The Adventures of Floyd Fiftynames, Licensed Bard

Game Notes: How it Ends, Part II

2011-12-30T08:02:00.001-08:00

Having defeated the Tarrasque, the party turns its attention to the High Elven Empire, where the High Elven Emperor stands as one of the final impediments to getting on to the fight with Visgoth. The party travels to the shores of the Empire (where they meet the surviving remnants of a "B" game that we would eventually play when multiple party members were unavailable on game nights), and fight an entire battalion of elven soldiers. Having defeated them, they are transferred to the Emperor's throne room, where they fully engage him in his true form - that of the Great Red Wyrm, long in hiding. At this point, Numnar, fully engulfed by fear, abandoned the party and ran away. After a brutal fight, the party kills the Emperor, and so eliminates the final roadblock to Visgoth's road to ascension.

At this point, it becomes necessary to clarify the reason for these actions - Ethan's dying request to the party was that they would defeat Visgoth once and for all, and the party agreed to this request. However, Visgoth would not deign to fight the party unless they defeated the High Elven Emperor on his behalf (this being to amuse Visgoth more than it served any practical purpose; Visgoth himself would probably be more than a match for the Emperor). The party was powerless to access Visgoth against his wishes, so old and well constructed were his defenses against any he wished to keep out. In exchange for this service, Visgoth granted the party the right to try and stop him.

With the High Elven Emperor defeated, all that remained was the final showdown with Visgoth. The party returned to Dreia to amass their forces, but once there, discovered that a camp city had been set up outside Dreia with Mitchell as their leader. A furious Floyd confronted Mitchell, and at long last slew him, whereupon he had his remains processed into a jar of jam which he carried with him ever after. The party traveled to the Warrior's Rest to recruit Goldschmiddt and Rumplemintz to the planning, only to discover that Rumplemintz had been a long-standing spy for Visgoth, and had finally departed to join his master, presumably as one of the "Ten" in the Ten vs. Twelve fight.

Goldschmiddt and the party met in Dreia to discuss the strategy of the Ten vs. Twelve fight. Many were considered for the roster (especially since anyone, living or dead, was eligible to join), including Scaramouche, Garam, Vain, Axe Bludgeonfist, Eric, Terick, Bjorn, and others. Ultimately, the roster settled upon was as follows: Guy, Brix, Virgil, Floyd, Pskenart the wizard, Pierce Thundar, Oak the druid, Sebastian, McGrath, Samared, Goldschmiddt, and the resurrected Hemis, holy warrior of legend. Doogal is chosen not to fight, but to stand by for the fight with Visgoth that follows, as Doogal is the only other bard who can play the Lay of Lugh with Floyd. Ethan is also not chosen for the fight, as his combat skills are negligible, but he is resurrected so that he can watch the fight.

The party discusses its strategy based on what it knows of the Ten - Harves Raeth, Malus, Jarrod, Elliot, Rumplemintz, Raven, Blaine, Mutric (the bandaged halfling from previous encounters, including the quest to unite the pieces of Visgoth's soul), and two unknown combatants - the Pagan and the Death Spectre. From this formidable group, Goldschmiddt assigns himself to combat Elliot, believing any fight with Elliot to be too personal for Virgil, who is the only other person that would logically be able to fight him. Brixmore, Virgil, and Guy concoct a plan to isolate the spellcasters and eliminate them from the board, although they suspect that this will be the strategy of the Ten as well.

The Twelve arrive at Visgoth's castle for the fight. There, they are joined by the Ten and an epic battle ensues. In the course of the action, Hemis is defeated and re-killed, his fighting style leaving much to be desired (kind of like watching George Mikan play in the modern NBA). Sebastian, Pierce, and Samared are also taken out of the fight - though not killed. In the end, though, the party is victorious, as they take out all members of the Ten, finishing appropriately with Malus. Shortly after, Goldschmiddt and Elliot fall to earth, Elliot dead and defeated, and Goldschmiddt on the brink of death. Goldschmiddt refuses healing, and wishes the party well before passing on to the next world.

The party gives their important documents and all items they do not need for the next fight to Pskenart, and request that he take them back to Haven for safe-keeping. Then, Guy, Virgil, Floyd, and Brix, accompanied by Doogal and Dr. Ethan, march into the castle to face Visgoth. They eventually find him in a room with a high ceiling, and an orb over a table set for a ceremony - the ceremony that will permit his ascension. After a brief bit of banter, the fight begins, with Floyd and Doogal playing the Lay of Lugh to lower Visgoth's magical defenses and suppress his spellcasting abilities. Virgil, Brix, and Guy engage him, with Floyd joining in the fight as soon as the song reaches a point where Doogal can play the tune alone. Even with his defenses weakened, Visgoth is a truly awesome combatant, and the party begins to falter in their efforts to defeat him. Sensing a need for an exit strategy, Virgil leaves combat and begins the process of ascension himself. Visgoth, not about to let that happen, takes the orb and flys to the top of the room, where he can be pursued only by Guy, Virgil, and Brix. A spectacular melee ensues at the top of the room, between Virgil, who is trying to co-opt godhood, Visgoth, who is trying to stop him, and Guy, who is attempting to destroy the orb, even though the ensuing explosion will result in a blast so powerful that no creature for many miles around will be able to survive the impact. Guy advises Floyd to escape, telling him that someone needs to survive to tell the story. Floyd, in a desperate effort to save himself and his friends, contacts Alvin, the spirit from the fey realm who can reach out to the material plane through stone surfaces. Floyd asks Alvin if there is a way that he can create an escape from the imminent explosion. Alvin says there is, but there will be a price. Guy warns Floyd that he cannot stave off destroying the orb any longer, and Floyd agrees to the price. Guy strikes the orb as Visgoth desperately tries to stop him, and everything flashes white.

And that is where the story ends. Or, at least it is the ending for those who hear the story. As it turns out, Alvin saves the party by casting Time Stop, and with his four rounds of action, he takes Floyd, Guy, Brixmore, and Virgil into the fey realm, leaving Visgoth to expire from his 25,000 year life in the explosion (Ethan and Doogal are also killed in the explosion, presumably, but Ethan was already dead, and Doogal - well, you never can truly count Doogal out). As his price for saving the party's bacon, Alvin charges these four incredible heroes with guarding and protecting the fey realm for the rest of their days, which are extended far beyond the realm of their kin by the characteristics of the Fey realm. Only on rare occasions is the party allowed to venture back to the Material Plane, to view the world that they saved, and, in Floyd's case, to tell the story of their grand adventure.

As a residual from the explosion, the characteristics of this world resonate with shock waves through several other planes of existence, meaning that on any given day, in any given campaign, one may encounter a magic hat, hear a mythic puppet musical, or even run into a fellow like Linus, Charles Fox, or even Harves Raeth.

Signed,

Floyd Fiftynames,

Licensed Bard

Game Notes: How it Ends, Part 1

2011-01-22T07:18:00.000-08:00

Completing the hole in the notes that takes us to the very end of the game. Some details and plot points may be lost, conflated, or confused. If someone else remembers them differently, pray, speak up. Otherwise, this will serve as Floyd's dry-notes on how the game came to a conclusion.

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After completing the challenges in the Tomb of Lugh (no small task, as there were three chambers in total, and one of them was full of undead creatures who wouldn't let the party sleep), Brix, Floyd, Guy, and Virgil collect the treasure at the end - a considerable payload. In addition to the music to the Lay of Lugh, there are many, many weapons, suits of armor, and magical items, a few of which come in sets. All of the primary party members end up wearing a full set of something; notably, Floyd stops wearing (though he doesn't get rid of) the Boots of the Jester to wear the Mal Nar set, a development that if it continues through to the fight of Visgoth, negates the prophecy of Future Virgil.

Virgil figures out a way for the party to bypass the challenges involved in exiting the tomb. The party returns promptly to the Eastern Lands, where Virgil is offered a position as a professor in the Arcanum, which he accepts. The party discusses what some perceive to be a lack of focus in completing their task, and the tendency to get bogged down by other responsibilities, side projects, etc. The party refocuses their effort on finding the lost page of Ethan's journal, and getting Guy's axe re-forged so that they can complete their next task. Amidst these goals, the threat of war between the prominent Eastern Lands houses looms.

Guy manages to get his axe remade, although the details of how exactly are somewhat hazy (sorry, folks), and the party makes its way to a side of the Eastern Lands yet unknown to them, where they encounter a society and culture so foreign to them that they know little of what to make from it. Their quest leads them to a confrontation with a Tojanida, who's diplomatic style causes the confrontation to escalate to the physical level. The fight proves to be tricky, as the Tojanida is housed within a magical water wall. To make matters more complicated, Harves Reath and Jarrod show up with Raven, a monk, an Blaine, a rouge, two warriors recruited from the Eastern Lands to be part of Visgoth's retinue in the Ten vs. the Twelve fight. The skirmish shifts to the party fighting them, but the party is forced to retreat before a satisfying conclusion can be reached.

Moving forward, the party finds and fights its way through an ancient temple devoted to a serpent god (not one the party has encountered previously) where they find the last page of Ethan's journal hidden. They also find an adventuring party that had been turned into stone. They are able to restore two of the adventurers, one who thanks them and helps them fight their way out of the temple. The other is the gnome wizard Numnar. Numnar is an evil, murderous psychopath with delusions of grandeur, and the party decides that it would be foolish of them to let Numnar out of their sight, where he could become more powerful, or spend time terrorizing some group of unsuspecting commoners. Also, Guy is out voted on the option of killing Numnar because the group finds him so damned amusing.

Having obtained the Lay of Lugh (which Floyd has spent his spare time feverishly trying to work out) and the page of Ethan's journal, they set about on their next task: finding the Tarrasque to retrieve the Rod of Wonder. Their search takes them to a temple high in the mountains on the Northeastern side of Aggravail, where, once inside, they discover a few important things:

1. the temple grants its inhabitants an unprecedented spiritual closeness to the one true God. In fact, Brixmore is loath to leave the temple, despite his knowledge that he must.

2. this "closeness" grants inhabitants, after a moment spent in prayer or quiet contemplation, a temporary bonus to their abilities, both in combat, and in skills and attempts to accomplish tasks that require dice rolls.

3. Using this bonus, Floyd attempts to play the Lay of Lugh in the hallowed halls of the temple. Played herein, he discovers, due to the temple's unique acoustical structure, that the song is actually a complex call and answer sort of duet, and that playing it properly requires the tremendous skill of TWO bards. Floyd considers the other powerful bards he knows, but chooses not to discuss it with the party at length.

4. There is an altar which can only be approached by characters of a good disposition. Guy and Brix are able to approach, and feel fulfilled by the experience. Floyd is able to approach, but experiences no such fulfillment. Virgil chooses not to approach.

The party leaves the temple, and continues their search for the Tarrasque. The party is called back to the Arcanum, and Guy and Brix are summoned to House Lin to consult on matters concerning the Eastern Lands war. Virgil, meanwhile, susses out the Tarrasque's location - a valley in Northern Issa - and he and Floyd decide to attempt to handle the obtaining of the Rod of Wonder "Floyd & Virgil-style," which is to say, with less combat overall. Floyd hires an artist to come with them to witness the scene and capture it for posterity. The pair arrives near the valley, where they discover the Tarrasque is asleep, and that approaching too closely will wake him up and begin his rampage anew. Virgil decides to bypass this problem (and the problem of the Rod of Wonder being inside the Tarrasque's gullet) by teleporting inside Tarrasque, finding the Rod, and teleporting out. However, much to the surprise of no one, this wakes the Tarrasque up. Floyd provides a minor distraction allowing Virgil to escape unharmed with the Rod of Wonder. The two grab the artist and blip out back to the Eastern Lands, giddy over their triumph. Guy and Brix return, and, after hearing what Floyd and Virgil have done, travel to the valley to see the Tarrasque, but discover that he has begun rampaging, destroying everything in his path between here and his current position in Southern Aggravail. Realizing that the Tarrasque must be fought and destroyed (or at least subdued back into slumber), the party engages it, and finds that, due to the combination of their high level and years of experience fighting together, that killing the Tarrasque is within their abilities, and although it takes a considerable effort, they finish him off without any of the party seriously wounded.

Game Over

2011-01-20T07:23:00.000-08:00

Please note that the final session of this game was played January 16th 2011 at Jake's house. It's been a hell of a ride and by far the best game I've ever run.

We started in August of 2007, the month my first son was born and played consistently through with one 3 month break during the summer of 2008 for Joey's Star Wars Game while Dave was out of town. I'll leave it to Joey to tally actual sessions played, but it was extremely long for our group. Inspite of it's length it never felt stale to me, and I hope to the players as well.

This game had it all - memorable villains, stanch allies, political intrigue, mystical happenings, wars of small to epic scope, relics of a bygone age, spiritual and divine struggles, pastoral locations, huge cities, forgotten ruins, dragons, varied cultures, racial struggles, and above all the heroic journey as our PCs went from being orphans of mysterious origin to saviors of creation.

I'm going to take a moment to reflect on some of my personal favorites from this game. I encourage the PCs to comment on my choices or do their own lists.

Villains: Visgoth comes foremost to mind as he was supremely powerful, the main villain of the overarching plot, and the final fight of the game. But there were other advasaries who I felt proud of or just thought were cool.

Harvas Raeth - while Visgoth was a cosmic threat, Harvas Raeth was an intimate evil that was not afraid to get personal. Universally hated by the PCs he was also respected and at times feared. And let us not forget- he survived and is still out there.
Thumb - I just loved the concept, the poise, and the confidence of the the Fist of Set's leader.
Sikator - Ah Sikator. Ultimately a minor opponent in the grand scheme of the plot, I truly enjoyed the sessions where the party interacted with the evil Lizardman's plots to avenge his god's defeat at th party's hands.
The Harvester - No being in the entire scope of the game generated such fear in the PCs as the Harvester did, an amazing feat when you consider they defeated him when they were about 8th level. Even up to the end he was mentioned reluctantly and with fear. And I have to say I out did myself with him. A figure of true horror.
Dugal - Heh. Possibly the most complexly layered NPC in the game. Villain or ally based on the situation and the opportunity. His redemption sought by Guy, his utter destruction by Virgil, a clear categorization of him (friend or foe) sought by Floyd, Dugal remained his own man to the end, an opportunist non-pareil.

Ten vs. Twelve Update

2011-01-03T13:15:00.000-08:00

Due to events beyond the group's control (namely Floyd's understanding of a calendar) the session has been postponed to Sunday January 9th. This has altered the Twelve's roster due to availablity. The roster is the same except:

Axe Bludgeonfist has been replaced with Pierce Thundar (human fighter, PC)

Oak has been replaced with Pskeenart (elven wizard, PC)

The Ten vs. the Twelve

2010-12-20T11:26:00.000-08:00

Destined Location: Castle Visgoth

Prophecy: "...and lo in the castle of the serpent on the day of ascension shall twelve enter to do battle with ten. And there they will fight to the death; none shall leave until all opponents are slain. In victory shall the course of the world be determined henceforth: freedom or tyranny."

The Ten
Elliot the Necromancer (wizard)
Harvas Raeth (monk/sorcerer)
Jared Shadowsmith (swordsman, shadowdancer)
Mutric (bandaged halfling, sorcerer)
Malus AKA Captain Evil (warrior)
Death Spectre (unknown abilities)
Raven (monk from Eastern Lands)
Blaine (shortsword wielding assasin from Eastern Lands)
The Pagan (unkown abilities, divine caster & melee combatant)
Rumplemintz (wizard)

The Twelve
Floyd Fiftynames (bard/duelist extraordinare - PC Joey)
Brixmor Baldon (cleric - PC Ben)
Virgil Deathbow (ranger, wizard, arcane archer - PC Dave)
Guy Fiftynames (barbarian, knight protector, holy liberator - PC Chris)
Axe Bludgeonfist (fighter - PC Aaron)
Oak (druid - PC Max)
Goldschmidt (druid)
Hemis (paladin)
Klepos (eldritch knight)
Sebastian (paladin)
McGrath (warrior)
Samred (barbarian)

Bench (to swap out with NPC pending availiblity)
Liam Strongbow (fighter - PC Greg)
Pskenart (enchanter - PC Justin)
Pierce Thundar (fighter - PC Daniel)

Brixmor's Game Plan (assuming full NPC roster)
Goldschmidt on Elliot
Guy on Harvas Raeth
Klepos on Jared
Floyd on Mutric
Samred on Malus
Hemis on the Death Spectre
Sebastian on Raven
McGrath on Blaine
Brixmor on the Pagan
Axe on Rumplemintz
Virgil and Oak in back for support

Other Game Blogs by the Group

2010-12-03T20:12:00.000-08:00

To any loyal readers out there - while you are waiting for updates or posts to this blog check out these other campagin blogs featuring the same players:

www.imperativevoyage.blogspot.com

www.mouthus.blogspot.com

or check out the group's poorly contrived website at

www.adventurersguild.weebly.com

Game Notes - August 8 & 15, 2010

2010-08-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

Gameplay begins as Guy joins the party (having arrived via separate transportation), and the gang starts off in search of the tomb of Lugh. After walking for a while and encountering some general nastiness, Guy realizes they have been under the effects of an illusion, and have wandered far off course. The party doubles back, but is forced to camp for the night before finding the tomb.

During the night, on Floyd's watch, a tribe of Driders (that's a drow / spider hybrid, folks) happens upon the party, and in exchange for some extra equipment the boys picked up along the way, the Driders tell the party the location of the tomb, which they know to be the realm of Bahamet, the spider god. The Driders inform the party that no one who has entered the cave where the tomb of Lugh is suspected to be returns, and those who do are usually killed by the Driders.

The party heads for the tomb in the morning, finding the cave fairly easily. Inside, they deal with all manner of giant spider business, including the destruction of Bahamet. Much rejoicing. Having cleaned out the giant spiders from the top of the cave, they find a lever which opens a porthculis to the next part of the cave, a long, LONG bridge. Brix casts Airwalk on some of the party (those who can't polymorph to fly), and the group passes over the bridge and all its terrors quickly and easily. Once on the other side, they find themselves in front of three doors.

Here ends the August 8 Session; the August 15 Session follows:

The party chooses their path through the gray, stone door which is the least adorned of the entryways. The path is lined with exceptionally deadly traps, but Floyd's trapfinding ability allows the party to circumvent most of them (one exception is a trap that nearly kills Brix, arguably the party's hardiest member). Finally, they reach the end of the hall, but are dismayed to see a door guarded by what appears to be ten iron golems. The party tries to rest and re-memorize, but regular attacks by shadows and wraiths make this effort impossible, so they charge into the room, hoping to get through the door before the iron golems can do considerable damage. To their great relief, only four of the golems are active, and Guy, Brix, and Virgil manage to dispatch them (with limited resources due to their depleted spell slots) while Floyd picks the lock to the room. The party opens the door and prepares to face their next challenge.

End of Session

Game Notes March - July 2010, Part 3

2010-08-08T12:24:00.001-07:00

The party heads to Doovin’s estate, where they intend to tell him of their impending trip to the Eastern Lands. However, they do not find Doovin there, only a man who is said to be watching the estate for Doovin while he is away on errands. The man is extremely rude and racist towards gnomes and dwarves, which results in Floyd zoning him out. He invites any commenter who recalls what this guy talked about to elaborate in the comments section, because he just doesn’t remember.

The party zips along to the border between Aggravail and the Eastern Lands, crossing over the border and finding a flying ship available for transport. The ship’s captain, a dwarf and native to the Eastern Lands, explains that he transports visitors between Aggravail and the Eastern Lands, although most travel is conducted by native Eastern Landers going to and from Aggravail. Very few visitors from Aggravail come to the Eastern Lands. The dwarf recalls three instances since he began his business, and one of them sounds as though they could be Ethan. The dwarf goes on to explain the political and religious structure of the Eastern Lands, which are controlled by houses that ally themselves with the elemental forces that give this land its strange power.

The party arrives at the central city of the Eastern Lands, where they encounter a variety of magical technology yet unknown to them. Guy, Virgil, and Brix are somewhat uncomfortable in this new environment, and Floyd tries to take it in stride. After taking a passenger car into the city, they walk through the common market, seeing all sorts of new species and manner of things. Eventually, the party makes its way to the Arcanum, the home of the arcane spellcasters’ guild. Once inside the Arcanum, however, they are identified and brought before an official, who reads three warrants for the party, one a summons from House Lin (the Halfling house), one a wanted ad from the mercanaries’ guild, and the third a summons from the wardens, a group that has taken upon itself the responsibility of governing the Eastern Lands.

The party asks to be released to House Lin, as their invitation seemed the least ominous. Once taken there, an official from House Lin introduces himself and tells the the party of the House structure in the Eastern Lands, and how it is difficult to get anything done or find protection without being a member of a house. Since Lin has extended their friendship, the boys express interest in joining House Lin, but must first complete a task for them as a test of their loyalty. They are sent to the wilderness to retreive a gem from a crashed airship, which they manage to do by tracking it down to a Temple of Krissk where it is being kept. There, they negotiate with the Temple elders and bring back the gem. Along the way they deal with trouble from a mercenary who ends up being more bluster than action.

The House of Lin is thoroughly impressed and bestows membership upon the party, who use this newfound allegiance to start getting tasks accomplished. Guy goes to the Azers to have his axe melted down and reforged with new magical properties. However, after melting the axe, the Azer explains that he cannot reforge it and refers him to someone who can (who is not in the city, natch). The party goes to the Arcanum to conduct their research undisturbed, and discover 1. the Eastern Lands’ page of Elliott’s journal, and 2. information on the Lay of Lugh. Virgil reconstructs his map for the Arcanum officials, who determine that the map is directions to the tomb of Lugh, where the Lay of Lugh is kept (among many other treasures; reportedly, a quarter of the documented artifacts in Guy’s compendium of artifacts can supposedly be found at the tomb of Lugh.

While Guy is working on getting his axe fixed, Virgil, Floyd, and Brix meet up with Pierce Thundar, who has been in the Eastern Lands for a while now. They swap news, and Pierce accompanies them on the trip to the Tomb of Lugh (Guy agrees to meet up with them later). The party takes an airship provided by House Lin, but discover that the captain has sold the information and the trip to another adventuring party. After determining that the party is evil (partially), and when talks with them break down, a fight breaks out, which the party wins with relative ease. The party also discovers that one of the other adventuring party has ALSO sold the information to another group, which is discovered to be following them on a ship of their own. The party arrives at the Tomb of Lugh, and Pierce departs with the ship.

End of Part 3; End of Sessions to date

Game Notes - March - July 2010, Part II

2010-08-08T10:56:00.001-07:00

The party heads back towards Dreia for the final battle of the goblin war. On the way, they are paged by Doogal, whom they meet in Guy’s Port. Doogal has returned from Issa, bringing with him troops and supplies. In exchange, the Issans have requested control of the city of Guy’s Port as an embassy of sorts for their government to trade and engage in international diplomacy. Guy relinquishes the city to the Issans with only minor reluctance.

The party makes their way to Dreia, where the find the High Council (Braddock, Garvey, Bart, Ajax, Appolonious, Terick, etc.) making final preparations. The final battle strategy is settled upon, and then begins a grand final feast and celebration, which all the officers and enlisted men partake in.

Following this feast, the army makes ready to meet the approaching goblin force, this time commanded by none other than the Warlord Graxx himself. The party joins the front lines, alongside Samared, McGrath, and many of their other more powerful allies. There, they inspire the troops, help them prepare, and generally raise spirits before the battle.

Along the way, the party runs into Goldschmiddt and Rumplemintz, who enlist Virgil for an anticipated aspect of the battle – advance scouting reports a powerful trio of mind flayer wizards who will attempt to wage war against the magical abilities of the spellcasters in the battle. Goldschmiddt and Rumplemintz help Virgil prepare for this aspect of the battle.

At long last, the goblin army appears on the horizon, five times the size of the force assembled to fight them. An enormous, bloody battle ensues, with the party and the more advanced adventurers taking out the higher level baddies in the fight. Swarms of soldiers swell around the twelve Cathonic beasts of legend in this battle, even managing to take down one. Well into, but still in the early stages of the battle, Revan contacts the party with the news that he has figured out how to disable the magic-dampening beacons. The party leads a team towards one of the beacons, which the goblins defend voraciously. Finally, Floyd and Virgil gain access to the inside of the beacon while Guy, Brix, Samared, and McGrath defend their position from the outside.
Floyd and Virgil work their way up to the top of the beacon tower, then call Guy and Brix up. Whilst Guy and Floyd fight off the goblins attempting to defend the beacon’s power source, Virgil and Brix analyze the beacon and come to the conclusion that it can be destroyed with a Miracle spell. Brix casts the spell, which results in a holy schockwave resonating across the battlefield. Realizing it would be impossible for the party to take out all of the beacons this way, there is initially despair, until they realize that the holy energy has infused itself with the soldiers on the battlefield, raising the fallen and giving the allies new life and hope.

At this time, Goldschmiddt and Rumplemintz retreive Virgil for the mage-off. What follows is a fireworks show of magical energies as the three spellcasters trade blows with the mind flayers, but ultimately Goldschmiddt, Rumplemintz, and Virgil are victorious. This leads to a brief lull in the fighting while both sides regroup.

During this lull, the party is delighted to find Pskenart and Axe recently arrived from Larst, here to join the fight. As the battle resumes, the heroes fight valiantly, yet in spite of this, the beacons and Cathonic beasts are taking their toll on the numbers in the fight. It is when all hope seems nearly lost that Visgoth finally arrives (sort of), sending Harves Raeth and Malus to command his mighty army of undead. These undead swarm the Cathonic Beasts and the beacons, felling them with impressive alacrity. This distraction allows the party the opportunity it needs for a final push towards the Warlord. Taking their most elite group into the fray, the party works its way up to the Warlord’s prime entourage. A spectacular combat ensues, during which the party expends every available resource they have in battle. Pskenart and Floyd are both killed in the fight, and Axe is taken out, but Guy, nearly down to the last, manages to deliver the killing blow. The Warlord is dead.

The death of the Warlord has a major psychological ramification on the goblin forces. Disorganized and disillusioned, they scatter as the heroes and their army conduct mop-up duty. Guy, Virgil, and Brix carry their fallen comrades off the field, and, once the battle is over, resurrect Pskenart and Floyd.

The dead are tallied, and the number is overwhelming. Among the casualties of the battle are Vain, Pope Benedict, Ajax, Luth, and General Braddock. The fighting force of Western Aggravail is reduced to five digits from the two million who took the field. While the number of the dead is depressing, their sacrifice becomes fortuitious for the reality of the war’s aftermath that is to follow. Facing dramatically reduced resources, the survivors divide off into groups, occupying the Freelands territory (as of now, the only real livable land on the continent) in separate communities. Bart is asked to lead a community, and chooses to do so, promising to keep in touch with the party and work with them as they attempt to rebuild. Havern also returns to lead his community in peace. Appollonious, on the other hand, consults with the party, who decide that a regent must be installed in the Freelands to maintain order and keep the nation from dissolving. Appollonious takes on this regency, with the party engaged in other tasks.

The boys are concerned to find themselves at odds with followers of Doogal for control of Dreia. Tensions are raised to anger between Doogal’s spokesman and the party, and Virgil kills the spokesman in anger in front of many people. The rest of the party attempts to restrain Virgil, but Virgil chooses to Teleport away rather than face punishment. Guy, seeing no other recourse if he wants to keep the peace, declares Virgil an outlaw and pariah from the community.

The party goes off in search of Virgil, whom they find and begin to negotiate an acceptable return, however, Virgil is not keen on paying for his misdeed. The group attempts to involve Appollonious in their descion, but when they radio him, they learn from one of the Freelandian soldiers that Appollonious has been forced out of Haven by followers of Doogal. The party returns to Haven, marching straight in to the new leader of Doogal’s men and demanding they vacate Haven. The leader has the audacity to ask for terms, and they nearly come to blows again, saved only by a strong desire for diplomatic solution and a need not to escalate the situation further. Finally, Doogal himself returns, and the entire affair turns out to be a misunderstanding of where Doogal’s people were supposed to settle.

Doogal and Virgil negotiate their way through and appropriate punishment that will allow Doogal to save face. After considerable discussion, Virgil allows Doogal to behead him in front of his people. Brix immediately Ressurects Virgil, but the point is made.

The party heads west to The Warrior’s Rest to discuss their next move. Along the way they pass Guy’s Port and discover that three groups are fighting for control of it – followers of Doogal, the Issans, and a Freelandian faction. Guy visits the Issans and attempts a negotation for Issan food and supplies in exchange for increased trade and diplomatic inolvement in Aggravail.

Continuing on to Goldschmiddt, the party encounters Appollonius and expain the Doogal situation, and how he may safely return to Haven. Still on their way, the party is intercepted and taken to see Visgoth, who is curious to know if they have picked their twelve for the final fight (see the ten vs. the twelve propehcy). Visgoth explains that death is not necessarily an impediment to those who will fight in this encounter. During this conversation, the existence of the Elf-Grandmother comes up. Visgoth’s nostrils’ flare, and he’s off.

Of course, there’s no way the party’s not going to see this, so they zip off to Grandmother’s house. Guy, Brix, and Floyd maintain a safe distance while Virgil Polymorphs into a woodland critter and goes in for a closer look, using Teris’ spell circle to communicate the visuals and audio with the others. Visgoth confronts Grandmother, and an angry conversation ensues. Meanwhile, Virgil spots the Bellmaker taking off from Grandmother’s back porch with the twin elf boys in tow. Guy, Floyd, and Brix follow the Bellmaker, finding him just as he uses a bell to open a portal, and tosses the babies in. The party stops the Bellmaker from going through, demanding answers. Before he can elaborate, though, Linus drops in and kills the Bellmaker. Linus tells the boys that the Zarin they knew is dead, and that Linus’ consiousness has completely overtaken this body. He continues to profess non-allegienance, refusing to answer why he killed the Bellmaker, and he goes on his way.

Meanwhile, Virgil, from his hidden position, witnesses Visgoth kill Grandmother. Before she perishes, though, she imprints a map in Virgil’s brain. Virgil, alarmed that his position may have been given up, escapes and meets up with the rest of the party, who tell him about the Bellmaker encounter, and their inability to find the elf twins, Voltaire and Voltar. Vigil analyzes the portal, and determines that is an ever shifting portal, surmising that the twins may have ended up on compltely different planes from each other. The portal’s design keeps unwanted followers from being able to find you, but no individual who goes through it ends up in the same place. Realizing they have no hope of finding the twins, they dismiss the portal.

The party finally makes it to Goldschmiddt, and they explain everything that has happened to him. Goldschmiddt elaborates on a theory about Visgoth, that he is an aspect of something called the World Serpent, an antithesis to the spirt of creation (which Brix would classify as the one true God). Goldschmiddt believes that Visgoth’s desire to ascend is only part of a plan to reunite all of the World Serpent’s aspects, which would be very bad news for the universe. This news puts the party’s plan to find Ethan’s journal into high gear.

The group travels to the Necromancer’s Tower to retreive the second page, which they are able to do without major incident (they fight a transformed and mad angel, but nothing of major story consequence happens, nor do they encounter Elliott, as the journal page lies deep within the nether bowels of the tower, where Elliott is apparently unaware of its existence), only therein does the party discover further evidence of Elliott’s horrific evildoings. The page they find explains the mystical properties of the Lay of Lugh, a song fo the utmost difficulty, which, if played correctly, will suprress certain aspects of the vampire’s powers, enabling the party’s weapons to do damage to him. The Lay of Lugh, it is last rumored according to the page, is somewhere in the Eastern Lands. This knowledge directly influences the party’s next actions.

End of Part 2

Game Notes - March - July 2010

2010-08-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

PART ONE

My apologies for the delay in postings. These past few months have been pretty busy. If you know me, it’s likely you know why. If you don’t, you probably don’t care why. Truth be told, neither do I. Since we’re in agreement, its on to business!

The following is a summation of what has occurred in game over the last few months. It is, unfortunately, not as comprehensive as session-to-session notes, but hopefully it will suffice.

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In Luthia, the party recruits Garam to lead them on an expedition to the Temple of Set, for the purposes of rescuing Benedict, and hopefully putting the Fist of Set down once and for all. Garam agrees with some reluctance. Brix sets his Word of Recall for Luthia, and Virgil concocts a Teleport, which, aided by Garam and Floyd, succeeds in reaching their destination (the probability for error increased when the spellcaster has not visited the location prior).

As the party sneaks into the Temple of Set, the boys and Garam discuss Ethan and his request that they destroy Visgoth. To this end, Garam tells the party of Ethan’s research and findings into the methodology. Garam explains that Ethan had put together how to do it, but in order to protect the information and keep Visgoth unaware that it had been sussed out, he broke the instructions apart and spread them out in various locations. These pages with information were kept in a journal by Ethan, and Garam tells the boys that three of the pages are kept in Moloch’s Palace in the Meloitic Empire, the Necromancer’s Tower (Elliott’s current address), and the Eastern Lands, respectively. The boys REJOICE* over the knowledge that their journey will take that much longer.

*Sarcasm

The group works their way through a couple of levels of the temple, managing to stay hidden OR kill everything they encounter with relative ease. Having the option to go up or down in the temple, the party elects to go up. On the penultimate level of the temple, they encounter a room full of beholders, which, due to their numbers and the ability to create coverage all over the room, the party does not defeat, rather escaping to the top level with Brixmore sealing off the top via a Stone Shape spell.

On the top level, the party finds several unoccupied small rooms. In one of those rooms, Floyd finds a secret compartment in a bureau, wherein there is a magical necklace. Thinking this necklace to be his on the virtue of the fact that he found it, Floyd does not consider the need to hide his findings from the rest of the party, or for that matter, store the necklace in his rectum.
The party finds the main audience chamber. The door is closed, but by listening through the door, they realize that the Fist of Set is in there, waiting for them. Coming to the conclusion that the enemy is prepped, the party preps their own spells, abilities, etc., and they charge in. There they find the Fist of Set, along with a bound Benedict, and several of the Fist’s best friends. A fight ensues, during which Garam is killed, but so is the Fist of Set and all the room’s evil inhabitants. Benedict is rescued, and the Brix attempts to ressurect Garam, but Garam declines the offer.

The party moves on to explore the lower levels of the Temple, After bypassing the beholder room, the party makes its way down to the subterannian levels, where they encounter a partial construct, partial undead version of Virgil, who explains that he is from a future where the party fought Visgoth and lost, due to Floyd’s reckless use of his recently-obtained necklace and his boots. The party demands Floyd hand his necklace over to Virgil, Floyd reluctantly agrees to when it becomes appartent that he will be subdued for it.

The party returns to Aggravail with Benedict, where they are met by General Braddock, who has a war-related mission for them – to stop a flotilla of goblin troops sailing around the northwest corner of the continent. Using Floyd’s newly learned Shadow Walk, the group travels speedily to the beach near Britewater, where they intend to cut the flotilla off. Virgil Polymorphs to scout the flotilla, and learns that the whole thing is supported by four Krakens. The boys decide to attack the flotilla by taking out the Krakens. They prepare all manner of underwater spells (Water Breathing, etc.), and head for the flotilla. Due to their excellent preparation, the party dispatches the Krakens handily and sinks the flotilla.

The group heads back to Luthia to report their success, but are intercepted on the way by Charles Fox, who has decided to cash in his favor that Floyd owed to him for transporting him out of the Dream Realm. Fox asks the boys to retreive a scroll for him that is kept in the Eastern Lands, and tells them that once they retreive it for him, he will deposit them wherever they would like to end up. The party considers this a good opportunity, both for getting a taste of the Eastern Lands (which they will have to visit to find one of Ethan’s journal pages), but also for the chance to get into the sealed-off Meliotic Empire city.

Fox transports the boys to a forested area in the Eastern Lands, but due to a teleporting error, Guy does not travel with them. Fox vows to find Guy whilst the others get his scroll. Virgil, Brix, and Floyd walk the path they have been left on, discovering that it is a road to a fortress. Further scouting reveals that the fortress is a compound for giant-folk. While continuing their scouting, the party observes the crash of a flying ship. They head over to scout it out, and find the crew all critically injured or dead. As they explore further, they find the ship loaded with precious goods – weaponry, art, etc. As they explore (invisibly), they discover one of the more mobile crewmen activatling self-destruct mechanisms on the crates. The boys sneak out to the top deck, where they find giants from the compound interrogating the ship’s captain, an turtle-like creature. Deciding this is not their fight, the boys sneak off the ship, and observe from a distance. There, they observe the giants raiding the ship for goods. The party follows the giants from a distance to observe how they enter the compound, ultimately discovering a large drainage entrance on the way.

Brix, Floyd, and Virgil sneak into the compound via the drainage entrance, huddled together under Floyd’s Invisibility Sphere and Silence spells. They pass through most of the compound unseen and find themselves in a grand audience chamber. There, they see the giants cowing to and dwarfed by their master, a titan. VERY cautiously, the party sneaks into the titan’s main chamber. There, adjacent to the bedroom, they find a treasure room. The trio discover a chest (trapped, naturally), wherein they find the scroll, among a few other goodies. Virgil searches for Ethan’s journal page, but it is not located here. Unfortunately, their entrance to the room sets off a few wards and alarms, and the party finds themselves face to face with the titan. Realizing quickly that they cannot win this fight, Virgil transforms the party into mice, and the escape under the door, much to the thundering fury of the titan, who puts out an all-points bulletin on the boys.

The party manages to sneak out of the compound, where they are met by Charles Fox, who takes the scroll and expresses his gratitude to the boys, then, as promised, transports them to the steps of the palace at the Melotic Empire. There, they find Guy has teleported along with them. Guy’s explanation for where he has been all this time bores Floyd, so he does not take note of it.

The party takes stock of the city, finding most of its citizens are under a magical compulsion. Many of them are wastrels, malnurished and looking very bad. The same cannot be said of the soldiers, who seem fully alert and well taken care of. The boys decide to take advantage of this situation by visiting the local magic shop, but find slim pickings there.

While discussing their plan, the party is visited by a future version of Floyd, who explains that history has rewritten itself so that what future Virgil had forewarned of does not come to pass. However, future Floyd explains that the party will need to return the necklace to Floyd if they wish to survive an upcoming encounter at the Necromancer’s Tower. The party takes this under consideration, but choose not to return the necklace to Floyd at this time, much to his consternation.

The party sneaks into the palace, unnoticed by the hypnotized populace and the otherwise occupied soldiers. They make their way to the library, where they find two alert librarians. Things quickly get out of hand, and the party is forced to dispatch with them. However, this alerts the castle to their presence, and they are forced to barricade themselves into the library while they think of a plan (one that hopefully comes with eight hours of rest). Much to their surprise, they find the effort to apprehend them to be token, at best, and they are allowed to sleep through the night (on watches, of course). After prepping, the party sneaks through the palace, but finds their way unobstructed as they approach the throne room. There, they find a disguised Moloch, who has decided to deal with the party himself. Moloch reveals his true form to the party, that of an Elder Green Wyrm. A seriously tense battle ensues, ending when Floyd uses a magical eye he found in the titan’s stash to disintegrate the beast. Jubilant, the party ascends to the top of the palace to ring the bell and release the city from its magical force field. However, having done so, they find that the citizens of Meloitic City, having been released from the magic that binds them, are too far gone to survive, and have sadly passed away. Meanwhile, Moloch has apparently sent a force westward to cause havoc. Virgil cuts this force off, and the soldiers, learning that Moloch is dead, disperse to their own ends.

Meanwhile, a transmission reaches party from General Braddock. The final battle of the goblin war is at hand.

End of Part 1

NPC Profile: Viggio

2010-08-04T15:34:00.000-07:00

We're back. Let's try not to make a big deal out of this.

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Viggio was a member of the Seekers, a continent-wide group dedicated to fighting and hunting different monstrous entities. Viggio was one of the first adventurers that the party encountered upon leaving the abbey.

The party visited Viggio at the request of Dr. Ethan, who asked them to take a mysterious vial to him in Verl’s Crook. When they visited Viggio’s house, they found a corpulent man with a sour attitude. He asked the boys if anyone had touched the contents of the vial (naturally, Virgil had tasted it), so Viggio was forced to inject Virgil with a mysterious substance – the party later found out the vial contained vampire blood, and the injection was meant to prevent any ill side effects from imbibing the fluid.

Later on, while helping Ethan subdue a vampire, they discover that Viggio has been hurt fighting this monstrosity, but that he would recover.

When the party learns of the organization known as the Seekers, they discover Viggio is a part of it. As a member of the Seekers, Viggio participates in some of the bigger events in the party’s story: The Battle of the Cracked Flagon, the dinner meeting with Visgoth, and the Battle for the Basilica in Larst, where Viggio loses his life.

Like all who died in this battle and fought against Argoth, Viggio is revered as a hero.

February 6 & 21 Game Notes

2010-02-26T05:57:00.000-08:00

NOTE: No sessions were played between February 7 - 20.

Gameplay begins in Luthia, with Brix deciding to conduct some independent research on the Central and End of Days prophecies, and Floyd, Guy, and Virgil returning to Dreia to seek out Benedict for his opinion and insight. Upon arriving in Dreia, the trio pay a visit to Mason, whom they find to be acting slightly out of line with what the party knows of his character. At that point, Guy notices that Mason has grey eyes, which he remembers from Bart's military intelligence to be a sign of a doppleganger. Alarmed at this revelation, the party plays it cool and parts company with Mason.

The boys immediately conduct a twofold investigation to figure out how Mason had been replaced with a doppleganger, and where they could find Benedict. As part of their investigation, they strike up a conversation with a member of the city watch, and in the process discover that Mitchell has become the de facto sherrif of Dreia - head of the watch. Knowing that Mitchell, ever the opportunist, has worked with the Goblin army, this gives the boys the how and the who behind what happened to Mason. Further investigation leads them to a city dump, where they find some of Mason's remains.

Unfortunately, their investigation alerts Mitchell that the Order of the Abbey have returned to the city, and Mitchell escapes, creating chaos and confusion among the watch-gaurd, so much so that they barely notice when the Fifty Gnomes' house catches fire. Floyd, Guy, and a few good neighbors help put out the fire, only to discover that the culprits are the Fist of Set, they themselves creating a diversion that will allow them to reach City Hall unimpeded. The fire out, the boys rush to the central promenade to discover they are too late, and the doppleganger Mason has been assasinated. While this has the unintended effect of removing doppleganger Mason from power without implicating the party in the murder of Mason, they are too late to reach the Fist of Set; to make matters worse, the party's efforts to find Benedict are for naught, and the suspicion is that the Fist of Set may have gotten to Benedict before the party could.

At this momentary peak of frustration, the boys are recalled to Luthia, where Braddock re-assigns them to command a select section of soldiers whose job it will be to hold the Pass until such time as the bulk of the force can fall back to the Illrean capital. Though dismayed to know that the Pass will be yielded, the party nevertheless accepts the responsibility in order to save as many good soldiers as possible. The trio travel to the Pass, where they learn that the King of Nemia is bringing a group of soldiers in to back them up. Guy and Virgil send Halverson back to the city with eighty percent of the force and commence working with the remaining soldiers on a battle strategy.

After a time, Halverson returns, stating that he feels it is important to stand with his soldiers, many of whom he expects to fall today. Virgil takes the archers up to a high position, Guy reinforces the (very makeshift) barricade, and Floyd wanders among the remaining troops, boosting morale and providing inspiration. When the goblin army arrives, it is indeed immense, and they are led by a troll with a nasty looking sword and his own personal bloodwatch guard (that special strike force the party was brought in to fight on the Tutian front a few sessions ago). The troll and the party exchange threats, then retreat to their position for battle. The party fires the first shot, in essence, by having Floyd Dimension Door to the rear of the goblin force and release the green "light signal" that the party obtained the last time they fought a bloodwatch guard, which indicates to the army to begin concentrating their fire into that area. The goblin army erupts into chaos, and Floyd Dimension Doors back to his position, whereupon Virgil orders his men to begin firing their arrows.

NOTE: This is the end of the Feb. 6 session, and the beginning of the Feb. 21 session.

At this point, through a wild magic quirk, Virgil finds himself suddenly replaced by Brixmore, who is equally surprised to discover himself teleported to the field. Brix, however, being cool like that, takes the whole thing in stride, and takes over command of the archers, wreaking his own special brand of holy havoc on the goblin army. Guy commands the group on the ground, which holds the barricade for as long as possible, then summons everything they've got to fight the goblin force. The good guys hold out for an impressive amount of time, and take out a large number of goblins, but eventually, their force is whittled down by approximately half. The archers run out of arrows, and Brix shifts his focus to healing soldiers and getting them back into action. The troll commander calls out to the party to surrender, but they refuse. At that point, the troll decides to face the boys personally (well, personally along with the bloodwatch guard).

Both armies fall back to a neutral position as Brix, Guy, and Floyd march out to meet the troll and his special force. Knowing the Nemain King's forces are still an hour away, Floyd does his best to delay the troll via parlay, writing out and detailing all the conditions of the fight, and singing "The Battle of the Cracked Flagon (Alice's Restaurant Version) for about 25 minutes, but eventually, the troll runs out of patience and the fight is underway. Brix puts up a Blade Barrier that separates the most of the bloodwatch guard from the troll, and the remaining guard attempt to grapple Guy. Floyd stabs the troll, and to his surprise, does quite a bit of damage, which the troll rewards him for by pummeling the dog shit out of him.

Eventually, Floyd manages to free Guy from the grapple, and Guy works his magic, felling the troll. Brix caps the defeat of the troll with a Flamestrike in order to insure the troll does not regenerate; however, once the bloodwatch guard realizes their commander is defeated, they go into kamikaze mode and take out the remaining soldiers in the good guys' army. Enraged, Guy draws the apocalypse sword, killing the bloodwatch gaurd and a good portion of the goblin force, but stops short of major destruction.

Floyd, Guy, and Brix fall back to the Illrean capital, where they meet up with the King of Nemia, who sends his troops in that direction as well. The battle at the pass buys the army enough time to set themselves up in good position to defend against a seige in the city, and soon enough, the goblin army arrives, reinforced, and begins laying seige to Illrea. Within the city, the boys take advantage of an opportunity to re-explore the Illrean Ranger safe house in the city. Upstairs, they find the Wand of Fireball laser cannons, and use them to put major smoking holes into the goblin forces. However, they only have a couple of charges apiece, which only serves to slow the goblins down. Left to their own devices again, the boys explore the transporting closets. They work out that the tiles in the closets allow the travelers to choose their destinations, and they begin working out where each destination takes them - one of them being to Haven. On the 2nd destination, they find their molecules being pulled apart, but manage to put the third tile on before it's too late. On the fourth destination, they find themselves in the ruins of the Ranger safe house in Larst, which, unfortunately, has no return tiles, leaving them stranded.

As Brix's Word of Recall is still set to the Tutian front, the party decides to return to Luthia from here on foot. First, however, they stop in and see Pskenart and Axe to check in on their progress. Pskenart is working hard at rebuilding Larst, but is frustrated because Terick has recruited every able-bodied man and woman in the area. The party promises to talk to Terick about supplying Pskenart with some more people.

The trio heads north through the former Gortia with the intent of running into Terick's army, which they do. Terick, as it turns out, has been doing a stellar job of building an army with what is available to him. Although they are short on supplies and true soldiers, Terick has made up for it with organization and an aggressive mindset. The boys themselves are almost recruited into the force, before finding their way to Terick, who calls off his recruiting dogs. The boys talk with Terick, who agrees to send 100 people back to Larst to help Pskenart. In the meantime, the army has swelled to almost 400,000 people, and Terick feels confident that he can get half a million if given another month and the opportunity to sweep through Luthia and southern Silar. The boys tell him they will try to give him that month, at which point it is expected that the army will join them at the front.

Brix, Guy, and Floyd continue north. Along the way, they encounter multiple goblin raiding parties of 60 or so apiece, and although they make short work of them, they are surprised to run into no less than three of them in a week. So as not to waste the resources, the party contacts Terick so that he can send parties to pick up the usable goblin horses, armor, and weaponry that the raiding parties no longer need (what with being dead and all). Brix attempts a Speak with Dead to discern some of the goblin raiding parties' motivation, but finds that they no little about the war other than their own role in dominating the western continent.

The boys reach southern Luthia, and have a close encounter with Visgoth's ex-wife, the grandmother of the elf twins who complete the Year of the Ram kids. She tells Guy to be careful with how she uses the sword, that every death it causes gives power to dark forces - knowledge that considerably changes Guy's opinion of the sword's usage. She also thanks the boys for all that they have been doing to advance her cause, though the party is unaware of exactly how they have done that. As she parts company from them, Floyd manages to forget that he is not supposed to mention the twins in her presence, as he tells her that they are anxious for the infants to grow up. Grandmother pauses, then lets it pass for the time being as she walks away.

The party heads up to the War Council, where they are disappointed to discover that the fallback from the first front will happen sooner than they thought. Guy and Brix do their best to convince the council to hold out another month for Terick's sake, and consider the implications of a fallback into the Western Luthian forest and the Twilight Lands.

End of Session

TOP 10 NPCs

2010-02-25T09:14:00.000-08:00

I started playing the 2nd Edition of D&D in 7th grade, and continued through my sophomore year in high school, at which point too many people lost interest in the effort it took to get together for us to continue playing regularly. In the Spring of 2001, Jake introduced me to 3rd Edition, and graciously added me as a player in his veteran game, whereupon I had the time of my life, and a dormant passion was renewed.

Over the last nine years, I’ve played in nine games and run six of my own, and while I’m fond of many of the characters I’ve played, the most communal experience our group has as players is shared fondness / disdain for particular NPC’s that have crossed our path on one or more occasions. The following is a list of the top ten NPC’s we’ve encountered over the last decade, and why I feel they are / were so special (HINT: the secret to a great NPC is the way you react to them and how it inspires you to play as a character).

10. El-Hamanid, Created by: Dave, Game(s) in which NPC appeared: DuPontaine Swashbucklers

The bait and switch is a classic NPC tactic – create an NPC ally / acquaintance who the players come to trust, only to have them turn out to be the “big bad guy” they fight in the end. Of all the bait and switch NPCs I’ve encountered as a player, El-Hamanid was definitely the most unexpected. The reason for this was probably Dave’s ability to immerse us in a world of intrigue where we suspected everyone else. To us, El-Hamanid was simply Trader Joe, a completely different NPC staple – the universal shopkeep. For the first time in my playing history, though, the shopkeep did it.

9. Herb, Created by: Chris, Game(s) in which NPC appeared: The Fantabulous Mage-a-Tron

Herb was your classic wise man – lives in a small town, knows every secret in the game, is folksy and charming. But Chris’ specialty is folksy and charming, which gave Herb a twinkle Burl Ives couldn’t manage. In a world of high fantasy and magic, Chris’ hardy, New England farmer take on Herb was so convincing that I’ve often found myself wishing he were real so I could go to him for the answers.

8. Malkawa, Created by: Joey, Game(s) in which NPC appeared: Mouthus’ Journal

Every Star Wars game that takes place in the Old Republic era is bound to have a Jedi mentor in it. Malkawa could have been that mentor, were she not surrounded by a group hell-bent on re-routing the moral compass of the galaxy to their own whims. In the defense of the players, Malkawa was pretty insufferable; she was a Wookiiee, which made it difficult for her to communicate with most of the players, and she had a tendency towards righteous indignation that rubbed many of the players (particularly Chris and Daniel) the wrong way. I have no doubt that many will disagree about her inclusion; however, her influence alone kept the party from descending into a complete moral vacuum – once she was written out of the game, the criminal elements reigned supreme.

7. Jesus (Egg Pilot Edition), Created by: Dave, Game(s) in which NPC appeared: The Rapture

Jesus in an egg jumped every possible shark imaginable in Dave’s D20 future setting, propelling the story towards a speedy and premature conclusion. While this was regrettable, the character in itself was something of a masterstroke, and indelibly a creation of his DM. Dave’s Jesus was painted in the broad strokes of a Washington Post political cartoon – confused, out of sorts, and blindly poking at straws, the savior of mankind didn’t so much orchestrate his deification as he did stumble into it.

6. Soljus, Created by: Joey, Game(s) in which NPC appeared: The Dominici, The Fantabulous Mage-a-Tron, The DOPP

Soljus is a hybrid character, and this is important because his genius lies not in his creation so much as his development. When he first appeared in my Dominici game, Soljus was a common criminal polymorphed into a monkey by an Archmage; he later regained his human form only to become a monkey again later. In Chris’ hands, he took on a new life: Soljus’ curse was more than just a new form – he was granted an unnaturally long life, and lived so long that wisdom at long last found him after years of stubborn refusal. In my opinion, this makes him a truly amazing NPC – one who achieved real growth and change.

5. Doogal, Created by: Jacob, Game(s) in which NPC appeared: The Order of the Abbey

The top 5 is crowded with Jake’s creations, and few can compare to Doogal. Doogal has been the subject of more discussion than any other NPC I can remember. We respect him, but we fear his potential. Some want to kill him, while others see his value as an ally. Doogal has caused us more trouble than any other NPC on this list, and yet of anyone who has enjoyed “bad guy” status with PC’s, there are few characters we’ve wanted to kill less (with the notable exception of Dave, who kind of wants to kill everyone), and yet in spite of that, we’ve killed him twice. We’ve also spent hours of our lives discussing politics, playing concerts with, and just trying to outwit the guy. Plus, Doogal is the Doogie Howser of international commerce warfare. That concept alone has to be unique to the modern role-playing game.

4. Charles Fox, Created by: Jacob, Game(s) in which NPC appeared: Most of them.

Charles Fox is the epitome of the recurring character. He’s appeared in most of Jake’s games, and most of Chris’s games as well. He’s the frustrating, cryptic, elusive mysterious man in the forest, yet he’s witty, urbane, and quite possibly smarter than everyone else in this joint. In his purest form, Fox is the least fractured element of Jake’s personality when he’s running a game – a moment for him to step in and say, “guys, I know the players determine the direction of the game, but you really need a tour guide right now.” The funny thing is, a character like that (who inevitably leads you around by the nose to where the DM wants you to be) is typically boring, predictable, and makes the game less fun. Charles Fox not only contradicts those traits, he defies your expectations at every turn. That’s special.

3. Father Pious, Created by: Chris, Games in which NPC appeared: The DOPP

The DOPP were men of science. Father Pious was a man of faith. These two forces will butt heads, and the results will not be pretty – it’s that simple. That story has been told over and over, and the dichotomy works when you’re deeply involved in the story, but to an outside observer, it’s rote. Not Father Pious. Perhaps it was his real world inspiration (a priest we knew from our Catholic college days) that brought Father Pious so vividly to life, but I don’t think that really gets to the heart of the matter, because the player who got the most of out of Pious was the one of us who had never met the real guy. Once again, it was a vivid, imaginative, and detailed performance on the part of the DM that gave Father Pious that spark, and made him the enemy you most love to hate.

2. Nordogast, Created by: Joey, Game(s) in which NPC appeared: Con-Agra, Superheroes, Mouthus’ Journal, Serenity (infant cameo)

Nordogast was a true asshole, and you loved him for it. The key to Nordogast is that he was basically a PC – albeit a powerful PC with seemingly unlimited resources. It’s just that Nordogast was playing a different game than the one the players were involved in, and when he crossed paths with you, you were typically after the same MacGuffin. If you weren’t on opposing sides, however, Nordogast was the kind of guy you might like to sit down and have a drink with. In every game in which he has appeared, Nordogast has survived his first encounter with the PC’s (and always from the approach that he is a bad guy) by talking his way into their good graces. You know things will end badly. You know he is planning to screw you. You know you should just kill him now. But you can’t help yourself. It’s Nordogast.

1. Malus (Captain Evil), Created by: Jacob, Game(s) in which NPC appeared: Ravensfeast Trio, The Valley of the Fallen Stars, The Order of the Abbey

The first time PCs met Captain Evil, he was popping the head off of a 5th level cleric and marching towards a fight with a Vecna high-priest that promised to be so bad, the players opted to destroy the entire city in lieu of witnessing it. It would be easy to dismiss Captain Evil as a pile of cool stuff on a high-level warrior, but that would serve to underestimate the guy’s effect – the dude made our knees tremble no matter what level we were, and it was every inch attitude. A man who ate war, death, and destruction for breakfast, Captain Evil has seen and endured more mind-bending grief and torture than you or I could ever imagine. Even the admittedly ridiculous nickname we gave him way back at the beginning cannot mitigate the terror that comes with facing off with this guy. In his time, he has been associated with or appeared alongside some major baddies – Linus, the Horned King, Voltare, Visgoth, Asgaroth (Jake’s no slouch when it comes to scary-ass villains) – but if you were to ask us who’s the one guy we’re scared to fight? Look no further.

Honorable Mention: Celeron, Wyfierd (Galathian), Jeanette Tiso, Garam, Brown Tornado, Goldschmiddt, Won-Huong Lo, The Horned King

January 24 Game Notes

2010-01-29T13:30:00.000-08:00

Gameplay begins with the party on horseback riding towards the capital city of Illrea and the pass. As they approach the Illrean capital, they see very few people, wagons, or carts on the road. Within a few hundred yards of the city, however, they are surprised to see a cart riding full speed out of town, only to have the driver of the cart felled by arrows. Virgil approaches the cart and sees the dead man, along with a cart full of swag. Guards from the city, wearing chain mail that has been painted black (in an effort, it would seem, to emulate the look of the Illrean Rangers), arrive, identify the man as a looter, and tell the party that none are allowed in the city by order of the King of Illrea. Although bearing the authority to do so, the party chooses not to enter the city.

The boys make their way to the Pass, only to find the soldiers in complete disarray (think of the Continental Army in New Brunswick during the early stages of the American Revolution). Alarmed at what they are seeing, the party makes its way to the command tent, finding Lt. Halverson, a mid-ranking officer stationed in the command tent. The intoxicated Halverson indicates that Dravick (the new leader of the Illrean Rangers and the man the party came to see to deliver the news that Vain is alive) is the ultimate authority at the pass, and that he can be found in his tent. The boys head to Dravick’s tent, where they find him unconcerned with the lack of discipline at the camp, stating that the pass has not been attacked, and he does not anticipate that it will be anytime soon. He is unrepentant towards what the party views as his poor supervision of the troops, and goes so far as to suggest that if the party does not leave him to his work as he sees fit, he will have the boys “disappeared” as is the (seldom-used) custom of the Illrean Rangers’ black ops division. This nearly incites a fight, but the party thinks the better of it as Dravick is a senior member of the War Council, and on an equal level of authority with Guy, Virgil, and General Braddock.

The party relieves Dravick of his command pending a vote from the council, and places Lt. Halverson in charge, promoting him to captain and charging him with the task of returning order and combat ready-ness to the troops stationed at the pass. Meanwhile, the boys find an Illrean Ranger scout and ask him to spread the message among the Rangers that Vain is alive and what his whereabouts are. The Ranger agrees, and rides off.

Later, Virgil surprises Dravick with a Charm Person spell which allows him to question Dravick at length about his attitudes and actions in the war effort. Dravick is more or less compliant with Virgil’s questions, though he will not reveal critical details in the presence of the other party members, which leads the others to wait outside and contact the other members of the War Council with Virgil’s communicators. While Virgil and Dravick are alone (although the party sees and hears all things Virgil does through the benefits of Abbott Teris’ spell circle), Virgil’s questioning leads him to suspect that Dravick is an agent for the other side. By intimating that he is eager to switch sides himself (he presents the attitude that the war is a lost cause for the allies), Virgil is able to obtain concrete proof that Dravick is a spy. Communicating this new information to the War Council, Dravick is removed from his command and from the War Council, and sentenced to die as a traitor.

However, seeing an opportunity, the Council suggests that Dravick die as a martyr to the war effort, compelling the troops to fight for their former fallen commander. Virgil and Floyd concoct a plan disguise themselves as goblins and kill Dravick after Virgil and Dravick walk through camp publicly as friends (this last part is important as the troops had witnessed the original falling out between Dravick and the party).

That night, however, before the party’s plan can be put into action, Dravick is visited in his tent by a group of elite Rangers (the black ops) who bring a horribly disfigured body on a stretcher, but alive. The figure greets Dravick, who reacts with terror, and the elite Rangers bring in a Sphere of Annihilation, into which they throw the unfortunate former commander. The figure identifies himself as Vain to the party, and intimates that he will be returning to Luthia to c0nvalesce, his wounds being so terrible that magical healing cannot fix them.

After observing Halverson’s efforts to whip the troops at the Pass into shape, the party, satisfied, leaves and accompanies Vain to Luthia. Upon arriving in Luthia, they are greeted by a young man who is the spitting image of Vain, who identifies himself as Appollonus, and is in actuality, the re-incarnated Gorom. As Vain wishes his return to be kept under wraps until such time as he is ready to assume command, he suggests that Apollonus take Dravick’s place on the war council, an appointment with which the party concurs.

The party pays a visit to Erronius, the primary Church liason in Luthia to the war effort. They ask Erronius for more details on the End of Days prophesy, which Erronius gives them in full, although translated and roughly paraphrased. Unfortunately, the prophesy does not point to any good news, even an “and then,” but merely speaks of the fall of the church based upon a massive invasion from the east which is led by the Warlord (Graxx). Erronius elaborates that due to this prophesy, Benedict has relocated to Dreia, as he believes that this will be where he is most needed when the prophesy comes to full fruition.

The party then visits Revan, where they speak to him about the deceased Seeker Merrill, who’s focus was Illithids, curious to know if any of Merrill’s notes on the subject had survived. Revan indicates that they had, but that the only person who would have access to them would be Garam, who is still in hiding from the Fist of Set. The party attempts to suss out where Garam would be hiding from the Fist of Set, and determine that the place he would consider them least likely to search for him would be the Temple of Set in Issa. The party calls Garam on his communicator, asking him to send a sign if he is there, which he does. The party then considers a plan to retrieve Garam by teleporting there to get him, but even with the help of other arcane spellcasters, the likelihood of a successful teleport into the temple without Virgil having ever seen it is too much. The boys then send Garam a message explaining their situation and asking for his assistance, although they do not expect him to respond, as he has been unresponsive for so long. They are therefore very surprised when he does arrive, electing to help the group find the answers to their questions.

The party considers the motivations that the goblins would have for the war, which leads Garam to reveal The Central Prophesy, or the key prophesy concerning the children born in the Year of the Ram, specifically, the year that the twelve (Floyd, Guy, Virgil, Zarin, Eric, Delphin, Brix, Graxx, Luth, Doogal, and the elf twins) were born. The Central Prophesy states that the birth of the twelve in the Year of the Ram points to a countdown in which a new god will ascend from the mortal realm, and the death of one born during the Year of the Ram (though not necessarily of the twelve, which brings several people back into play, notably Visgoth, Harves Raeth, the grandmother of the elf twins, and more). This concurs with what Garam knows about Illithids in that they believe that their chief deity, who is not fully vested with the powers of a god, is buried in a cavern somewhere below the Cracked Flagon. Furthermore, it corroborates the story of Visgoth, who seemed to be interested acquiring a full Existence Key (which he told the party were pieces of his soul) in order to enter the upper planes and challenge the gods directly – where, if victorious, he could take the place of the one he were to fell. This creates a situation in which the boys are forced to consider the many possibilities of those who might be aware of the Central Prophesy, and who might be vying for a spot at godhood (a selection of the party even considers candidacy for themselves).

Among the potential candidates would be Moloch, who is still quarantined in the capital of the Meliotic Empire along with his subjects. The scenario of Moloch ascending to godhood prompts Floyd to ask Scaramouche to go and petition his fellow good dragons in an effort to coerce them to join the fight. Scaramouche contends that the revelation of good dragons will certainly bring out the bad as well, but he will petition them nonetheless in an effort to see if the metallics will at least lend their knowledge and expertise to the party. Meanwhile, the party contacts Abbott Teris to ask him why he had not shared the Central Prophesy with them, though he explains that he did not out of fear that it would create a negative attitude in the boys - that they would either eschew their heroic responsibilities or possibly head down a path towards irrevocable evil.

In light of these many considerations, and the implications it has for the war and the future of the continent, the party contemplates its next move.

The Adventures of Floyd Fiftynames: By the Numbers

2010-01-22T08:33:00.000-08:00

Here are some numbers regarding the game to this point:

There have been, by my estimation, 93 sessions (42 of which are now represented on this blog as either game notes or puppet musical) of this game.

The first session commenced on Sunday, August 26, 2007 (2 years, 4 months, and 28 days ago).

There have been a total of 11 player characters in this game (12 if you count Hirsute MacGuffin and Chris Tennison as different characters) played by 9 players.

There have been no fewer than 350 distinct NPCs.

There are 231 pages of Floyd's puppet musical written.

Any other mind-boggling numbers out there?

Sessions XXII - XXIV: Floyd's Puppet Theatre Interpretation

2010-01-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

The Order of the Abbey, Part Five: We’re Taking This Show on the Road

Act II

Curtain opens on a road in Gortia. In the distance there is a large cave. In front of the cave is a sign that says “Shortcut for Adventurers!” written in blood. Vultures feed on bones just outside the mouth of the cave. Near the road is a sign which reads, “Welcome to Gortia.”

GUY, BRIX, CHRIS TENNISON, VIRGIL, and FLOYD enter on foot.

FLOYD:
Sings
Oh, where are we bound for?
CHRIS TENNISON: Illrea!
FLOYD: What will we do there?
CHRIS TENNISON: I don’t know!
FLOYD: Why are we going?
CHRIS TENNISON: To meet some guys!
FLOYD & CHRIS TENNISON: Ill-re-a!
BRIX:
Spoken
You guys know we’re going to Illrea to meet the head of the Illrean Rangers, right?
FLOYD: Well, we do now.
BRIX: While we were in Larst, Virgil met a ranger who invited him to Illrea to meet the head of his organization.
CHRIS TENNISON: Why?
VIRGIL: Well, presumably because we’re up and coming adventurers, whose exploits are starting to be known far and wide.
FLOYD: You’re welcome.
VIRGIL: Among other things, we fought and defeated Doogal, took on the evil cultists of Krissk, explored Scar Canyon, purged the Tower of the Broken Moon, conquered the Tower of Puzzles, released the ghost from the Dagda Bridge, and escaped from the clutches of Cardinal Nikolai and killed his servant Faust, thereby avenging the death of our father figure, Abbott Teris.
GUY: Although I can’t help but feel there’s some major exploit that we’re forgetting.
FLOYD: Don’t worry. I’m sure it will come back to bite us in the ass eventually.
CHRIS TENNISON: Hey, look! A cave!
GUY: And it says shortcut for adventurers! We should use it.
BRIX: But what of the bones of these dead adventurers that lie strewn about the mouth of the cave?
GUY: I’m sure they’re unrelated.
VIRGIL: Says the axe-man!
GUY: What are you implying?
VIRGIL: I’m saying, Brix and I, we’re the ones that get paid to think around here! Let us decide how safe this cave shortcut is!
GUY: Oh, by all means, great thinker. Make up your mind!
FLOYD: Is anyone interested in my opinion?
GUY: No!
VIRGIL: Not really.
FLOYD (to the audience) We ended up taking the cave shortcut.

Interior of the cave flies in. It is spooky and scary.

GUY: This may have been a bad idea.
VIRGIL: I told you!
GUY: Now, Virgil. Don’t become the sort of person who runs from danger.
VIRGIL: If I ever become that sort of person, Floyd has my permission to humiliate me in his puppet musical.
FLOYD: Meta!

The cave starts to grow darker.

BRIX: I have a bad feeling about this, fellas.
VIRGIL: Is your cleric-sense tingling?
BRIX: While I’m pretty sure that doesn’t exist, you’re not far off, Virgil. I’m a dwarf, and this is the first time I’ve ever felt uneasy and uncomfortable about being underground.
FLOYD: But you weren’t raise underground, you were raised at the Abbey.
BRIX: It’s in my blood, Floyd.
FLOYD: Now you’re just allowing yourself to be stereotyped.
BRIX: Oh, really? And how many names do you have, o wearer of silly hats?
FLOYD: I withdraw my objection.

A glowing circle appears at the edge of the stage. The party approacheth.

CHRIS TENNISON: Are glowing circles ever good?
VIRGIL: Sometimes.
CHRIS TENNISON: So how do we find out?
BRIX: Looks to be some writing around the edge of the circle, but it’s too dim to read.

Suddenly, a disembodied voice chimes in from the other side of the circle.

VOICE: It’s a portal.
BRIX: Oh, thanks. Wait, what?

Weapons are drawn.

VIRGIL: A portal to where?
VOICE: Come in and you’ll find out.
CHRIS TENNISON: Um, thank you, but no.
VOICE: What’s the matter, Chris Tennison? Afraid of what you’ll find here?
CHRIS TENNISON: How- how do you know my name? I’m pretty sure even my parents don’t know I was reincarnated.
VOICE: I’ve been watching you. I’ve been watching you all.
GUY: Well, creepy as that may be, I think it’s time for us to go.
VOICE: Oh, no, Guy Axefury. Do not go. Stay, and feast your eyes upon the horrors of Hell!

The portal glows with intense brightness. Much screaming and running as the party exits hurriedly.

GUY: Run, run, run!
BRIX: Which way?
FLOYD: Eeny, meany, miney, Floyd! This way!

The party turns a corner, and exits. The cave flies out, revealing a hillside on the other side of the entrance to the cave. Nearby, a village square. Several peasants are having a party, with lots of cranberries, squash, cabbage, and pumpkin, as well as a large cooked fowl. There is dancing around a big campfire. Music from a fiddle an fife.

The party crests the hill running at full speed. This catches the attention of the villagers, who watch in wonder as the party runs down the hill, through their small village, and exits the other side. The villagers look at each other quizzically. Suddenly, Floyd re-enters, followed by the others.

VIRGIL: Um, Floyd? Why did you stop running?
FLOYD: Sorry, boys. I’ve got to get some of this pregnant.

A fair maiden approaches Floyd and hands him a mug.

MAIDEN: Welcome to our village, handsome gnome!
FLOYD: Welcome to Floyd’s tally sheet, fair maiden!

FLOYD pulls out a piece of paper on which is scrawled a list.

What’s today’s date? I’ll need to know that for future paternity suits.
MAIDEN: Why, everyone knows it’s the middle of high autumn!
GUY: Are you kidding me? I thought it was winter!
MAIDEN: It would be most peculiar if we had our autumnal equinox festival in the winter, slightly less attractive gnome.
VIRGIL: The cave…
BRIX: High autumn?
GUY: (looking at Floyd’s paper) Tally sheet…
GUY, VIRGIL, and BRIX: (together) The Harvester!
VIRGIL: Holy shit!
BRIX: We have to find him!
GUY: When is the date of the equinox?
MAIDEN: Ten nights from now.
VIRGIL: Jonathan dog crap!
BRIX: This is bad, this is bad.

FLOYD and the MAIDEN exit surreptitiously.

We don’t even know where we’re going to find him.

Suddenly a man steps forward from the villagers. It is DR. ETHAN.

ETHAN: Actually, we do.
CHRIS TENNISON: Dr. Ethan! Well, knee me in the crotch!

An oafish looking villager obliges.

Oomph! (Weakly) What gives?
ETHAN: Garam and I have worked out that the Harvester will begin his rampage at the Valley of the Fallen Stars, just east of centaur run, on the other side of the Bloody Crag, which incidentally, is the only way to get to the valley.
GUY: Through the crag?
ETHAN: That’s right.
GUY: Well, we could use the fighting practice. Come on, gang.
ETHAN: Garam and I will meet you there. We just need to talk one other person into joining us.

ETHAN exits. FLOYD re-enters, adjusting his hat, followed by the MAIDEN.

MAIDEN: Floyd! Will I ever see you again?
FLOYD: Sure thing, random village maiden. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to save the world.
GUY: Ready?
FLOYD: Born ready.
BRIX: To the crag?
ALL: To the crag!

The party exits. The villagers join hands and dance around the fire as music resumes.

VILLAGERS:
Singing
Hail, Equinox
Mysterious night
The moon and stars
That glow so bright
Call to the spirits
Who take flight
And we revel
Until we see the light!

The campfire and the villagers fly out, revealing the interior of the Bloody Crag, a series of cliffs, caverns, and mountainside that serves as a perfectly defensible fortress. Within, a group of GNOLLS, ORCS, and other assorted low-level baddies are engaged in a battle with the party. The good guys are winning, but they’re sweating.

VIRGIL: Why are these gnolls so adamant about defending their lives?

VIRGIL lets loose an arrow, which flies smack dab into the middle of a GNOLL WARRIOR. The arrow lets loose an electric current, and the GNOLL falls dead.

GUY: I know, right? All we did was invade their fortress and only homestead.

GUY cleaves through two ORCS.

BRIX: Some creatures simply can’t appreciate hero work.

BRIX casts a spell and a column of fire engulfs several enemies.

CHRIS TENNISON: Those who live through this carnage will surely thank us someday.

CHRIS TENNISON swings his staff at an orc, but misses wildly and falls down.

FLOYD: Don’t worry. I’ll paint a flattering picture of the entire episode.

FLOYD stabs a gnoll in the eye. He falls to the ground, convulsing with shock.

A-STAGE closes. B-STAGE opens to reveal a gorgeous valley, surrounded by snowy mountain peaks. Above, the stars shine with an intense brightness. Below, a valley floor made of pure obsidian, the surface of which is so reflective that the stars seem to be an infinite mirror into the abyss within the face of the rock. GARAM, GOLDSCHMIDDT, and DR. ETHAN stand near the entrance from the mouth of the crag. FLOYD, BRIX, CHRIS TENNISON, GUY, and VIRGIL emerge, bloodied, bruised, but victorious. BRIX immediately begins healing the party.

CHRIS TENNISON: Goldschmiddt? Ethan, Garam? How’d you guys get over here?
GARAM: We came through the crag, same as you.
VIRGIL: Then why were there so many gnolls and orcs in there?
ETHAN: Well, we told them that we needed to get over to this side, and they let us through.
CHRIS TENNISON: Really?
GARAM: Yes. It’s amazing what folks’ll do for you when you ask them nicely.
VIRGIL: Hmm. Imagine that.
GUY: So, what’s the plan?
GOLDSCHMIDDT: The Harvester cannot be harmed by normal means –
GUY: What’re you calling normal, Goldschmiddt? I mean, have you seen my axe?
GOLDSCHMIDDT: Your axe will be useless here. You must use the weapon I am providing to you.
GUY: Very well. Bestow upon me your mighty weapon.

GOLDSCHMIDDT reaches into his boot and pulls out a small dagger.

GOLDSCHMIDDT: There you go.
GUY: I am unenthused.
GOLDSCHMIDDT: Listen to me! This is the only weapon known that will harm the Harvester.
FLOYD: Where did you get it?
GOLDSCHMIDDT: I had to send away for it. Guy, you’re the most competent warrior in hand-to-hand combat, so you’ll be in charge of stabbing him. The rest of you will have to keep him off balance.
FLOYD: Easy enough.
VIRGIL: Oh, really? You think so?
FLOYD: Sure. Watch.

A WIND sweeps though the valley, followed by a faint rustle. Then, from out of nowhere, THE HARVESTER leaps onto stage and falls into a combat crouch.

FLOYD: You’re late. The Harvest was supposed to start three days ago.

Confused, THE HARVESTER checks his watch, which apparently keeps track of the date.

Now!

The party leaps into action. CHRIS TENNISON charges, but slips and falls. BRIX puts up a wind wall between THE HARVESTER and ETHAN, GARAM, and GOLDSCHMIDDT. VIRGIL begins to cast. FLOYD clicks his heels, and winds up behind THE HARVESTER.

Flanked!
GUY: That’s all I need.

GUY charges at THE HARVESTER with the dagger. THE HARVESTER proves to be tremendously agile, dodging and parrying GUY’s thrusts, though GUY and FLOYD manage to stay with THE HARVESTER every step of the way. THE HARVESTER backs around, leaping off BRIX’s wind wall and swinging with his sickle at VIRGIL, who barely gets out of the way in time. VIRGIL, for his part, knocks THE HARVESTER around with a couple of magic missiles. THE HARVESTER recovers, and spin fakes FLOYD, effectively taking away the flanking position GUY had. THE HARVESTER then takes a couple of steps backward, preparing to fully engage his combat skills onto GUY.

However, he doesn’t realize that he has backed right into CHRIS TENNISON, who was slow to get up from his initial trip. CHRIS TENNISON, thinking quickly, holds out his staff below THE HARVESTER’s knees. Caught completely off guard, THE HARVESTER trips backwards, falling flat on the ground. In an instant, GUY is there. In a flash, he stabs THE HARVESTER three times: once in the chest, once in the neck, and a third time in the abdomen. As he pulls the knife away, he rips a large amount of fabric on THE HARVESTER’s tunic, revealing nothing underneath. THE HARVESTER’s scarecrow-like body contorts, then there is a flash of light, and the clothes fall to the ground lifeless before quickly crumbling into dust.

Stunned, the party looks around at each other, and quickly begins to celebrate!

VIRGIL: We did it!
FLOYD: We saved the world!
GOLDSCHIMDDT: Don’t get too excited – you’ve defeated The Harvester, but you haven’t destroyed him.
BRIX: What are you talking about?
ETHAN: This is The Betrayer you’re talking about, boys – you don’t just get rid of him. Defeating The Harvester returns him to his original position, hanging from the Old Mill. He can’t harm anyone from there, unless someone releases him again.
FLOYD: Which you’re saying someone could do.
ETHAN: That’s what I’m saying, yes.
BRIX: Well, that sucks donkey balls! I can’t believe we worked so hard to destroy a great evil, only to put it back at a flimsy risk of being re-released into the world!
ETHAN: What can I say? Such is the nature of evil, boys. You can’t completely eradicate it. You can only hope to contain it. The struggle is eternal.
VIRGIL: Still, this feels tremendously anti-climactic. We don’t even get a reward out of this.
GARAM: Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that.

GARAM, ETHAN, and GOLDSCHMIDDT exit. From within:

ETHAN: Jesus Jones! Who killed all the gnolls in here?
VIRGIL: (to the rest of the group) What in the flip florn flap is Garam talking about?

Suddenly, a light shines, and a small deck of cards appears. A long pause as the party stares at the artifact before them. Finally:

CHRIS TENNISON: Ooooooh.

Curtain Closes

END OF ACT II

January 17 Game Notes

2010-01-22T07:00:00.000-08:00

Gameplay begins with the party awaiting their next assignment. The gang gets an intelligence report from Bart, who informs them that Braddock has been promoted from colonel to general in order to distinguish him as the commanding officer of the war. Braddock is currently seeing to a court martial trial for Colonel Dudemont, although Bart is unaware of what the charges are. Bart provides a brief profile of the three Nemian commanders involved in the war – Braddock, Dudemont, and Abrams. At the risk of oversimplification, he describes Braddock as the most cautious and tactical, Dudemont as the most troop-friendly, and Abrams as the most fearless, and the one most likely to employ non-traditional military tactics.

In addition, intelligence reveals that it has produced the first visual confirmation of The Warlord. He is noted as being a hulking monstrosity (dispelling any notions that he may closely resemble Brixmore) with multiple appendages and a frightening visage. He is flanked by an honor guard twice the size of the special task force the party has previously fought at the northern front.

Antsy for a project, many of the party members express a desire to be put to work more quickly than Braddock seems to be calling for them. The party travels to the headquarters for the northern front, where Floyd and Brixmore begin morale work with the troops and Guy and Virgil get an appraisal of the current situation. After learning that there is no current special task force work for them, Floyd opts to stay with the soldiers and provide confidence and courage, while Brix, Guy, and Virgil do some traveling.

Virgil returns to the college in Dreia to work on his spells and check on the status of current projects, such as the challenge grant and the development of the new communication devices. While there, he is approached by a group of students who wish to travel to the front to become more directly involved in the war effort.

Guy and Brix head to Doovin’s to ask him, as the only person they know of who can cast True Ressurection to see if he can bring Vain back from the dead. After preparing and undergoing the arduous task of casting the resurrection spell, Doovin emerges from his house to reveal that Vain cannot be resurrected, since he is not dead. Vain turns out to be alive, albeit trapped in the belly of one of the Cathonic beasts in the ruins of the Tutian capital.

Floyd, meanwhile, is approached by Braddock, who has a new mission for the party. The rest are summoned back, whereupon Braddock explains that he has an espionage opportunity on the supply caravan for the goblin army. Having gotten one of their carts, they will send the party into enemy territory to scout the devastation and state of the other side. Being possessed of good bluff and diplomacy skills, Guy and Floyd ride at the forefront of the cart, while Brix and Virgil guard the rear. The party places its weaponry into a box so as not to give themselves away.

The gang rides to the Tutian capital, which they find in complete ruins. In the center of the city, a truly monstrous beast sits, which the party determines to be the Cathonic beast that has swallowed Vain. The party rides along the outskirts of the city, until a soldier approaches them to ask them why they are off course. As a result of being so close to such unholy evil, the sentience of Guy’s axe kicks in, and it attempts to destroy the soldier. Guy manages to grab the axe before it gets away from him, but the damage is done. The soldier recognizes the group as the Order of the Abbey, and the party is outed. In an attempt to kill as many goblins and their brood as possible, the party draws the Apocalypse Sword – Guy holding it as Virgil, Brix, and Floyd added support to prevent it from being disarmed. The sword, as expected, rained down unbelievable destruction for two full rounds, at which point the Cathonic beast took notice and once of its tendrils reached out for the sword. Seeing this, the party quickly sheathed the sword and Brix’s Word of Recall returned them to the front command station. There, they reported to Braddock what they had seen. From the command station, the party could see the storm clouds that the sword created dissipating. The party comes to the conclusion that they are too recognizable for espionage work without significant efforts being taken to disguise them in the future. Braddock apparently agrees, because he further diminishes the party’s anonymity by assigning them a standard bearer – Axle, who formerly served as the party’s page back at the Council of Ellicor in Arimathea. Axle’s purpose will be to let the troops and commanders know where the party is in battle at all times. The party welcomes Axle into the fold, and awaits their next assignment.

End of Session.

January 10 Game Notes

2010-01-12T09:43:00.000-08:00

Gameplay begins as Guy arrives from Luthia to find Virgil, Floyd, Axe, and Brix at the drop-off point in Silar for the bridge destruction project. Three weeks have past since the initial scouting of the bridge. After regaling Guy with the story of the last session, the party heads for the bridge, to discover that it has been destroyed. The fresh remains of a monumental battle lay strewn about. The party happens upon the body of a warrior, and Brix resurrects him to discover that he is a member of the Order of the Serpent. The warrior explains that his party had been sent by Colonel Braddock after no word came back from the Abbey party. The Order of the Serpent (sans Pskenart, who had since left the group to focus on the rebuilding of Larst) prevailed, though all of the party died in the process (the destruction of the bridge itself was ultimately the result of a suicide run by Bricka, whose body could not be found and is presumed dead). The party recovers one other body, a spellcaster, but he declines the opportunity to return to the land of the living. The party and the warrior return to Luthia.

In Luthia, Colonel Braddock welcomes the boys and returns them to the business of conducting the war. Reports that the Goblin Army has pushed significantly farther down through Tutia and into Illrea is disheartening, though the party is relieved to hear that the Southern front is holding its ground until the Northern unit pushes to a certain point – presumably the mountain pass between Illrea and the former Bodian Protectorates. Colonel Braddock announces a strategy to push the Northern front back into Tutia, then into Jottenheim. He also reveals that he has ordered the druids to dig trenches in two fallback areas, with the final fallback in the Western Twilight Lands. Braddock’s demeanor strikes Floyd as gloomy and seems pre-disposed to defeat, but when confronted with such an impression, Braddock expresses a hope that the Goblins will stop their inexorable march westward when a significant show of force is displayed.

Braddock asks the party to convince the King of Illrea to order an evacuation, an action the King is reluctant to take because of his perception of Illrea’s symbolic importance to Western Aggravail. Floyd and the party make an impassioned plea to the king, persuading him that the preservation of Illrea’s people and it’s records are a preservation of Illrea itself, far more than any plot of land would be. The king agrees to an evacuation of the city on the condition that a garrison is placed therein and guarantee that an attempt will be made to hold the city. Given Ilrea’s proximity to the pass, and it’s perception as a slowing point for the Goblin Army should they get close to the pass, this matter is easily agreed to.

With the evacuation underway, Braddock asks to send the party to the Tutian/Illrean front to provide aid and support to the battle. The party agrees, but expresses a desire to visit Dreia first on a mission to recruit the wizard’s university into service for the Western Aggravail army. Needing to go quickly, the party takes a chance on Virgil’s Teleport, which goes off without a problem. In anticipation of a showdown with Mason, Virgil and Floyd head for the wizard university, while Brix, Axe, and Guy travel to Mason’s office.

In a surprise, Axe, Brix, and Guy find Mason to be somewhat agreeable to the notion that the wizard college be put to the task of supplying the war effort with magical technology. Mason expresses his desire to keep The Freelands strong and safe, and does so in such a way that for the first time in a long time, Guy and Mason understand each other. Then there may have been some kissing (unconfirmed, Floyd was not there to witness it).

Meanwhile, Floyd and Virgil arrive at the college and call an emergency meeting of the regents, who listen to Virgil’s plea, which falls on more or less deaf ears. The regents, absorbed in their own selfish desires, see no reason to aid the war effort without significant monetary gain for the college, even going so far as to suggest the party give up a good deal of their own personal equipment in exchange for creating a small number of communication devices that would aid the coordination of the war effort. Finally, a tenuous deal is reached. However, before they leave the university, Virgil heads to the university commons and declares a challenge grant – thirty thousand gold pieces in increments of five thousand for six ideas / magical developments that will advance the war effort. Impressed, Guy matches the challenge grant with thirty thousand of his own. One student comes forward with an idea that is immediately awarded – an advanced spell technique that allows mages to combine their spells for increased effect.

Using Brix’s word of recall, the party returns to Luthia, and is immediately transported to the Tutian front. They arrive to find a massive battle in progress. Amid explosions and catapulting boulders, the party makes its way to the command tent, where they find Colonel Dudemont, who sends them to confront the Goblin Army’s primary strike force, a group of nineteen ogres and a troll who punch through areas to gain the infantry access.

The party preps, heads out, and encounters the strike force. They are tremendously well-trained, and present a considerable challenge to the party. During the battle, Axe is killed, though ultimately, the party prevails. In addition, the through means of their magic (Prayer and Bless from Brix, Mass Enlarge Person from Virgil) and Floyd’s singing, the W. Aggravail army (primarily composed of trained soldiers from Nemia), find new life, and significantly push back the goblin forces. Although the victory is small, and hard-won, there is a tremendous boost in morale and confidence that comes with this win.

Following the battle, Axe is resurrected by Brix, and although glad to be returned to life, the experience is such that he requests a temporary leave from battle. Axe heads to Larst to join Pskenart in the rebuilding of Larst. The party expresses their gratitude to Axe for traveling with them so far, and count him among the most valuable of their allies.

Session XXI: Floyd's Puppet Theatre Interpretation

2010-01-04T15:17:00.000-08:00

The Order of the Abbey, Part Five: We’re Taking This Show on the Road

Act I

Curtain opens on a ship in the middle of the ocean. SAILORS move sails and do other sailor-ish things. A CAPTAIN is at the wheel.

SAILORS:
Singing:
Longview girls, they have no combs,
Heave away, heave away,
They comb their hair with codfish bones,
We are bound for the Basilica!

Longview boys, they have no brains,
Heave away, heave away,
Their underpants have doody stains,
We are bound for the Basilica!

Heave away, my bully-bully boys,
Heave away, heave away,
Heave away and don’t you make a noise,
We are bound for the Basilica!

FLOYD enters from below deck, wearing a tri-corn hat with several large feathers.

FLOYD:
Spoken:
You call that a sea chanty?

FLOYD is followed by VIRGIL, GUY, BRIX, and CHRIS TENNISON. They are dressed in sailor slops, and seem ready for work.

Try this one.
Sings:
Heave, ho, heave ho!
Raise the sail, we’re on our way
Batten down the hatches and don’t be slow
We are bound to get to Larst someday!

The SAILORS glare at him.

It’s called panache. Get used to it.

The CAPTAIN approaches FLOYD.

CAPTAIN: Mr. Fiftynames –
FLOYD: Aye, aye, Cap’n?
CAPTAIN: You boys came aboard my ship from the Arimathean town of Longview –
FLOYD: That is where we were.
CAPTAIN: You agreed to work for your passage to Larst.
FLOYD: And that’s where we’re going.
CAPTAIN: Now, your friends over there, they are dressed for work, and they seem to be doing a yeoman’s job of keeping this ship in tip top shape.
FLOYD: Tip shop what now?
CAPTAIN: You, on the other hand, have done nothing but criticize my crew since you came aboard! When do ye expect to start earnin’ yer keep here, Mr. Fiftynames?
FLOYD: Captain, don’t worry. I see where your confusion lies. The fact is, my traveling companions are doing yeoman’s work, and with good reason. They’re yeomen.
CHRIS TENNISON: Can we throw him overboard?
GUY: No, no… let him finish, and the crew will do that for us.
FLOYD: I, on the other hand, am no laborer, as my well-manicured cuticles will attest. On the other hand, I don’t expect my friends here to pick up my slack, which is why I’ve created a very important job for myself.
CAPTAIN: And what is that, exactly?
FLOYD: I’m the ship’s entertainment officer!
CAPTAIN: We don’t NEED an entertainment officer, Mr. Fiftynames.
FLOYD: Maybe you don’t think you do – but this little ditty will convince you.
Sings:
When rough waters rock your boat,
And you start to feelin’ ill,
Just remember this here tune –
And the next time that you’re
Green around the gills
You won’t feel the urge to swoon!

Smooth sailin’,
Oh, smooth sailin’
Across the great big sea,
Whether you’re travelin’
Or gone whalin’
You can travel comfortably!

We left Longview
With some cargo
Bound for another count-u-ree,
And when we get there,
Guy has promised
To buy Virgil a new steed!

VIRGIL:
Spoken:
And don’t forget that, either!
GUY: Relax. We knew we were headed to Larst, and we couldn’t very well take our horses on the ship with us.
CHRIS TENNISON: Plus, you kind of overreacted to the news that we couldn’t take them.
VIRGIL: How so?
BRIX: You set Longview on fire!
VIRGIL: Well, I was mad.
FLOYD:
Sings:
Smooth sailin’
Oh, smooth sailin’
Across the great big sea,
Whether you’re travelin’
Or gone whalin’
You can travel comfortably!

Button. Spoken:

CAPTAIN: Put on some slops, and swab the damn deck.
FLOYD: Fine.

Suddenly, the ship starts to shake violently. Waves splash over the side. A SAILOR falls overboard.

SAILOR: This is my only line! Ahh!
FLOYD: Damn. If it’s Lily the Mer-Gnome, tell her I’m not here!

FLOYD hides under a crate. An enormous SEA GIANT stands up in the water. As deep as the ocean is, he is only waist-deep.

BRIX: Oh, this isn’t good.
GIANT: I feel my kindred stirring.

He looks down at the party.

Beware Strom.

The SEA GIANT disappears back into the water. Everything returns to normal.

GUY: Strom? Who the hell is that?
CHRIS TENNISON: Something tells me we’re bound to find out.

BRIX approaches FLOYD’s hiding space.

BRIX: It’s safe to come out now, Floyd.
FLOYD: What was it?
BRIX: A giant, telling us to beware Strom.
FLOYD: Strom? The legendary giant lord who nearly conquered Western Aggravail once upon a time?

GUY, VIRGIL, BRIX, and CHRIS TENNISON look at FLOYD.

BRIX: Come again?
FLOYD: Yeah, it happened a long time ago. Strom was this big evil Frost Giant, and he nearly conquered the world, but he was beaten by a resistance of men, led by some guy with a weapon called Stromsbane.
CHRIS TENNISON: How do you know that?
FLOYD: You pick things up playing taverns and swapping stories. Every now and then, I tend to know something about a random topic.
GUY: Well, well. Who knew that this random…
FLOYD: Bardic knowledge?
GUY: Yeah – that it would come in handy?
FLOYD: I’m full of surprises.
CAPTAIN: I’m so fucking serious!! Get to work!

The boys pick up mops and start swabbing. From the crow’s nest:

SAILOR #2: Larst, ho!

A cheer erupts from the ship. Larst glides into the background, a multi-level city on a mountain. At the top level, a beautiful ivory and gold Basilica. The party stands in awe.

FLOYD: Wow!
BRIX: Opulence. Peh.
VIRGIL: Ooh! I’ll bet that they have jewel encrusted horses here.

The boat docks, and the boys get off the ship. The ship flies out, replaced by the streets of the city.

GUY: Well, well. I guess the first thing we should do is –
VIRGIL: Horse. Now.
GUY: What? Oh, yeah…

GUY walks over to nearby tent, purchases a toy horse, and gives it to VIRGIL.

Happy?

VIRGIL seethes.

CHRIS TENNISON: Letter of the law, my friend.

A GNOME enters.

GNOME: Hello!
FLOYD: Hello, fellow gnome! What up?
GNOME: I couldn’t help but notice you boys are new to the city. Looking for a way up to the top?
CHRIS TENNISON: You betcha!
GNOME: How would you like to take a ride on my hot air balloon?

VIRGIL, FLOYD, BRIX, and CHRIS TENNISON look at each other with glee.

ALL: HOT AIR BALLOON?!

Then, playing it cool.

FLOYD: Sure, I guess.
GNOME: Hop in!
Sings
Come fly away with me
On a journey across the sky
When the ground is beneath your feet
The stars can only be in your eyes
But when you bid adieu
To the earth below you
And rapturously take to the air -
it’s a white knuckle rush
as your face becomes flush
and you feel… different
than you were over there.

A Hot Air Balloon flys in and lands at the boys’s feet. They get in, joined by the GNOME. The balloon takes off, and we find ourselves in the sky. Spoken:

VIRGIL: Whee! Flying is awesome!
FLOYD: Boy, it’s high up!
GUY: Not scared, are you Floyd?
FLOYD: Me? Please. I can cast feather fall. I’d be more worried if I were the iron dwarf over there.
BRIX: Eh – at least it’ll deaden the fall.
GNOME:
Sings
Come fly away with me
On a journey across the sky
When the ground is beneath your feet
The stars can only be in your eyes
But when you bid adieu
To the earth below you
And rapturously take to the air -
it’s a white knuckle rush
as your face becomes flush
and you feel… different
than you were over there.

The balloon lands on the top level. The Basilica looms large in the distance. Spoken:

GNOME: Here we are!
VIRGIL: Thanks!
GNOME: Don’t mention it. That’ll be one big bag of gold, please.

Stunned silence.

CHRIS TENNISON: A… a whole big bag?
GNOME: That’s right.

FLOYD reluctantly hands over a big bag of gold, taking one gold piece out in the process.

FLOYD: That’s for the bag.

HE pockets the gold piece.

GNOME: Pleasure doing business with you chumps.
BRIX: Chumps?
GNOME: That is to say – no, I was happy with it the first time.

The hot air balloon takes off. A GIRL in a gingham dress runs out.

GIRL: Oh! ! Come back! Don’t go without me! Please come back!
GNOME: I can’t come back! I don’t know how it works! Goodbye folks!

And the GNOME is gone.

GIRL: Oh! How am I ever going to get back to Kansas now?

The GIRL looks hopefully at the party. THEY stare back, blankly.

VIRGIL: Um, we should go.
CHRIS TENNISON: Yeah. See ya!

The PARTY exits as the GIRL and her DOG (that’s right) look after them. A-STAGE closes. B-STAGE opens to reveal the PARTY sitting at a booth in a restaurant called “The Boar’s Head,” a fancy place. The party sits on one side of the booth, while a gentleman named MERRILL sits on the other side. A large feast is upon the table, and MERRILL eats hungrily.

MERRILL: So, you got swindled, huh?
GUY: You might say that.
MERRILL: Yeah, the mark-ups here in Larst are pretty high. You want a better deal? Go to the Bar With No Name.
VIRGIL: How are we supposed to find a bar with no name?
MERRILL: That is the name?
CHRIS TENNISON: What?
MERRILL: The name of the bar.
BRIX: The Bar with No Name.
MERRILL: That’s right.
FLOYD: But how can it be the name of the bar if it’s a bar with no name?
MERRILL: I… never mind, just find it –
VIRGIL: But how –
MERRILL: Shut up! I’m trying to tell you where you can get a good deal on magic items.
GUY: Well, let me tell you, Merrill, who is a member of the seekers, the same organization that Ethan and Garam belong to - we really appreciate your help.
FLOYD: (to Guy, sotto voce) Nice summation.
GUY: I feel so dirty.

The party gets up to leave.

CHRIS TENNISON: See you soon!
MERRILL: Doubt it.

B-STAGE closes. A-STAGE opens to reveal a darkened bar room with a handful of inhabitants, every one of whom look like an adventurer. The PARTY enters.

FLOYD: Well, this is the place.

An ILLREAN RANGER enters, approaches VIRGIL.

RANGER: Excuse me –
BRIX: Oh, no! No thank you, sir. We know all about the goblins.
RANGER: - Okay. Are you Virgil Deathbow?
VIRGIL: I sure am.
RANGER: I’d like to talk to you about you becoming a member of the Illrean Rangers.
VIRGIL: Nifty!

VIRGIL and the RANGER go off to a corner to talk. The rest of the party approaches an ELF at the bar with a big bag that says, “Stuff!”

CHRIS TENNISON: That’s quite a bag of stuff you got there.
ELF: You like what you see?
CHRIS TENNISON: Indeed I do.
BRIX: You selling any of it?
ELF: Mayhaps.
CHRIS TENNISON: Well, ooh-la ti-da.
ELF: What’cha in the market for?

The PARTY begins conversing with the ELF. The door opens, and JARROD enters. He does not see the gang.

FLOYD: Hey, Guy.
GUY: What’s up, Floyd?
FLOYD: Isn’t that Jarrod?
GUY: You know, I think it is.
FLOYD: The same Jarrod who spys on us through an arcane mark he secretly placed on our arm?
GUY: That’s him. We should lay low and see what he’s up to.

But it’s too late. FLOYD calls out to JARROD.

FLOYD: Hey, Jarrod!

JARROD turns, surprised.

What’s the big idea, pal? You like to play peeping tom?
JARROD: What are you little twerps doing here?
FLOYD: You oughta know, shouldn’t you?
JARROD: Look, I don’t have time for your petty concerns and problems, boys. I’ve got actual important work to do.
GUY: We’re petty to you?
FLOYD: If that’s the case, why did you go to the trouble of programming channels onto our forearms?
JARROD: Screw off, gnomes.
GUY: That’s it!

GUY takes a swing at JARROD, who proves to be an illusion. The illusion dissipates.

FLOYD: What the fuck? Did this guy just send an illusion here to IGNORE US?
BRIX: Calm down, Floyd.
FLOYD: No! This guy doesn’t take us seriously enough to earn the right to spy on us any time he wants to. He’s cut off!
BRIX: Cut off? What are we going to do, chop off our arms?
FLOYD: You got a better idea?

VIRGIL re-enters the conversation.

VIRGIL: We could just find a wizard who will remove the arcane mark.
FLOYD:… or that.

A WIZARD stands up from the table.

WIZARD: I’m a wizard who can remove arcane marks.
FLOYD: Wu-Tang. Remove away, my good man.
WIZARD: Sure. That’ll be thirty-five hundred gold pieces per arm, though.
FLOYD: Son of a crap! Why is everything in this town so expensive?
GUY: Your only other choice is to go around without your left arm, Floyd.

LONG pause.

Floyd?
FLOYD: I’m THINKING.
GUY: Here.

GUY hands the WIZARD a considerable amount of gold.

That should cover the four of us.
CHRIS TENNISON: That’s almost everything we had left from Scar Canyon!

The WIZARD concentrates, then speaks an incantation. FLOYD, GUY, VIRGIL, and BRIX look on as a little cloud of smoke erupts on their arms.

WIZARD: Pleasure doing business with you.

The WIZARD takes his money and scoots out of the bar. FLOYD takes out a piece of paper and pen and writes quickly.

VIRGIL: What are you doing?
FLOYD: I’m preparing an invoice for fourteen-thousand gold to Jarrod from us.
VIRGIL: I don’t think he’s going to pay that, Floyd.
FLOYD: Then I’m gonna take it out of his ass with a spiky scoop.
GUY: Are we done with Larst?
CHRIS TENNISON: I think we’re done with Larst.

Curtain Closes.
END of ACT I.

Floyd's Call-to-Arms Song

2010-01-04T14:07:00.001-08:00

Seek Adventure, Young Lads

(steady march)

Seek Adventure, Young Lads, on the war front!
Seek glory, seek fame, and seek renown!
Haven’t you always wished to know
When a bard like Floyd would tell ya so
Of possibilities outside of your hometown?

Seek adventure, young lads, in the good fight!
Don’t let goblins destroy the lives you’ve built!
When you remember all you’ve made
You will never be afraid, you’ll
Come home braggin’ of all that you have kill’t!

Seek adventure, young lads, and distinction!
When you kneel before that holy throne,
You are like to feel no shame
When the Proclaimer calls your name
As the light of your heroic deeds have brightly shone!

January 3 Game Notes

2010-01-04T13:43:00.000-08:00

In-game date: 10th of Winter Waning

Floyd, Virgil, Brix, and Axe return to Luthia to the War Council. Guy is absent to tend to a personal matter (presumably masturbation). When they arrive in Luthia, the four go to see Bart, who has made his way to Luthia with the Bogatars, who have completed their scouting mission of the goblin invasion. The Bogatars report the location of the goblin forces, and the presence of two considerable beasts – one a giant hydra, and one fitting the description of a gargantuan illithid. In addition, they report that goblin ships have begun sailing around the western coast of the continent via the north, and that the barbarians of Jottenheim have been fighting them there. This gives the party the impression that the goblins may land a Britewater, and they assume this will be their next mission. Virgil decides to consolidate all military intelligence under Bart, who channels control of the Bogatars, the Fifty-Gnomes, a team of Illrean Rangers, and Garvey’s network of contacts under his supervision.

After the war council agrees to this, a progress check is made, and many are dismayed that more has not been done as far as recruiting and conscription are concerned. It is expressed that the ranks of the Church and the Adventurer’s Guild will be insufficient to fight this war alone. Colonel Braddock, the de facto military commander of the War Council, agrees, but impresses that more time is needed before the entirety of the continent’s forces can be organized and deployed. In the meantime, Braddock hopes to employ a special strike force (the party, natch) to take care of a few important preparatory missions in order to prepare for the war. The party agrees to this notion.

Floyd suggests the formation of a think-tank, based off of the research of the Seeker known as Revan, who has been studying the beacon towers in an effort to understand how they work. This think tank would be made of young, agile minds that would come up with innovative ideas to aid the war effort. Additionally, Virgil proposes the building of airships and other weaponry / vehicular technology for the fight, and to inspire that to its natural end, war bonds will be issued to jump start the economy.

Floyd contacts Ajax and requests a team of ten Fifty-Gnomes well versed in disguise and subterfuge. Ajax informs him that the Fifty-Gnomes have begun recruiting and training above their proscribed number in an effort to more quickly replace casualties. Furthermore, Ajax reports to the party that the University in Dreia had approached Mason and requested exemption from the war effort, to which Mason agreed. It is once again resolved that Mason will need to be deposed from this seat in The Freelandian government.

Braddock feels that the ships coming west are more likely headed to Arimathea than they are to Britewater, and that more time is available to address the naval issue. More immediate is the need to destroy a bridge in Silar that is strategic to the advance of the Goblins on the eastern front. Braddock sends Virgil, Brix, Floyd, and Axe to destroy the bridge.

The party travels via convoy to Silar. Along the way, they see conscripts training for battle, and looking scared. To combat this, Floyd composes and performs a song along their stops to improve morale and increase confidence in the war effort. The song proves to be catchy and memorable, though not one of his best.

The convoy drops the party off a couple of miles away from the bridge. The party travels for two days, eschewing campfires for want of better concealment. When they finally arrive at the bridge, they manage to scope out a force of about ninety goblins, goblin mages (red vests), hobgoblins, and bugbears (with a wyvern or two for good measure) guarding the bridge. The boys formulate a plan, though it will require rest and rememorization of a few spells. As they attempt to hide and sneak away, however, they are discovered, and forced into a fight.

Virgil quickly makes the decision that the party should retreat, despite the protestations of Brix, Axe, and Floyd. Faced with Virgil’s abandonment of the fight, the other three reluctantly follow. When they are followed and spotted by one of the wyverns, Virgil attempts to teleport the group out, only to have the spell botch. The party ends up in Fey.

Finding themselves on a new plane, Floyd attempts to contact Alvin, the one fey he knows. However, his attempt to communicate through rock fails as the rock Floyd chooses ends up being a small granite-looking fey bug, whom Floyd drop kicks away. This proves to be a regrettable decisions when the fey returns with a swarm of similar creatures. Floyd, thinking quickly, fascinates the group, and suggests that his punishment should be being taken to the nearest friendly settlement. The fey bug concurs, and he leads him into the forest to a village of humanoid creatures no more than an inch tall.

Floyd finds a citizen and introduces himself, only to discover that the little man (Tevye) has heard of him. Tevye knows of a portal to the prime material plane, but demands a trade for the information; Floyd is forced to relinquish his Horn of Fog. Tevye directs Floyd to a tree stump which will transport the group.

Floyd attempts to use the portal, but he finds he can’t. Virgil reasons that something is blocking Floyd from leaving Fey, when Alvin shows up, demanding one of Floyd’s debts to him be repaid. Alvin requests that Floyd steal the Huntmaster’s Cup from the abode of the Horned King, who is abroad on a hunt. Having no choice, Floyd and the party go to the Horned King’s home, where they are forced to fight two dire bears, a dire tiger, and a dire boar. The animals themselves are not too tricky, but the Horned King’s servant, a flesh golem of some sort, proves to be a very difficult fight, although the party is ultimately victorious. They return to the portal, and give the cup to Alvin, who unlocks the portal and sends the boys back to the material plane. They find themselves a long way from Silar, however, and Virgil is forced to teleport the group again, this time without complication. They arrive in the spot where the convoy dropped them off, two days from the bridge, although as of this writing, they have no idea how much time passed while they were in Fey.

End of Session.

Game Notes December 27

2010-01-04T13:01:00.000-08:00

In-game date: 5th of Winter Waning (akin to our February)

Gameplay begins with the arrival of Pskenart, Oak, and Pierce Thundar to the End of Days War Council, and the late arrival of Luth, who comes to inform the assembled that the Holy City in Larst has been overrun, and Benedict has sent out a distress call. An immediate strike force is assembled (the player characters), and Matthick is sent back to Gortia with the instructions to assemble a back up force to come in and aid the strike force, and the Arimathean navy, which will enter the city first. Luth also explains that the goblin forces have set up beacon towers around the city which quickly put the kibosh on inter-planar travel based spells such as dimension door and teleport.

The strike force travels to the Arimathean navy ships under a Word of Recall set up by Luth’s accompanying clerics, and the party is soon thrust into a Normandy-esque situation, storming the beach. They arrive to find the first five levels of the city fallen, and the sixth under attack, while at the top, a large earth creature is attacking the Basilica proper. Brix rushes to the top to protect the Basilica and find Benedict, while the rest of the party clears a path from the beach and begins their ascent up the levels of the city.

To climb from the first level to the second level, Floyd and Scaramouche attempt to fly a rope over the wall for the others to climb. However, they are met by a force of Goblin Mages (wearing red vests), who assault Scaramouche with 300+ points of Magic Missle damage, and Scaramouche falls dead. However, the rope is secured and the goblin mages are dealt with, and the party burns the body of Scaramouche (with Floyd taking a couple of scales for possible resurrection later).

The party continues to ascend through the city. As they reach the fourth level, they find the mid levels of Larst to be on fire, and a more direct route is made to be taken. In addition, their trek over the city walls has caught the attention of the goblin force, and the army begins to make its way up to trap the party at the top.

Entering the sixth level of the city, the party is forced to explain their purpose to the remaining citizens of Larst who are fighting for their lives. These citizens reluctantly send the party on their way, though it is resolved that the group will return to fight for the survivors. The party then proceeds to the top of the city with little resistance, where Brix has managed to extract Benedict, but has had little luck with the gargantuan earth creature. Having previously thought it to be an elemental, Brix attempted a dismissal, but his magic was muffled by the beacon towers. Further engagement of the beast, however, made it clear that it was not an earth elemental, but a construct of some sort. Virgil and Pskenart then focused explosions on a very particular part of the construct, disabling the controls and sending the behemoth tumbling down the layers of the city, where it cut a large, trench-like swath down to the beach.

The morale-boost this provided would be short-lived, however, as the goblins began advancing up the trench as a shortcut, and it became increasingly clear that the Gortian backup forces were not going to arrive. Faced with overwhelming numbers and a sizable number of survivors to evacuate, Floyd chose to sneak off and find the field commander of the Goblin forces. Floyd managed to fascinate the commander and co-erce him into issuing the order to retreat. The commander issued the order over a magically-amplified loudspeaker, and a platform was lowered from the skies by goblins riding wyverns, and the command team was picked up and lifted off. Virgil and Brix took to the skies (via Air Walk and Polymorph) and cut the ropes holding the platform, sending the command team falling to their deaths. The goblins infantry commit mass suicide upon the order, leaving Larst destroyed but untaken. Benedict seals the catacombs below Larts, and abandons the Basilica. All in all 3400 citizens of Larst survive.

The party sees the evacuation process set underway, then makes its way back to Luthia to reconvene with the War Council.

In-game date: 7th of Winter Waning

The party returns to Luthia. Brixmore asks Scaramouche if he would like to be resurrected, and Scaramouche agrees, feeling there is much at stake for the world at large, and he would like to do his part.

A primary leadership is chosen among the assembled for the council:

Colonel Braddock of Nemia
Garvey of Silar
Dravick, Head of the Illrean Rangers
Virgil, representing Luthia
Guy of The Freelands
Luth, King of Arimathea, and Lord of the West

Benedict (later Erronious as Benedict’s proxy) serves as a representative of the Univeral Church to act in tie-breaking situations.

The primary preparations for war are put into action, beginning with the establishment of a front and the creation of trenches. Oak approaches Goldschmiddt about making inroads with the druids to dig the trenches, and Goldschmiddt refers him to a druid named Botha. Although Floyd is not privy to the conversation, it is understood that Oak strikes a deal with Botha that enables the druids to do so. Erronious organizes the church forces, and Kleppos brings the adventurers guild under his singular authority.

Meanwhile, Matthick is confronted and questioned as to why Gortian support did not manifest itself at the Sack of Larst. Matthick reveals that he intentionally withheld Gortia’s troops to show Gortia’s usefulness to the war effort, and demanded a larger say in the proceedings. The party and the rest of the council become enraged at this revelation, and Luth abolishes Gortia’s right to exist as a nation, and orders the immediate execution of Matthick at the hands of Guy, who performs his duty with relish.

Elliott’s role in the goblin invasion is discussed, and it is agreed that the party will visit Elliott to find out what he knows. The gang (and Goldschmiddt) travel to the Necromancer’s Tower, where they find Elliott to be uncooperative, though more troubling is the revelation that Virgil has been seeing Elliott in secret and has consulted with him on more than one occasion the possibility of lich-hood (for Virgil). Floyd moves to attack Elliott, but Elliott proves to be a wizard of considerable power; only through Virgil’s negotiating is are PC’s dismissed from Elliott’s home and spared their lives (by and large).

Dejected from this encounter, the party returns to Larst.

End of Session

Erronious' Report (DM Post)

2009-12-31T13:23:00.000-08:00

The Universal Church
Erronius’ Report

As dictated by his Holiness and ratified by the Papal Congress, I have been assigned to act as advisor to the Alliance and Director of the Church resources and participation in the war effort. The Church has invoked Crisis of the Faith, declared the war effort a Holy Crusade, and turned control over to the Council with the stipulation that I be allowed to advise. Below is a description of Church resources.

The Order of Radiant Knights

The Radiant Knights are tasked with rooting out corruption in the church, and answer only to his Holiness directly. That task has been set aside and the Radiant Knights are to aide the war effort in whatever capacity I see fit, as directed by the Council. It should be noted that they will not hesitate to slay any member of the Church found to be corrupt or treasonous, even myself. While there are only three of them, the Church respects them and feels that they will be of value.

Sebastian
Human Paladin/Holy Inquisitor
Leader, Radiant Knights
Status: Committed. In Luthia awaiting orders.

Xian
Human Paladin/Holy Inquisitor
Radiant Knight
Status: In Luthia.

Vernard
Human Paladin/Holy Inquisitor
Radiant Knight
Status: In Luthia

Church Crusaders

The following are the troops that have flocked to the Holy Crusade from the faithful, organized into a single Brigade broken into 6 Battalions, and 2 companies of Paladin Cavalry.

Paladins 400 (leveled paladins acting as heavy cavalry)
Crusaders 6000 (unleveled warriors)

Hospitalers

This group is made up of those among the priesthood and the faithful who are willing to serve as medics and healers for the Alliance.

Clerics 200 (leveled clerics)
Healers 800 (unleveled non-magical healers with some training)
Volunteers 1300 (un-trained)

Church Property

As a throw back to the fall of the empires many abbeys and monasteries are actually fairly defensible buildings. The Cardinals and heads of the Orders are issuing commands that these buildings are to be put to the Alliance’s disposal. All churches, cathedrals, and enclosed shrines and being converted to serve as hospitals should the need arise.

Klepos' Report (DM Post)

2009-12-30T13:13:00.000-08:00

The Adventurer’s Guild
Klepos’ Report

The Seekers
Order of Occult Scholars

Merrill (Halfling Seeker based in Larst focus was Golems) died during the recent Sack of Larst. There are now four surviving Seekers. Doctor Ethan seemed to be the driving force behind the group, and with his death and significant attrition the group is now pretty much defunct. The four survivors are:

Garam
Gnome Wizard
Based in Dreia
Focus Fey
Status: MIA. Reports from the Order of the Abbey state that he is currently in hiding.

Masari
Human Druid
Based in Nemia
Focus Krakens
Status: Nuetral. He refuses to get involved in the war effort instead focusing on his research. Is not expected to evacuate along with the rest of the Nemian population.

Yalla
Halfling Cleric/Bard
Based in Nemia
Focus Thoth
Status: Committed. Now under the direction of the Guild; is currently in Nemia assisting with the evacuation.

Revan
Elven Sorcerer
Based in Illrea
Focus Morrigan
Status: Committed. Currently in Illrea observing the Illrean front. Making a study of the enemy Beacon Towers.

Fellowship of the Golden Eagle
Adventurers advocating individual rights
and the dissolution of governmental power

The Fellowship is now defunct. Oren (Dwarven Leader and owner of the Shield Splitter Inn) and Petio (Half-Orc Fellow) were in Tutia when the goblins invaded and died trying to recover Gorm’s body. Oren left Soren the Shield Splitter Inn in his will and Soren has retired to run the inn. Guy Axefury and Tempest are the sole active members.

Tempest
Elven Ranger/Sorcerer
Status: Committed. Last report put her in Luthia. She is now under the direction of the Guild.

The Knights of Dawn
Adventurer’s club made up of Eastern Argravailian nobility

The Knights of Dawn went underground after the expansion of the Meliotic Empire, operating mostly from Barovia. When the Goblins came through Darkenhold the Knights pretty much scattered. Some fell, some are missing. The remaining members have consolidated into a platoon led by Count Vlassberg which has accepted Guild authority.

Count Vlassberg
Human Fighter
Leader of the Knights of Dawn
Status: Committed. Currently posted in Silar awaiting orders.

Baronet Hornsby
Human Sorcerer
2nd in Command of the Knights of Dawn
Status: Committed. In Silar with the Knights.

Viscount Ular
Human Wizard
Member of the Knights of Dawn (Advisor to Vlassberg)
Status: Committed. In Silar with the Knights.

Knights of Dawn
Status: Committed. Stationed in Silar.
Roster:
Command 3 (Vlassberg, Hornsby, and Ular)
Scouts 2 (Leveled Rangers)
Bards 1
Warriors 24 (Leveled Fighters)

Defenders of Knights Peace
Organization focused on the destruction of undead

The Adventurer’s Guild has had no contact with any of the Defenders since the goblins came out of Darkenhold. At this point I can only assume that the organization is dead.

The Runners
Messenger’s Guild unaffiliated with the Adventurer’s Guild

I have contacted the Runners’ Guildmaster, Elroy, and the Runners have committed to serving as military dispatch for the war effort in exchange for their members being exempt from conscription.

The Shining Order of Gnomish Protectors
Organization focused on the defense of
Gnomes and their communities

McGrath informed me (in his capacity of High Protector of the Shining Order) that, while 50 of the Shining Order are staying to defend Gnomehome, he has recalled all wandering Gnomish Protectors for the war effort. Additionally the 50 staying in Gnomehome are Burrow Wardens, and the Gnomish Protectors leadership will be taking the field on behalf of the Alliance. In an effort to preserve chain of command the Gnomish Protectors and McGrath will be under the authority of the Adventurer’s Guild, except when McGrath is acting as an Executive Council Member of the Freelands. McGrath will serve as my second and advisor for the Adventurer’s Guild.

McGrath
Gnome Barbarian
High Protector of the Shining Order
Status: Committed. In Luthia serving as Guild command staff.

Gnomish Protectors
Status: Committed. Mustering in Gnomehome and awaiting orders.
Roster:
Command 1 (McGrath as High Protector)
Knights of the Hearth 10 (leadership and leveled warriors)
Knights of Loam 40 (Veteran leveled warriors)
Burrow Wardens 50 (leveled warriors)
Conscripts 120 (gnomes from Gnomehome, base militia)

The Warriors of the Rose
Mercenary band operating out of Nemia and Barovia

Captain Xavier contacted me to commit to the Alliance (free of charge). He has asked to be placed under Guild authority for the war effort to avoid being seen as having any political affiliation. The Warriors are extremely tested veterans that have historically been used to spearhead assaults and I feel they will prove to be valuable allies.

Captain Xavier
Human Fighter
Leader of the Warriors of the Rose
Status: Committed. Stationed at the southern Illrean border awaiting orders.

Warriors of the Rose
Status: Committed.
Organization: Company split into 5 platoons
Roster:
Command 6 (Xavier and 5 lieutenants, 1 per platoon)
Crossbowmen 40 (Alpha platoon)
Infantry 120 (Beta, Theta, and Gamma platoons, leveled warriors)
Scouts 10 (leveled rogues, Omega platoon)
Marksmen 10 (leveled archers, Omega platoon)
Commandos 20 (leveled rangers, Omega platoon)

Non-affiliated Adventurers Answering Guild Call
The following Guild members, none whom belong to the groups mentioned above, answered the Guild call.

Fighters 60
Barbarians 20
Monks 10
Bards 30
Rogues 20
Rangers 40
Wizards 20
Sorcerers 10

NPC Profile: Samarid

2009-12-10T10:55:00.001-08:00

Samarid is a former brother at the Morningstar Abbey, and currently a trainer and advisor to the military of The Freelands. He is a large, muscular human with bright red hair and a thick, bushy beard. He dresses in animal skins, and is an adept fighter with an axe or in bare-handed combat.

At the start of the campaign, Samarid served the abbey as a smith and a farmer. His apprentice was Guy Furyaxe (formerly Fiftynames), and in addition to his trade, Samarid would work with Guy on combat techniques. He was reserved and guarded in what techniques he was willing to teach Guy, but sufficient prodding and pleading would often get him to show Guy a new move or style.

Samarid wore a mysterious choker around his neck, which the party discovered was in place to magically suppress his barbarian rage, and to artificially raise his wisdom and intelligence so as to make him a functioning member of civilized society. Guy discovered Samarid’s impressive axe and a helmet made from the skull of Wyvern one day, which effectively put an end to Samarid’s training of Guy.

The night of Teris’ death, Guy removed Samarid’s choker and sent him after Faust, hoping that Samarid could protect Art from harm. Although Samarid and Art were defeated, they were not killed, and Samarid was held prisoner at the abbey. When the boys had completed their adventurer apprenticeships, they returned to the abbey and freed Samarid, giving him his chokere back and restoring his reason. Samarid accompanied the party to the Warrior’s Rest, where he agreed to serve as a bodygaurd to Eric while he conducted research into the party’s heritages.

Samarid would occasionally see the party from time to time when they would meet with Eric, and Guy and Samarid would normally spar and share combat knowledge with each other. When Eric became Bjorn and retired from his research into the Year of the Ram, Samarid joined the party’s newly-formed government of The Freelands as a trainer and advisor to the Freelandian military, where he remains to this day.

December 6 Game Notes

2009-12-07T13:13:00.001-08:00

Gameplay begins in Ellicor, where Brix and Guy have caught up to the party, and take the opportunity to talk with Garvey, Gorom, and Vain about why they have chosen to sign peace treaties with the Meliotic Empire. Most importainly, Vain theorizes that the Meliotic Empire may be seeking protection from one of four entities: the High Elves, the Darklands, Issa, or the rest of Western Aggravail. After coming to the conclusion that there would be no harm in having The Freelands do so as well, the party requests a meeting with the ambassador from the Meliotic Empire, who helps them hammer out certain details – trade and inspection of goods, the establishment of embassies in each nation, and a mutually inclusive option to protect against extradition. However, the treaty hits a snag when the ambassador suggests (due to Guy’s braggadocio) that the Order of the Abbey (i.e., the party) be considered a branch of The Freelands’ military, a provision that would hold the nation sanctionable for the actions of the party. This is immediately met with resistance by everyone, and a heated debate ensues about whether or not to sign the treaty. Garvey and Vain are brought in for their opinions, and it is finally decided that the connection between the party and The Freelands is inevitable, and that the country could find itself subject to sanctioning with or without a clause in a treaty (which is only the word of one nation to another), and as a result, the treaty is signed on The Freelands’ behalf.

The party returns to Dreia and drops off the paperwork from the summit, before returning to Barovia to pick up a sword that Brixmore had left with the Apprentice, which itself is a precursor to heading into the Darklands to do some exploring. However, when they arrive, they find the Apprentice dead. Through a Speak with Dead, the Apprentice reveals that he is amenable to resurrection. Revived, he reveals that the sword Brix has given him has been cursed, and is now useless, and that he was killed by the Fist of Set, now reformed. The party decides they need to find out what the Fist of Set is up to, so Floyd takes to the skies on Scaramouche in search of them. Meanwhile, Guy inquires as to why the Apprentice would want the Bellmaker released, and the Apprentice reveals that it was to prevent the Bellmaker from becoming the final pieces in the Apocalypse chime.

Virgil performs a scrying on the Fist of Set, discovering that they have caught up with and killed Delphin (Bjorn’s twin, who fought with Kleppos and the party in the Fist of Set showdown), and seem to be on their way to kill the party as well. Knowing that their destination is likely to be Haven, the party reluctantly returns to Dreia via Brix’s Word of Recall, and prepares to face them.

A month goes by with no sign of the Fist of Set, when a page arrives to inform Haven that the Goblins have invaded Western Aggravail in force – 120,000 strong have overrun Tutia led by the Cathonic Beasts of Legend, and King Gorom is dead, news that elicits grief from the party. In addition, Vain is missing in action. Upon hearing this news, Guy sends for an Illrean Ranger black ops member. Finally, they learn that the Duke of Darkenhold has died and found himself overrun. In his last moments, he declared Virgil his successor, making Virgil the new Duke of Darkenhold, and commander of twelve surviving Bogotars.

The party rushes to get status updates on the rest of the continent. They discover that Molloch has magically shielded the capital of the Meliotic Empire from harm by ringing a bell created by the Bellmaker, which effectively seals off the city. The rest of the Meliotic Empire lies in ruins, and a larger force than the one invading Tutia has come over through Darkenhold. Garvey is unaware of the invasion until informed by the party. Upon learning about it, he immediately suggests an all-points war council be held in Larst, but this is later moved to Luthia. The Illrean Ranger black ops member informs the party that Vain has indeed died as well, and a ranger named Pallick is now in charge of their organization. Floyd travels to castle Visgoth to inform them of the news; he is met by Harves Raeth and told that Visgoth is uninterested until the goblins cross the Luthian Forest; at which point, he will personally take the field – this news creates tepid relief among the party for their corner of the world. On the way back, Floyd checks in with Goldschmiddt, who agrees to come to the war council, and Doovin, who is saddened to hear the news, but is powerless to help. Virgil and Eric discuss the possibility of conscription to fight the goblins, but The Freelands army, at 20,000 strong, is only predicted to increase to 45,000 through such measures.

The party goes to Mason to give him the news. Mason agrees that this is serious, but does not see the need for The Freelands to be involved. Beside himself, Guy vows to end the Goblin threat, and then come back and personally kill Mason. The remainder of the Executive Council of The Freelands, however (Ajax, McGrath, Eric, and Terick; the other two died of the plague) sees the benefit in the war council and abandons Mason to govern the domestic state.

The party leaves for Luthia. Upon arriving, they summon Abbott Teris’ spirit to talk to them – Teris explains that a prophecy exists on the subject in the High Seat of the Church in Larst – a prophecy (unrelated to the Year of the Ram) called the End of Days prophecy, whose outcome is unwritten.

before long, the rest of the war council shows up. What follows is a list of those summoned. Characters in italics are attending, and their major affiliations, for those not attending, a brief explanation is attached.

The End of Days War Council

Guy Axefury – The Freelands; Order of the Abbey, Fellowship of the Golden Eagle

Axe Bludgeonfist – Order of the Abbey

Brixmore – The Freelands, Order of the Abbey, The Universal Church

Floyd Fiftynames – The Freelands, The Fifty Gnomes, Order of the Abbey

Virgil Deathbow – The Freelands, Darkenhold, Order of the Abbey

Ajax – The Freelands, The Fifty Gnomes

McGrath – The Freelands, Gnome-Home

Eric – The Freelands (Military)

Terick – The Freelands

Garvey – Silar

Meldor, Lord of Arrows – Luthia (The Hunters)

Queen of Luthia – Luthia

Graham – Independent (AWOL from the Barbarians in the North)

King Luth – Arimathea

Matthick – Gortia

Pope Benedict – The Universal Church

Havern – Weaponsmiths, the Twilight Lands

King of Nemia – Nemia

Kleppos – The Adventurer’s Guild

Goldschmiddt – Followers of the Dagda

Rumplemintz – Followers of the Dagda

Not Attending:

Zarin / Linus – Uninterested in matters of state, fighting goblins from the north shore

Elliott – Turned a deaf ear to Virgil and Guy’s request; Elliott has information that could be of use to us, and his refusal to attend is particularly disheartening

A rep. from the Meliotic Empire – Unreachable; capital is sealed off

Goldemar – All of Goldemar is engaged in holding the goblins back at present

The Order of the Serpent – Engaged in battle at present

At once assembled, these twenty-one individuals will go about the business of planning a defense against an invasion of a quarter of a million goblins and their legendary Cathonic commanders.

End of Session

November 29 Game Notes

2009-12-07T12:19:00.000-08:00

Note: Brix and Guy are absent from this session.

Gameplay begins with Virgil, Axe, and Floyd debating the merits / detriments of killing Mason, finally coming to the conclusion that they did not have to kill him to force him to change. Virgil, Floyd, and Axe would attend the summit in Ellicor (the capital of Arimathea), as they had been invited by Mason to go an put in a token appearance for The Freelands, where they would convince various world leaders to cease trade relations with The Freelands until the nation backed off its isolationist policies. This move would seriously threaten the Freelandian economy, which would almost certainly affect public opinion of Mason.

The trio depart Dreia by air, stopping by the Morningstar Abbey and checking in with Abbott Art. Everything at the Abbey seems to be positive, so the party heads on south to Ellicor, which is located near the south coast of Arimathea. Along the way, they meet some other travelers, who react with distrust at a Half-Orc in the party, so the gang decides to keep its distance. Soon, they find themselves in Ellicor, where they check in at the palace, which has a workman-like design from the outside, but an opulent inside. They are greeted by Chancellor Braddock, who is disappointed that The Freelands did not send representatives with any real power. However, the group is given a suite anyway, and a page – a dwarf named Axle. Floyd has Axle set up a dinner meeting with King Gorom of Tutia and Garvey of Silar. That evening, they discuss their plan with the two heads of state, and both Gorom and Garvey agree to take part, indicating that things were headed that way in any case. Gorom also asks the boys to take care of a problem he is having with bandits who are raiding a nearby diamond mine he has financial interest in. Having nothing to do but wait for the summit to begin in three days, Virgil, Floyd, and Axe accept the job.

The “bandits” in question turn out to be a pair of Fire Giant brothers who hire Etins as their goons, and employ a gang of Ogre Mages as well. Down two of their heavy hitters, the trio makes an impressive run of it before they are ambushed. Virgil takes significant damage and is forced to retreat, taking Axe with him. Floyd sticks around long enough to trick the bandits out of the treasure room, where he loots as much as he can carry before escaping himself.

When the group finds themselves pursued by invisible Ogre Mages, Virgil is forced to teleport the boys back to Ellicor. However, his spell does not completely work properly, and the trio find themselves teleported over the castle moat. Although the manage to avoid making a splash, they do attract some attention and are chastised “for dabbling in magic they do not understand.” Floyd reports the result of their foray to Gorom, who brushes it off as no big deal. Meanwhile, in an exciting bit of news, Gorom and Garvey’s letters have worked wonders, and Mason grants Virgil and Floyd full diplomatic powers at the upcoming summit – effectively making them Secretaries of State for the time being.

The roster for the summit is as follows:

Tutia – King Gorom the Fat
Silar - Garvey
The Freelands – Axe Bludgeonfist, Floyd Fiftynames, Virgil Deathbow
Illrea – Vain
Larst – Allric (a foppish figure)
The Universal Church – Archbishop Joyous
Nemia – Col. Dudemont
Arimathea – King Luth
Luthia – Head of the Luthian Hunters
Gortia – Matthick

Luth calls the meeting to order, explaining that the purpose of the summit is two-fold – first, that Gortia has organized their government, and wishes to be recognized as a country. Matthick, the representative from Gortia, turns out to be a spitting image of Mason (only with hair). Matthick re-affirms the organization of Gortia, and claims designs on re-integrating all of Gortia’s former territory, which includes the land that is now Virgil’s Hold. Virgil, to nobody’s surprise, takes exception to this, and lays out the fact that at The Freelands’ summit, their borders were recognized. Tutia, Silar, Nemia, Illrea, and Arimathea back up Virgil’s claim, and Matthick seemingly backs off. Allric will not weigh in, presumably because of Larst and Gortia’s proximity and the desire to stay out of a conflict.

The second purpose of the meeting is for Luth to report on his activity with the High Elf Empire. According to Luth, he sent eight ships to the Elven Empire in the hopes of establishing trade talks. Two of the ships returned, and those that did reported that the High Elves seemed to be expecting them, and thought that the Arimathean ships were from the Meliotic Empire. This causes some alarm at the summit, for the nations to consider the ramifications of the Meliotic Empire trading with the High Elves. In particular, Virgil is consternated as he considers The Freelands to still be at war with the High Elves, a position that the others affirm but decide that The Freelands is alone in (excepting the instance of a High Elf invasion, as happened before).

At that point, the summit is interrupted by the arrival of an ambassador from the Meliotic Empire, who comes to the summit wishing to establish peace treaties with the nations of Western Aggravail. He assures the summit that the Meliotic Empire and the High Elves are not undergoing trade talks, as the High Elves currently only wish to deal in slaves, which is of no interest to Molloch or the Meliots. However, this talk of peace treaties stirs a great deal of distrust from Virgil and Floyd, who give the Meliotic ambassador every reason why a peace treaty would not be possible. Floyd even goes so far to explain that he does not see a peace treaty possible without having the chance to meet Emporer Molloch face-to-face. The ambassador agrees to this, but says it may take upwards of a year’s time. The Freelands declines a peace treaty, but finds out later that every other nation signed one.

End of Session.

November 22 Game Notes

2009-12-07T11:53:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the unexpected delay in postings. Today, I will publish the last three weeks' game notes. After that, there will be a two-week off period (i.e., no sessions December 13 or 20) which I will try to fill with a new puppet musical installment, and a couple of NPC Profiles.

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Gameplay begins in the mountains of eastern Barovia, where the party is marching to confront and kill the Orc King. Via Scaramouche, the Pegasus, and Virgil’s polymorph ability, the party attempts to cover the distance faster via flight. However, after a couple of days of travel in this manner, they find themselves visited by an orc emissary, who tells the party that the orcs know of their imminent arrival due to some divination work by their shaman. The shaman sends the emissary with the message that the party’s lives will be spared if they have the sense to turn back now. The party does its best to convince the emissary that their intentions are not murderous, but they are unsuccessful. The next day, the party finds the elements of the air have turned against them, with windstorms and lightning bolts threatening them in the skies. Because of this, the gang decides to continue on foot through the mountains and forest.

After about a week’s time, the party finds a valley that seems to be the orc’s sanctuary. Virgil and Brix launch a volley of magical explosions and fire into the valley, only to discover that the whole thing is an illusion masking an inexplicably located elf village. As the party rushes in to minimalize the damage and save face, they discover a wall of orcs at the top of the valley opposite who begin a downward charge. Brix manages to stop an all-out onslaught by putting up a Blade Barrier. Meanwhile, Axe, Floyd, Guy, and Virgil Dimension Door to the back of the fray to confront the Orc King and the Shaman. A fairly serious battle ensues, but the party is victorious.

The boys return to Eagle’s Peak with the head of the Orc King, and the people of Eagle’s Peak agree to resume trade with DeFeo. Afterwards, the party contemplates their next move. They decide to check in with the remains of Four (of the Fist of Set), only to discover that Garam is once again in grave danger, and that the Fist of Set has likely resurrected Thumb and recruited a new Two and Four. They decide to return to Dreia to warn Garam, and get there quickly thanks to Brix’s Word of Recall. There, they are dismayed to find the government of The Freelands in turmoil, as several Executive Council members are suffering from an illness not unlike the plague that afflicted Gortia, leaving Mason, Eric, and Ajax as the only real decision makers. Mason has taken this opportunity to bring more power to the Executive Council (and it’s de facto reigning chief executive) under his umbrella, and many of the Governors and Judges currently elected by the people are under Mason’s political tutelage. Mason, meanwhile, has adopted an isolationist stance for The Freelands, pulling promised troops out of Nemia and angering Garvey of Silar. In addition, he has no intention to attend a summit called by Luth, King of Arimathea (and Lord of the West).

After warning Garam and sending him into hiding, Guy attempts to reason with Mason, but to no avail. The party seeks out Ajax for his insight, whereupon they discover Garvey is insistent that something be done about Mason due to an uncovered correspondence between Mason and the Meliotic Empire. However, Ajax informs the group that this document was created by the Fifty-Gnomes as a means of getting Mason out of the picture. Realizing that the bulk of intelligent local opinion seems to be anti-Mason, the party and Ajax debate what must be done with him.

End of Session

November 15 Game Notes

2009-11-19T12:17:00.000-08:00

Gameplay begins with the party recovering from their fight with the Fist of Set at the Wayfarer’s Guild Hall in Ostrogoth. Floyd takes the loot from the fight that was not claimed by any of the participants to the guild shop for sale; all told, the party receives 115,000 gp for the lot.

Brix takes the head of Thumb and casts Speak with Dead. Unlike most corpses under this spell, Thumb appears as a lucid, fully aware entity. The party questions him about his cohorts’ getaway, and Thumb reveals there had been an underground cavern beneath that hill where One and Three were able tor recover from the fight before making their escape. Thumb’s spirit then possesses Virgil, but it is quickly subdued and abandons his mortal host, inviting the party to summon him again anytime before he vanishes.

The party spends the remainder of a week recovering before purchasing four horses (Scaramouche rejoins the party and remains Floyd’s primary source of transportation) at rock-bottom prices and heading north to Beckendorff.

Arriving in Beckendorff, the party finds a city built partially underground, and with a second level of interconnecting tunnels and passageways between commercial and government buildings. Upon entering, Floyd is instructed to remove his hat, which he does to avoid suspicion. The party makes their way to a tavern, where they discover that puppet shows licensed by the bardic consortium occur regularly and that a parade celebrating the town’s pantheon religious structure is coming up in a couple of days, and that the parade will feature a large Floyd Fiftynames puppet, which Guy is eager to see. Brixmroe and Guy are disheartened to learn that the Universal Church does not have a presence in Beckendorff.

The party books a room at an inn for the night. Floyd disguises himself and goes with Axe to the bardic consortium, where he is given a tour as a novice hoping to join. Floyd learns that within the bardic consortium is housed the 49 Gnomes headquarters, and therefore, Mitchell. Floyd and Axe tour the facility (as much as is shown to the public), then head back to the inn, where they encounter Virgil. Virgil, Floyd, and Axe have a long discussion about the best way to infiltrate Mitchell’s headquarters. Many facets of the plan are considered, but most importantly, the objectives are to rid the town of its religious heresy (Brix & Guy), capture and kill Mitchell (Floyd), and take the Bellmaker out, alive and intact (Virgil & Axe). Several options are weighed, from overt stealth to shock and awe, until finally, Virgil determines that the party does not have enough information to proceed. His solution is to attempt to ferret out a thieves’ guild, hoping they will be able to help him – albeit for a price.

Virgil takes to the streets of Beckendorff, where he is surprisingly not killed or beaten. Instead, he finds a beggar who happens to be a former priest of the Universal Church, forbidden from practicing in the city. Virgil gives the beggar some money, and the beggar gives Virgil the name of a tavern, telling him to look there for a way into the 49 Gnomes quarters.

Virgil rounds up the party, and they head for the tavern in question, where they are greeted with suspicion upon entering. Virgil makes friendly with a large group at a table, and the leader of the group recognizes the party as the Order of the Abbey. He agrees to get the boys into Mitchell’s quarters for a price – he needs a book, and he insists that Mitchell not be killed. In addition, the party will agree to sneak a group of Universal Church deacons out of the city. The party finds they cannot agree to leaving Mitchell alive, nor are they comfortable getting a book whose title cannot be revealed until the pact is made. The party politely refuses the request and offers to take the deacons out of the city anyway, an offer declined by the group leader.

The boys set out on their own to infiltrate Mitchell’s quarters. They come within a few blocks of the bardic consortium, then wait as Floyd approaches the guards outside in the guise of the novice from before. Floyd tells the guards that he came for a tour earlier and left something important inside. The guards buy this, and agree to send someone who can take him inside. The gnome who comes out, Blinkin, takes Floyd inside the consortium walls, where Floyd charms him. Together, they go outside, and come back in with the rest of the party, passing by the guards with Blinkin’s permission.

Blinkin leads the group to the front of the 49 Gnomes’ headquarters, but they encounter a couple of gnomes who will not let them pass. Guy makes short work of them, and Floyd, not wishing to involve Blinkin any farther, instructs him to go out, get drunk, and forget about everything that happened this night. Blinkin acquiesces, and the party is left on their own to proceed in. Unfortunately, Floyd sets off a trap specifically designed to alert Mitchell if any member of their party made it in – a trap which affords Mitchell to escape (on Griffon-back, he claims), and to kill the resident of his holding cell, which the party believes to be the Bellmaker. Floyd tosses an ottoman through the window and leaps out, hopping on Scaramouche to pursue Mitchell, while the rest of the party makes for the cell.

The party arrives at the holding cell and discovers not the Bellmaker, but Doogal, face down and dead. They take Doogal’s body and head for Mitchell’s room, where they discover a large gem with magical properties and correspondence from Mitchell to Visgoth, offering make a deal with him for the information Doogal has provided.

Floyd, meanwhile, scours the skies for Mitchell, but it is for naught. When Virgil transforms into an eagle with See Invisibility, it only confirms Mitchell’s treachery and falsehoods have again provided him with a chance to escape. Having extracted everything they need from the 49 Gnomes headquarters, Virgil and Guy set fire to it, and leave it behind.

The party leaves Beckendorff and camps outside of town. There, Brix casts Speak with Dead on Doogal and confirms that he would come back if resurrected. A debate breaks out over whether or not to bring Doogal back, with Guy leading the “for” argument, and Virgil basically on his own in the “opposed” party. Finally, a few compelling reasons are listed for bringing Doogal back, including the fact that only he can call off the Wild Hunt on the party, and that he has information that the party needs about destroying Visgoth. Doogal is resurrected by Brix, while the party brings Axe into Abbott Teris’ communication circle.

Doogal returns, and agrees to call off the Wild Hunt as soon as he is in a place where he can do it. Meanwhile, he asks that the party catch him up with everything that has gone on until now while he was in jail. The party tells him about Visgoth and the hunt for his soul, which Doogal believes to be a hoax. They also tell him the details surrounding his Year of the Ram heritage, most of which Doogal had been heretofore unaware of, and Doogal attempted to explain his history as an entrepenureal child prodigy.

Meanwhile, Axe was beginning to feel the compulsion to complete his Geas to bring the Bellmaker back to the Apprentice in Oslov’s Bones, so the party and Doogal traveled to the cavern in the ruins of the town with the gem, which they believed (rightly) had the Bellmaker trapped inside. The Apprentice released Axe from his Geas, but decided he did not want to be around where the Bellmaker was released, so the party returned to the surface to do the job, thinking they stood a better chance of a fight in the open than in a cavern. However, there was no fight, though the Bellmaker proved to be batshit crazy in his own right, and revealed that he had long been at work on a device called The Apocalypse Chime, which, if rung, could undo creation. While the party was left wondering exactly how many world-ending devices were on this stupid continent, the Bellmaker explained to the party that the “Visgoth’s Soul” they were hunting for was actually the final piece of the chime, which was located in a tower in the north (correctly assumed to be where Elliott is located). Why Elliott was in search of the pieces – and why he hired the Halfling / Half-Orc party to get them for him. The party resolves to hold on to their quarter of the chime at all costs.

The Bellmaker takes his leave of the party, and they do not seem to be in a position to stop him. After he leaves, Floyd high tails it to meet with the people in Eagle’s Pea k to attempt to negotiate trade rights for the DeFeo compound. The citizens of Eagle’s Peak seem to have no proper knowledge of the difference between Half-Orcs and real Orcs, so Floyd offers the party’s services to dispatch of the Half-Orcs. The citizens of Eagle’s Peak are happy at hearing this news, and give Floyd details on the Orc King, which he brings back to the party.

Floyd finds the party and explains the situation, and they agree to take on the orcs. In the meantime, they relay what Doogal has revealed to them about the true way of destroying Visgoth’s soul. According to Doogal, the means necessary are located in Dr. Ethan’s journal, which has been split into three pieces, which are located in three different parts of the world (The Eastern Lands, Elliott’s Tower, and the Southern Continent of Issa). Realizing that another long journey is about to begin, the party steels themselves and gets ready to go Orc hunting.

End of Session.

Game Notes November 1 & 8

2009-11-13T14:03:00.000-08:00

Gameplay begins as Floyd and Scaramouche arrive in Ostrogoth with news of Doogal’s escape (see the Oct. 25 addendum Floyd Flies Solo). There, he is greeted by the party and informed of the upcoming soul auction and the party’s part in it, as well as the events of the last few weeks (as noted in the October 25 session notes). Virgil asks Floyd if there are any Fifty Gnomes in Ostrogoth, and Floyd decides to test this theory by posting correspondence with the organizational symbol outside on the flagpole.

Upon exiting the Wayfarer’s Guild Hall, however, he is shocked to discover a sign advertising the exhibition of an upcoming puppet musical mocking the exploits of the Order of the Abbey, to be put on by Mitchell. Floyd, who hadn’t really been all that upset by Mitchell’s resurfacing before, finds the situation gravely changed. The party heads for a tavern called the Hammer and Nail in search of the ½ Orc and Halfling in bandages. Floyd deftly solicits the information he needs from the bartender at the tavern, and also learns that Mitchell heads up a group known as the Forty-Nine Gnomes, a bardic consortium designed, seemingly, to openly mock Floyd Fiftynames, the one person who gave Mitchell as second chance. Faced with this abominable show of gratitude, Floyd loses his mind for a time.

The bartender informs the party that the ½ Orc and Halfling are here, but they have six others with them. Coincidentally, the ½ Orc comes downstairs around that time and has a conversation with the party, informing them that they were hired by Elliott to retrieve the pieces of Visgoth’s soul, for what purpose they are unaware. The Halfling in Bandages also shows up, displays a preference for drinking chicken broth, and makes an uneasy peace with the party, though it becomes clear that they will meet again when it becomes necessary for them to retrieve the soul pieces in the party’s possession.

Upon exiting the Hammer and Nail, Floyd sends Scaramouche to Dreia with correspondence summoning Lil’ Skimpy and a task force to Ostrogoth to help deal with the Forty-Nine Gnomes situation. The party waits for the auction at the Wayfarer’s Guild Hall. Prior to this, Skimpy and his band show up, and Floyd is talked out of having them obliterate the Forty-Nine Gnomes altogether, however, Skimpy and his group do seek out the bardic consortium and the Forty-Eighth Gnome, bringing Forty-Eight back alive and destroying the rest of the group with a flesh-eating bacteria (an act that sits well with no one). Deciding to take advantage of the Fifty-Gnomes’ presence in Ostrogoth, Brix and Virgil commission Skimpy’s group to keep an eye on the Fist of Set. Skimpy protests that his group was not designed for stealth, but the party puts them on the job anyway. The result is the delivery of a set of gnome ears and the head of Lil’ Skimpy to the Wayfarer’s Guild shortly after. Brix sees fit to resurrect Lil’ Skimpy, but after discovering that Skimpy was condemned to Hell, Brixmore resurrects him under the condition that he follow the path of a paladin. Skimpy returns, and is sent home to Dreia.

The night of the auction arrives, and the party goes to their appointed room to await the event. After a time, Jarrod arrives, informs the party that he will be their proxy, and takes their first bid. The party makes a low bid, hoping to get an idea of what the high bids will be. Jarrod relays this information, and returns, confused and put out, indicating that one of the groups has not shown up for their appointment. Since the party was not the highest bid of the first round, he reveals the high bid, and gives the party a chance to trump it. The party throws their second bid into the ring, considerably more than the last. Jarrod leaves and returns, informing them that they have been outbid. The party begins to propose a third bid, but they are interrupted by the arrival of Malus and Harves Raeth (the missing bidding party), who take Jarrod into their possession, informing him that he is about to join Visgoth’s army. The party, sensing that the Fist of Set may take advantage of this situation, bolt from the room to face them.

Along the way, Floyd runs into Delphin, and convinces him to come along to fight the Fist of Set, after explaining the de facto dissolution of the Council of Shadows resulting from the capture and thrall-i-fying of their leader. Delphin agrees to join them, and Floyd messages Bjorn (formerly Eric) to inform him that they’ve found his twin. Guy, Virgil, Axe, and Brix enlist the help of Kleppos and Tok, and the Fist of Set agrees to meet the party outside of town. They do so, near a large tree on the outskirts of Ostrogoth, where they finally meet the entire fist of Set: Thumb, One, Two, Three, and Four. Thumb, speaking for the group, informs the party that they did not bring enough backup.

(At this point the Nov. 1 Session ends, and the Nov. 8 Session begins)

What follows is a flurry of prep spells on either side of the fight, and a furious melee that begins when Floyd teleports into the middle of the action. Thumb creates a blade barrier that blocks Delphin and a summoned polar bear from joining the fray, but further spellcasting efforts on the part of the FoS casters is disrupted by a silence spell Floyd places on Axe at the end of the prep. The Fist of Set is formidable, but the party’s pre-fight strategy proves solid, and the gang takes down Four (a Weapons Master who primarily uses a trident), Two (a rouge with the ability to feint at will), and Thumb (a divine spellcaster). One (a dervish fighter) and Three (an arcane spellcaster with a soul-stealing sword) escape when One swoops in to save Three and teleports away.

The party, having roundly defeated the Fist of Set (though they come up short in obliterating them), gathers their spoils, and heads back to the Wayfarer’s Guild for a respite.

End of Session.

October 25 Game Notes

2009-11-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Axe for taking and providing game notes for this session.

-------------------------

Gameplay starts with the party still in Darkenhold after having just defeated a Golem and High Elf that revealed some shocking information about Brix’ past. While contemplating their next move, Virgil and Brix administer a healing potion to Guy to cure him of the bites he incurred during the Hunt.

Eventually, the party concludes that it is vital that they return to Ostrogoth in order to be close to (although not necessarily participate in) the upcoming auction of the soul piece that is being organized by the Council of Shadows. They even contemplate finding a way to steal the piece but are short on any ideas of how to accomplish this. At the very least, they hope to have a chance to speak with Delphin.

As the party begins its trek back to Ostrogoth, Brix summons the ability to talk with the dead so he can speak with the head of the High Elf and learn more about his origin, and possibly, who gave him his orders. After a few questions, Brix is only able to get a few tidbits of information; most notably, that Graxx is currently in the Darklands as a war leader. And while the Elf doesn’t provide a name for who ordered the creation of Graxx, he did indicate that he had several “clients,” at which point Brix had run out of questions he could ask.

Before returning to Ostrogoth, Guy pays a visit to the Fire Giant to see if he can repair his axe, which was damaged by a Delver in the Darkenhold cave. The Fire Giant promises to do so but says that it will lose some of its powers – and gain some new ones. The Giant tells Guy he can pick up his axe in a few weeks, as well as the new armor he is preparing for Axe.

The journey to Ostrogoth takes about two weeks[?] The city is full of scavengers, mercenaries and adventurers. Fights break out in the streets and even the occasional murder. The party looks for a place to stay and find their choice of several inns, including the Red Lobster, the Leaky Dinghy and the Rusty Nail. They decide to take their chances at the Red Lobster.

While checking in at the inn’s tavern and sitting down for a few drinks, they receive quite a few unfriendly stares. Eventually, they are approached by a masked gentleman. Ready for a fight, the gang is relieved when they learn that the masked stranger is actually Tok. It is a friendly reunion as Tok reveals that he now works full-time for the Wayfast Field Guild in the center of the city. Virgil asks to see Tok’s mask, which turns out to be a fantastic piece of hardware that reveals data on anything the wearer of the mask looks at. Virgil gives it back and later reveals that he’ll try to see if he can recreate the technology on his own.

Because Tok works at the Guild, the party decides that they should get a room there. Along the way, Tok continues to provide some important information; most notably, he informs the group that there has been no communication from Darkenhold, and that recently, Dougal was freed from jail. He also mentions that the entire Meliodic Empire is mobilizing. When asked about the upcoming auction, he mentions that not only is Malice in the city, but also the 48th Gnome, a name that the party doesn’t recognize. He does know that the Fist of Set is also there and are staying at the Rusty Nail. As for the Council of Shadows, their location is a mystery.

Upon arriving at the Guild Hall, the party asks for a tour, as well as the opportunity to speak with Kleppos. They learn that this particular Guild’s specialty is making armor and would like to go visit its shop for supplies. After meeting with Kleppos and talking a little more about the auction, they request that a message be sent to Jarrod about a possible meeting prior to the auction.

The next morning, a messenger comes to the Guild with a note for the party. It informs them that they are to meet with Jarrod at the Rusty Nail for ale at 4 p.m. Sensing a trap, the group decides to have Virgil (in disguise) go there first to stake it out. Axe would soon follow and arrive early to watch for any signs of trouble while Brix and Guy meet with Jarrod.

Unfortunately, all does not go as planned. Virgil goes out alone and actually encounters the Half-Orc and the Halfling in the streets. Although Virgil tries to put up a valiant fight, he is rendered feeble-minded. In turn, the Half-Orc seeks out and finds Virgil’s soul piece (a goblet). The Halfling also tries to take Virgil’s book of spells, but the Half-Orc (only a mercenary) admonishes him not to take anything they weren’t ordered to get. Nonetheless, both of them are gone by the time the rest of the party arrives at the Rusty Nail. As a result of the incident, the gang agrees not to travel alone while in the city and give the remaining three soul pieces to Brix for safe-keeping.

Eventually, they go as a group to the 4 o’clock meeting. At their table, they actually encounter all five members of the Fist of Set (several of whom eye the group) who walk by one-by-one. Eventually, Jarrod does arrive and sits down. He tells them that the actual auction will take place in three weeks. All interested parties will be assigned to a room at different inns and an individual will come to each room to ask for their bid. When asked if they could talk to Delphin, Jarrod refuses. In addition, he informs the group that Dougal is no longer a part of the Council.

At the end of the rendezvous, the group decides they have no choice but to wait until the auction. In the meantime, they will stay holed up at the Guild and wait for Floyd to return. Brix decides to go visit the Universal Church in the city and stay with them. Virgil hopes to spend the time making the Headband of Intellect, as well as attempt building the mask that Tok was wearing.

Finally, Guy and Axe head out to see the Fire Giant and get their new armor and axe. When they arrive, however, they find the Giant gravely wounded. When asked who the culprit was, the Giant describes an individual that closely resembles one of the members of the Fist of Set. This individual also stole one of the 12 swords that steals souls. Guy administers several healing potions to the Giant, who finally is able to give both of them their armor and axe. In return, the Giant requests that they not only free the Bell maker as previously arranged, but also kill the individual who did this to him. From there, Guy and Axe begin their trip back to the city.

End of Session

October 25 Game Notes Addendum: Floyd Flies Solo

2009-10-30T12:42:00.000-07:00

Floyd Fiftynames was out sick for the October 25 Game Session. What follows is a summary of Floyd's in-game activities as described by the DM to Floyd, with a couple of quick "roleplaying" actions thrown in for good measure:

Upon exiting the cave, Floyd was met by Scaramouche, who had been tracked down and given a message from Ajax, requesting Floyd's presence in Evanshold (in the former Bodian Protectorates). Floyd excused himself from the party, hopped on Scaramouche, and flew to Evanshold, where he was to meet with Thistlebush (FG27) at the Night Trade, under new ownership since Sebastian departed the city.

At the tavern, Thistlebush disclosed to Floyd that Doogal had recently been sprung from jail in Evanshold, and while he was unsure of the halfling's whereabouts, the gnome had managed to find and bribe the man who was in the cell next to Doogal, and convinced him to relay the conversation he overheard between Doogal and the man who sprung him:

(what follows is an approximate transcript)

DOOGAL: Oh, it's you. I wasn't expecting to see you.

MR.X: As you may know, various parties have recently been set on a hunt to find and piece together Visgoth's soul.

DOOGAL: I have to say I was not aware of that, for you see, I have been in fucking jail.

MR.X: I believe this hunt to be a wild goose chase. However, I also have reason to believe that you, Doogal, possess the knowledge of how to actually destroy Visgoth completely.

DOOGAL: ...Perhaps we should go somewhere more comfortable and talk.

*BLIP!*

-----------------

Armed with this knowledge, Floyd heads over to Natasha's magic shop, where he purchases a Wand of Identify and Goggles of Minute Seeing. Returning to the Night Trade, he gets a room and stays the night, using 9 of the 40 charges on the wand to identify the potions he found in the alchemy lab of the Toth devotees, and the six "wonderous potions" he found in the High Elf's chamber.

After trying out three of the wonderous potions, he is at best able to glean that they are "wonderous potions," and their true nature cannot be revealed until someone drinks them (like an edible Rod of Wonder). The Alchemical potions will be explained by the DM at the session on Sunday, November 1.

The next morning, Floyd and Scaramouche return south to re-join the party.

NPC Profile: Drooley

2009-10-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

Marshall Drooley was a chief of local law enforcement in Arimathea, initially of the small hamlet Verl’s Crook, but eventually, due to takeing credit for an investigation that he did not solve, he was promoted to Marshall of Compassgate, one of hte nation’s largest cities.

Drooley first encountered the Order of the Abbey on their first adventure, when they happened upon a recently murdered woman on the streets of Verl’s Crook. Drooley, sheriff of the town, stumbled upon the scene and promptly revealed himself to be an incompetent drunkard. After being dismissed by Guy, Drooley handed over the reigns of the investigation to the party, and retreated back to the sheriff’s office to drink.

After passing out, Floyd and Virgil beat Drooley senseless and then placed him at the bottom of the stairs to make it look like a fall. When he came to, the party had solved the mystery – Gruth was behind bars, and Tolgas, the mastermind of the crime, was slain. However, due to the machinations of Maggie, the proprietor of The Gilded Lily (Verl’s Crook’s inn and tavern), Drooley was given credit for the investigation and the party returned to the abbey unheralded. Later, under Drooley’s watch, Gruth escaped.

Years later, Drooley would become the subject of one of Floyd Fiftynames’ first songs, “Marshall Drooley is an Idiot.” The song mixed truth and slander to hilarious effect. Other than the reknown brought by the song, Drooley was not a fixture in the lives of the characters until the day the party went to Compassgate to meet the impending invasion of Doogal, whereupon they learned that Drooley had been promoted to Marshall of Compassgate. In an act of supreme stuipidity, Drooley had given the bulk of his force the day off to celebrate the Yule, leaving Compassgate defenseless. The party attempted to talk some sense into Drooley, and when this didn’t work out, he was killed by Guy.

Today, to be “Drooley” is synonomous with stupidity and incompetence.

October 18 Game Notes

2009-10-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

Gameplay picks up in Darkenhold, where the party nears the cave Charles Fox told them about. Along the way, the party encounters their old buddy Oak, who decides to go with them to the cave.

When they reach the cave, they discover it is sealed shut with a porthole door. The boys figure out how to open the door, and how to shut it behind them in an effort to cover their tracks. Scaramouch does not join them, preferring to stay outside. Inside, the party discovers a natural cavern. After discerning that none of the stalagmites or stalagtites are actually ropers, and after a slightly inconvenient encounter with a choker, they happen upon a large, dark chasm with a natural stone bridge. The party starts across the bridge, but are forced to back off when they encounter a small team of Driders coming to attack them. Virgil fireballs the bridge, taking out the Driders but also the bridge in the process. Using Floyd’s Pegasus, the group flies over the bridge and heads farther into the cavern.

Shortly thereafter, they encounter a Delver, which is quickly dispatched, but not before it damages Guy’s axe, reducing its effectiveness. This led to Guy receiving some ribbing by Floyd, which resulted in Guy magically charming Floyd, who for the next eight hours became Guy’s new best friend.

The party worked its way to a chamber where there was a large door with three gems inside. The three gems were related to three levers with corresponding gems that would light up when the levers were pulled. The first lever was hidden in the room with the door, and the other two levers were in adjacent rooms – in the first adjacent room, the party was attacked by a group of Darkmantles, who tried to engulf Axe and Guy, but they were destroyed by Brixmore. When the Darkmantles were defeated, their magical darkness was lifted, and the 2nd lever became apparent.

The third lever was in a room in a pool of highly corrosive acid, but Brixmore managed to stone shape the area around the lever and pull it. With all of the levers pulled, the door in the center room opened, revealing a staircase with metal technology resembling what the party knew of the high elves.

The party tread carefully down the stairs and into the chamber, where they discovered they were being watched by a high elf, who spoke to them through the walls. As the party made its way towards a room the elf was directing them to, he told Brixmore the story of how he created Brix and his brother, Graxx. According to the elf’s story, he was commissioned by his Emperor to create a perfect living war machine. In doing so, he discovered that he had to use one of the original bloodlines, which were inclined towards creating twins, allowing him to filter all of the faith, goodness, and virtue to one, and the anger, hatred, and aggression to the other. Using Hargrove’s genetic material, he “grew” Brix and Graxx in the womb of a succubus.

Upon reaching the story’s shocking conclusion, the party finds itself in a chamber with the vegetative succubus, now just a head and torso. Disgusted and enraged, Brix attempts to wrest control of the Shiva Sword from Guy, but the rest of the party prevents him from doing so. In response, Brix takes Svarth and begins destroying all of the technology and the succubus.

The elf, pleased with himself, informs the party that he will not allow them to escape, and sends a dozen mephitis after them. The party handily dispatches the mephitis, and Floyd and Brix lead the way back into a the High Elf’s chamber, finding him guarded by an Iron Golem, who provides a challenging fight, although he is ultimately defeated by Axe’s killing blow.

Guy corners the elf and kills him, but the elf’s head dislocates from his body and attempts to escape. However, Virgil sends a searing light spell down the tube which fries the head, and the party takes the elf body and the golem body out of the cave with them (Brix carries the elf in his enlarged state, and Virgil polymorphs into an Umberhulk to carry the golem). On the way out, Floyd finds a half-dozen potions on a rack labeled “Wonderous Potions,” but Guy does not let him drink them, as Floyd is still under the effects of Guy’s charm spell.

End of Session

For the session, the party is awarded 2500 XP.

Guy, Virgil, & Floyd level.

October 11 Game Notes

2009-10-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Game play began with the party beginning their journey to Barovia. On foot, this required them to pass through a sparse, unpopulated wedge of Silar. En route to Barovia, Scaramouch returned. He delivered the report of Fifty Gnome agent Rashoman on code Burrowmaster, revealing Gruth’s spy to be Terick, who had been unwittingly enchanted. The enchantment was dispelled, and no further disciplinary action against Terick was taken. In addition, Scaramouch reported that in accordance with Floyd’s request, the publication of Guy’s autobiography had been expedited, and was now being sent out for duplication.

In addition, Scaramouch delivers a visual image spell, recorded by a spell casting Fifty-Gnome agent:

In what appears to be a room at an inn somewhere, Visgoth is talking to Harves Raeth. As viewed through the keyhole, Visgoth tells Raeth that the Order of the Abbey destroyed his previous lieutenant, and he means to make Raeth his new one. Raeth expresses reluctance at the thought of this idea, indicating that the party has beaten him before. Visgoth assures him that his new powers will make up for the insufficiency, and shows Raeth the Imperial Scepter, revealing that he also has Malus in his thrall. Visgoth then performs the ghastly ritual on him that transforms Harves Raeth into a vampire. Visgoth then teleports from the room (Virgil recognizes the spell), and the Fifty-Gnome agent attempts to get away, but he is caught and killed by the newly vampiric Raeth.

As the boys are left to contemplate the implications of what they have just seen, they begin their journey into Barovia.

Journeying into Barovia, they discovered a vast amount of farmland, and eventually happened upon a Half-Orc named Heinrich who engaged Axe in a friendly manner. Through this, the party was invited to the Village De Feo, a small commune of Half-Orcs that had been rescued and cared for by a devout Halfling woman named DeFeo, now deceased. The party was invited to dine with the commune. Over dinner with Heinrich, the party learns more about Barovia. There are not many towns in the nation. Its capital, Breckendorf, is the largest. In addition, there are towns known as Eagles’ Peak and Ostrogoth, and settlements such as Oslov’s Bones and Gwyneth Crag. There are also two church abbeys, following the teachings of St. Isadora and St. Zachariah.

Due to recent Orc raids in Barovia, trade has been cut off to DeFeo by Eagle’s Peak, who supplied the settlement with meat. The party agrees to help negotiate a new deal for the Half-Orcs and the people of Eagle’s Peak, and to do their best to discourage the Orc raids (Heinrich informs them that the Orc king is known as Thaddanus).

That evening, Virgil tries unsuccessfully to woo a Half-Orc woman. After spending the night, the party wakes up to find the Half-Orcs practicing combat maneuvers outside. Although they are a peaceful people the Half-Orcs practice these maneuvers out of self-defense and as a means of physical fitness training. Impressed, Guy asks Heinrich if he would be willing to train the Freelands army, to which Heinrich replies that it would be best left to Guy or someone else to conduct this training. However, Heinrich is willing to share his knowledge, and a plan is devised to send a military representative here for training to pass on to the army.

Afterwards, Guy, Virgil, Axe, and Brix venture out far from the village to test the Apocalypse sword again, now that it is filled with the blood of the boys. Guy draws the sword, summoning a vastly intimidating storm cloud with lightning, stirring up winds and darkening the world surrounding. After some time spent contemplating this magic, Virgil determines the effect of the Apocalypse Sword:

The Apocalypse Sword creates a 5-foot circle of safety around the wielder. Outside of the circle, for 60 feet surrounding, all living objects take 2D6 points of Constitution Damage – no save, and suffer from a constant (every round) Call Lightning Spell. This circle expands 60 feet per round for as long as the sword is drawn, presumably until it engulfs the earth. As a weapon, the sword is a Maximized +5 Vorpal Brilliant Energy Longsword of Greater Dragonbane. The Sword is sentient, and desires to be disarmed, granting a -8 penalty to the wielder to defend against disarmament.

Armed with this mind-blowingly frightening knowledge, the party once again hides the sword from view, and heads off to the mountains to deal with the orcs.

On the first day in the mountain pass, they encounter a ravine that appears to be an open canyon into a river of molten lava. They camp for the night, and it passes uneventfully.

On the second day, they find an ancient shrine to the Dagda. It seems to have a very old version of a calendar on it, marking such events as the day of the High Feast and each new moon. Scrawled over these letters in old celestial script is the phrase, “Beware the Bellmaker.” Floyd recalls that the Bellmaker is a figure of legend that appears in, but never has a prominent role in many ancient legends and tales. He is an artificer, a creator of magical bells.

The party travels a bit farther, and camps for the night. On Guy’s watch, he notices a familiar low-lying fog creeping in, and immediately awakens the party, informing them that the Wild Hunt has returned. In what is perceived to be in acquiescence to the Hunt’s wishes, the party attempts to flee in terror, deciding to head for the Dagda shrine in the hopes that the Hunt will be unable to enter.

The party manages to get close to the shrine when they are attacked by one of the Hunt’s dogs. Although Guy is able to destroy it, they notice that it requires a tremendous amount of effort to subdue even one dog, and there are many of them and to Floyd and Scaramouch’s dismay, they can fly. Finally, the party fights their way back to the shrine, where the dogs dare not enter. The Hunt Lord, on the other hand, seems to have no such hang-ups about the shrine, and enters to combat the party.

Floyd engages the Hunt Lord in a two hour discussion, trying to convince him to call off the Hunt, but his negotiating tactics eventually come up short against the Hunt Lord’s zeal. He moves to combat the boys, but Virgil manages to dispatch the Hunt Lord with a Dismissal spell. The Hunt Lord is forced to return to his native plane (the dogs follow) for the time being, but from his conversation with Floyd, it is clear that he intends on returning until he finishes the job. The party manages to sleep that night, albeit fitfully.

The remainder of their journey is uneventful until they happen upon the village of Oslov’s Bones, so named because the original city wall was comprised of the skeleton of a Titan. There, they see a parading band of fifty orcs. A couple of well placed Fireballs later, the orcs are dead, and the party proceeds to the Bones.

The original Oslov’s Bones lies in ruins, with a prominent collapsed Bell Tower in the center. On the other side of bones, however, is a new village that has cropped up. The party opens the map with the guide to Visgoth’s soul pieces to obtain the piece in Oslov’s Bones, but are shocked to discover that the piece has since been claimed since the party last looked at the map. The boys decide to head for the new village to investigate.

In the town’s tavern, the party sits down for a drink. Shortly after, a hard-looking fellow comes down the stairs, notices the party, and tries to head back up. However, Floyd snares him with his bardic music, fascinating him, and suggesting that he come down and talk to the party, which he does.

The man identifies himself as Number Four, a member of the Fist of Set, one of the other parties on the hunt for pieces of Visgoth’s soul (this was the group that nearly destroyed Harves Raeth). He reveals that he is one of a five-member team, the leader of which is called The Thumb, and the others are One, Two, Three, and Four (not necessarily in order of importance). Four reveals that the Fist of Set did not get the last soul piece in Barovia, but they know that the Council of Shadows (Jarrod’s organization) did. The Council of Shadows is planning to auction the piece off to the highest bidder, and it is known that in addition to the Fist of Set, Harves Raeth and the Half-Orc group will be there to bid on it.

Having exhausted their questions, Floyd puts a bag on Four’s head, but this has the unintended effect of breaking off the fascination. Four begins to thrash, and the party makes a run for it.

They return to the ruins and to the Bell Tower specifically. Guy is interested in exploring further, so the party ventures down the bell tower steps, discovering a cavern full of fire and lava (it’s very hot down here).They cross a large bridge (over which they see a creature swimming in the lava – something large and serpentine), and come to a set of huge double doors, where they hear hammering within. Venturing inside, they happen upon a fire giant who identifies himself as The Apprentice (the last follower of The Smith). The Apprentice is aware of the party as the legion who brought down Strom, but his allegiance was not to Strom, and he harbors no ill will towards the party. The Apprentice spends his time forging weapons and armor, and the party asks if he will make Axe a suit of armor, which he agrees to do if the party will release the Bellmaker, who is currently being held in captivity in Breckendorf by – guess who – Mitchell.

Brix asks The Apprentice if he has ever heard of Graxx, and The Apprentice warns Brix that he should be careful who he says that name to. Confused, The Apprentice tells him to visit the Baldun Tomb north of Gwyneth Crag for more answers. The Apprentice also tells the party that the creature swimming in the lava is a Hellfire Wyrm, an insidious creature whose stomach is a pipeline to Hell. The boys pledge to return, having freed the Bellmaker, in exchange for a suit of armor for Axe.

The party exits Oslov’s Bones and heads north to Gwyneth Crag. At the cemetery of the Crag, they find many burial plots, but there is only one mausoleum, dedicated to Brix’s family. As they had heard, the tomb is the site of an old-fashioned grave robbing. The body of Hargrove, who has been dead four-hundred years, is missing from its spot.

The party heads into town and chats up the local barman, who directs them to a sage outside of town. The gang travels to his house, finding a lanky old man (still very spry) in a room full of maps. The man, who calls himself Charles (Fox), demands money for the information he has, and after being paid, directs Brixmore to find his answers about Graxx and his family by traveling a couple of days northeast to Darkenhold.

With a whole slew of new action items on their plate, the party departs Fox’s house and heads towards Darkenhold to discover more about Brix’s family.

End of Session

The party is awarded 1,000 XP for the session.

October 4 Game Notes

2009-10-05T10:27:00.000-07:00

Gameplay picked up where we left off at the end of last Sunday, with the party having defeated a group of Chaka baddies in a room with a ziggurat. After defeating everyone, the final Chaka escaped down a fire pole into the ziggurat, and the party followed. Down below, they discovered more goons, and busted them up roundly, collecting some Falchions for the Freelandian army.

Next, the party ventured further into the Chaka chambers, where they encountered a creature called a Roper, which took out Floyd handily (fear not, gentle readers! He was merely incapacitated), and took a mighty effort by everyone to kill. After some restorations were doled out, the party tried to get their hands on a chest, only to discover it was filled with sand and rags.

Moving further in, the adventurers found a room with Griks, and a chamber filled with snakes. Guy and Axe handles the Grixes, while Virgil burned most of the snakes, and Brix roundly smashes the others. A Medusa popped out of the chamber, but Floyd clicked his heels and ended up right next to her, and a couple of well-placed stabs made short work of her. Everyone took some Medusa blood for later magical enchantment, and Floyd kept the head.

Past the snake chamber, there was a room with several stone statues. After fighting through that room, another chest was discovered, this time with some really good stuff in it. However, Floyd, Guy, and Axe were turned to stone by an invisible Medusa causing trouble. Brix and Virgil dispatched her, but they had to rest eight hours so Brix could memorize spells and return the other party members to normal. While Brix rested, Virgil fought another group of Chaka. In addition, Brix and Vigil took out another Roper.

Descending to the bottom level, the party discovered an apothecary, but Floyd detected a cacophony of traps set on the door. Deciding to bypass it, the group made their way in to the final hall, where they fought the boss lady snake and her six Yuan-ti sorcerers. A tough, fiercely fought battle resulted in a win for the party, and some rewards.

After resting, the party made its way back to the apothecary, where Virgil managed to dispel the most heinous traps, and the party looted the room. Then, Virgil became an eagle and flew to tell the people of Nobis that they had been saved, and the rest of the party joined soon after. A big party was thrown in the group’s honor, and Guy obtained the next piece of Visgoth’s soul – a chalice. However, he did not fuse it with the rest of the soul, and gave it to Virgil for safekeeping. The Nobians offered the party a house in town, which Guy and Virgil accept on behalf of The Freelands for the formation of an embassy.

After staying in Nobis a few more days to scribe scrolls, learn spells, rest, etc., the party makes plans to head for Barovia.

End of Session.

Treaure List

PLEASE NOTE
When treasure is assigned, the recipient is in parentheses.
Floyd carries all party items and money in his belt, which has unlimited carrying capacity for coins, and in his backpack, which has additional magical carrying capacity.

WEAPONS / ITEMS
+2 Dagger (Axe)
+2 Short Bow (Axe)
Head Band – grants +2 Listen, +4 Spot, +1 Intelligence (Virgil)
Earring – Allows wearer to listen through walls w/out penalty (Floyd)
3 Scrolls – Dimensional Lock, Eyebite, Mass Hold Person (Virgil)
+4 AC Robes (Floyd)
+2 AC Robes, put into the party kitty after Floyd exchanges for the +4 ones
Necklace of Charisma +2 (Axe)

APOTHECARY ROOM
6 vials of different colors – Red, Blue, Yellow, Orange, Green, & Purple
6 Cure Moderate Potions
3 Cure Serious Potions
2 Bear’s Endurance Potions
1 Cat’s Grace Potion
2 Invisibility Oils
1 True Strike Oil
Several pints of Naptha (a fire oil)
Several Pints of Lantern Oil
Ingredients for Spell Components (Brix & Virgil)
Portable Alchemist’s Lab

BARON HUMPRHEY’S CASTLE
Gold-gilded Goblet – piece of Visgoth’s soul (Virgil)

MONEY
10,000 gp from Medusa Room chest
3,500 pp from final hall

FREELANDS ARMY EQUIPMENT
Several Falchions
6 Scimitars

NPC Profile: Nikolai

2009-10-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

Cardinal Nikolai was the alias of Argoth, Lord of Hell, during his time in Western Aggravail in which he attempted to sieze power in the Universal Church and use a generation of Year of the Ram children to fulfill several apocalyptic prophecies. As Nikolai, he was the Cardinal of Arimathea.

Nikolai first entered prominence in the game while the party members were still children living at the Morningstar Abbey. One evening shortly after the party's first adventure, a dwarf traveling north through Arimathea stopped at the abbey to spend the night; over dinner, he told the brothers and the boys the news that the old Cardinal of Arimathea had died, and Nikolai had been named his replacement. This news upset Abbott Teris very much, not only because of his good relationship with the old Cardinal, but also because of Teris' distrust of Nikolai. It is not clear exactly how much Teris knew or suspected of Nikolai, but he never directly implicated him as Argoth or any other kind of infernal outsider.

Shortly after this news, Nikolai sent Faust and Barris to the abbey to end Teris' tenure as Abbott. They succeeded, but did not manage to capture the six boys from the Year of the Ram, as it is suspected Nikolai may have instructed them to do.

After the party finished their apprenticeships and training, they began adventuring in the Twilight Lands, and largely lost track of Nikolai and his activities. In the course of an early adventure, Guy encountered a Ravvid who made Guy promise to one day destroy Cardinal Nikolai's ring, although it was unclear why.

The party did not encounter Nikolai again (except through a run-in with Faust), until a good while later, when they were taken prisoner in Arimathea and placed in the dungeon of the Cathedral of Arimathea. There, they met Nikolai for the first time. Nikolai demanded that the boys pledge their services to him. When they refused, Nikolai stormed out, claiming to already have a Year of the Ram child under his control. In addition, during this capture, Nikolai obtained the Imperial Scepter from the party, which gave him control over Malus.

Upon their escape from the Cathedral, the party, Art, and Ethan happened upon Nikolai's chambers, where they found a large summoning circle that required a considerable amount of evil to create. The boys destroyed the summoning circle, and promptly left the Cathedral.
Later, while traveling in the Bodian Protectorates, they foiled a plot by Nikolai to assasinate Cardinal Aloe, one of Nikolai's political enemies. The party dispatched Barris, who had been sent to carry out the job, and obtained a ring that allowed them to communicate with Nikolai.
When the party founded The Freelands, Nikolai attended the summit of nations along with Luth, King of Arimathea, Lord of the West, Doogal's twin brother, and a member of the Year of the Ram lineage. Nikolai's intent on attending these meetings was to coerce the party into signing the Church Treaty, which The Freelands decided not to do.

Shortly thereafter, Nikolai traveled to Larst, where he began a campaign to have the Universal Church's College of Cardinals choose a pontifical leader. The party traveled to Larst to attempt to influence these discussions as they were certain that Nikolai intended to win the election. The party uncovered a massive conspiracy of bribery and mercenary-dom, paid in gold coins that Brixmore determined to have been forged in Hell from the souls of the damned. This raised considerable alarm among the party, and Brixmore developed an elaborate and dramatic plan to reveal the bribes' infernal influence and to destroy the money.

The party attended several debates and conferences on the matter of elections, even going so far as to back their own candidate. When the election came down to two parties, the party summoned a massive representation of Western Aggravail's power into attendance, including King Gorom of Tutia, several Seekers, members of the Fellowship of the Golden Eagle, Illrean Rangers, Fifty Gnomes, and other governmental and heroic agencies. Under enormous pressure from the College of Cardinals and other agencies to account for accusations brought before him, Nikolai took the podium of the debate hall in the Basilica and revealed himself as Argoth, Lord of Hell.

This revelation ignited the Battle for the Basilica, an enormous skirmish that resulted in the deaths of several innocents, Churchmen, and heroes. After destroying an artifact found by Herbert (the 2nd Gnome of the Fifty Gnomes) in the catacombs of the Basilica that kept Argoth impervious from harm, confronting and defeating (but not killing) Malus, and wading through an army of infernal creatures, the party confronted and destroyed the material prescence of Nikolai / Argoth, forcing him back to Hell.

Nikolai's revelation and death spurred massive reform of the Universal Church, creating a widespread distrust of the Church hierarchy that will take a long time to rebuild.

Decisions, Decisions

2009-10-01T09:10:00.000-07:00

I've started putting some of our game material up at a website called http://www.obsidianportal.com/.

Obsidian Portal is a site that's designed to host D&D games - in addition to a blog (or adventure log), it gives you a wiki, an NPC tracker, space to put maps, a campaign overview, and all that jazz I've been doing amateurishly over here. It would really be the ideal space to follow the game.

However, I like the ease of the blog. Sure, I can't get that fancy with it, but I don't know that I'll get rid of The Adventures of Floyd Fiftynames simply because most (of the what, eight?) readers of this blog will not want to go to the trouble of creating a profile for Obsidian Portal, and then wade through all the other stuff to get to our game. This blog, on the other hand, you can check, see if there's an update, read, or move on. It's very low-maintainence.

In other news, we're reaching the point where my game-by-game logs started to taper off, so I won't be posting game notes as companions to Floyd's installments for a while. I do have notes for the gaps, but they are large and encompass ten to fifteen sessions at a time, so I won't post them until I've covered everything in puppet show so as not to spoil the plot for anyone who doesn't know what's going on. Granted, some of the NPC profile stuff has already done that, but... shut up.

New notes and Puppet Musical installments soon.

PC Profile: Floyd Fiftynames

2009-09-29T14:41:00.000-07:00

Floyd Fiftynames does not know where he was born. Since he was an infant, he had been raised in The Morningstar Abbey, a non-combatant, religious brotherhood in northern Arimathea, a southwestern country on a continent known as Western Aggravail. Floyd, along with his twin brother Guy, grew up at the Abbey and served as an apprentice to the brothers of the Abbey. Specifically, Floyd was apprenticed to Brother Art, the monastery's quartermaster. Along with his brother Guy, Floyd's friends are the other boys his age who live at the Abbey - the dwarf Brixmore, and humans Virgil, Eric, and Zarin.

When he is sixteen years old, Floyd learns that he and the other boys his age at the Abbey are members of a group known as the Year of the Ram, a select group made unique by the fact that they are born during an annual (recurring every 50 years) wherein births rarely occur. The six boys at the Abbey are half of the only twelve that were born during this year, and the monastery's chief, Abbott Teris, believes that they boys born in this Year of the Ram cycle are bound to fulfill many prophecies about the upcoming fate of the world.

After the shocking news of his origin (compounded by the death of Abbott Teris and the administrative changes made at the Morningstar Abbey), Floyd and his contemporaries are sent off to various adventurers to begin learning necessary skills. Floyd is apprenticed to a minstrel named Titus, who starts Floyd on the path to becoming a bard.

After two years, their training is complete, and four of the boys re-assemble: Floyd, Guy, Virgil, and Brixmore. Eric remains on the periphery doing furhter research into their heritage, and Zarin is heard from very sparingly. Floyd begins adventuring with his brother and their two friends, whereupon they almost immediately fall into some serious business.

Floyd's exploits become known far and wide largely due to Floyd himself, who is a prolific songwriter and talented performer. Floyd tells the tale of the self-christened "Order of the Abbey," through songs, storytelling, and an on-going puppet musical.

Floyd eventually becomes a licensed bard at the now defunct Bardic College of the nation of Illrea, and he is a founding member and author of the bylaws of the League of Bards and Skalds, a branch of an Adventurer's Guild formed after the epic Battle for the Basilica of Larst. In addition, Floyd is a founding member and original Executive Council Member of The Freelands, a democratic nation founded in the former anarchic Twilight Lands. Floyd has since resigned his position on the Council, finding the life of a statesman and politician unsuitable to him, although he has retained his position as the Fiftieth Gnome of the Fifty Gnomes, an intelligence and operatives organization founded in The Freelands by Floyd to be an agency for The Freelands and democracy throughout the continent.

Floyd is a devout agnostic, despite the overt religious symbolism of his birthright. He is a member of the ancient House of Bostwick, one of the original high families of Western Aggravail. Floyd tends toward a life of comfort and ease, and is more often than note driven towards adventure by Guy, Brixmore, and Virgil, who have aggressive personal agendas they wish to promote. However, despite this lack of drive, Floyd is an avid and eager swordsman, and enjoys diving into a good fight (particularly when it seems winnable).

Floyd values friendship very highly. In addition to the inseperable bond he shares with his brother and adventuring companions, he has found many friends and like souls in the Fifty Gnomes' organization, including Ajax, the original First Gnome, who replaced him on The Freelands' Executive Council, and Scaramouche, his young Copper Dragon co-hort. In addition, Floyd is fond of Garam, Abbott Art, Bjorn (formerly Eric), Bricka, Pskenart, and many others. Although he occasionally comes to disagreements with some of his fellow party members (particularly Guy and Virgil), he views them as family, and worth overcoming any disagreements.

Floyd maintains an easygoing relationship with the ladies, preferring no hard and fast commitments. As far as types are concerned, he has a thing for seamstresses and laundresses.
Floyd actively dislikes very few people, and when he does, it's usually because they have done something to deserve it. Floyd was once the victim of identity theft when another Gnome bard named Mitchell played Floyd's songs and claimed them for his own, but Floyd managed to eventually deal with the Mitchell situation without need for bloodshed. In addition, Floyd has no love for followers of the lizardfolk's pagan god Krissk, finding them unreasonably difficult to talk to. He finds Centaurs haughty, religious types hypocritical, and Gruth to be a major d-bag.

Floyd's eventual ambition is to retire as the greates adventurer / entertainer who ever lived. He has designs on the purchase and renovation of The Cracked Flagon, an inn in the unincorporated part of The Freelands, as it was the site of many fond memories. He plans to remain with the Fifty Gnomes organization, and to enjoy good food, fun, and cheer for as many days as he has.

September 2009 Session Notes

2009-09-28T12:58:00.000-07:00

What follows are the notes from our September 2009 sessions. Again, these monthly notes are out of sequence, and reflect what has been happening most recently with the game.

Sessions:

September 20
September 27

September 20 Notes:

After completing their business at the carnival, the party headed south to the Abbey to pick up Guy, then east to Guy’s Port. On the way to Guy’s Port, they passed Malus’ farm, noting that the area had not been tended in quite some time, and the corn crop had begun to grow wild. At the edge of the field, they found a spot where a box had been unearthed. Discussing the matter with a gopher did Guy no good, but the party did find an open wooden box not far from the dig site. The box did not appear to be shaped for holding a body, and the current hypothesis is that it held a weapon of some sort.

Floyd sends Scaramouche with a letter to Rashoman, the FiftyGnome at work on operation Burrowmaster, to see what developments have been made in the case. He instructs Scaramouche to find him in Nemia.

The gang proceeded to Guy’s Port, where they booked passage on a ship bound for Barradon, a coastal town in the country of Nemia. Virgil expressed a desire sew some oats with the captain of the ship, a woman named Amies, and Floyd aided Virgil’s effort to the best of his ability. The results were disappointing.

The trip itself was fairly uneventful until the end, when it became apparent that a hurricane was approaching. Thanks to Floyd’s inspirational singing and speaking and Brix’s spellcasting, the ship made it into port just ahead of the storm. Floyd was exhausted, but Guy removed his exhaustion so that they could run up the steps to the town, and seek refuge in a Barradonian tavern called (name?). Mere moments before the storm hit, Dr. Ethan joined them at the tavern.

While riding out the storm, Ethan revealed to the party that the reason he had asked them to come to Nemia was because he had located his daughter Ashlynn (Visgoth’s chief lieutenant) living in this town. Determined to destroy her, he enlists the party’s help. The boys are to attack Ashlynn at her residence in town, and defeat her, forcing her to retreat to the location of her coffin, where Ethan will deliver the final blows.

After the storm, Ethan shows the boys the cave where Ashlynn’s coffin is located, and the house where she conducts business. Sensing that there may be some trouble leaving Ethan to destroy his only daughter, Virgil casts a word of recall on the cave so that he can quickly arrive and assist Ethan and ensure that nothing goes awry with the plan.

At the residence, the party waits for the appropriate moment, then storms the house, easily dispatching the low-level guards inside. Ashlynn herself proves to be much more difficult, as she placed numerous traps in the house to deter intruders, and enlisted a pair of dopplegangers which explode when destroyed. Finally, after the dopplegangers and Ashlynn are defeated, she turns into mist and retreats to her coffin. Virgil attempts to use his word of recall, but finds it has been dispelled, likely by Ethan.

The party runs towards the cave. Virgil, aided by an Expeditious Retreat spell, arrives first, just as Ethan has successfully destroyed his daughter. The toll it has taken is extensive, and Ethan tells Virgil he cannot live with himself after having to endure this task. He asks Virgil to promise that the party will make it their mission to defeat and eradicate Visgoth, to which Virgil agrees. Ethan then falls to his death from the precipice of a cliff by the cave.

Brixmore and Guy arrive and retrieve Ethan’s body, burying it in the cave next to his daughter. Virgil stoneshapes the mouth of the cave shut, and inscribes a simple mark to notate the burial site of one of the party’s oldest friends and mentors.

The group returns to Ashlynn’s house to find it has been looted of all valuables by the guards. Feeling unsatisfied and hollow, the party contemplates its next move.

September 27 Notes:

Gameplay starts off with the party in Barradon, shopping around for equipment that would bring Axe’s gear up to speed with the rest of the gang. After looking around in some of the local shops, they determine that the best prices available are in Dreia, and that shopping will need to be tabled until they return home. In the meantime, Brixmore loans Axe his shield, significantly boosting Axe’s magical gear quotient, and beginning Brix’s transition into a two-handed holy war machine.

Guy purchases a travel guide to Nemia and a city map, and begins plotting a course to bore Virgil and Floyd with a trip around the Holy Land. While the trip is being planned, Virgil spends a few days scribing scrolls, and Floyd plays the Barradon taverns, earning a few gold, and learning about the goings-on in Nemia.

Floyd learns that Nemia has been treasure-searched out, but that there are legends to be explored as the party travels north. In addition, he hears tell of dark times for the northern Nemian city of Nobis, and decides that the group should investigate the goings-on. This works out coincidentally as Guy determines that Nobis is the closest town to the next missing piece of Visgoth’s soul.

The gang disembarks from Barradon and visits the site of the Proclaimer’s first proclaiming. Guy and Brix take this trip very seriously, so Floyd and Virgil do their best to hang back and stay interested in something out of earshot. Axe, meanwhile, becomes interested in the teachings of the Proclaimer, giving Guy and Brix a focal point for their lecturing and praying.

Next up, the party visits the site of the hanging. In stark contrast to the simple marker of the first site, the Bishop at the site, one Bishop Rory (silk robes and all), has turned the site of the hanging into a veritable religious Graceland. Exorbitant admission prices and souvenier / trinket prices are charged to all who enter, and Guy, Brix, and Axe begrudgingly pay the admission price and pray at the site, which gives them a boost to their wisdom for a time. Brix attempts to give a sermon at the site, but he is forbidden. Suppressing their anger at the commercialization of the site, the party leaves.

The group heads to the site of the ascension, and finds it more simple and peaceful. Guy, Brix, and Axe take it all in, and the pilgrimage chapter of the session comes to an end.

From the ascension site, the boys head to Nobis. As they reach town, they find that everyone is very happy to see them, and eager for them to be happy with their stay. The townspeople escort the party to the inn, where they are met by Helga, the proprietress. Helga tells the boys that they are welcome because the news of the bad situation in Nobis has reached the surrounding lands, and visitors and commerce have all but disappeared. The townsfolk are also hopeful, based on the party’s appearance, that they might want to help with the problem.

That evening, Baron Humphrey, the local ruler of Nobis arrives at the tavern and meets with the gang up in a private room. There, he explains a less-than-human sect has been terrorizing Nobis, demanding material goods such as game meat, gold, and recently, human sacrifice. He is careful to describe three distinct types – the monsters themselves, whom the Baron calls “Chaka,” their humanoid, skinless servants, and a figure clad in black who arrived after Nobis put up an initial resistance to the Chakas’ bullying who has the ability to emit a terrible scream. These Chaka come from the north, and demand sacrifice from the town once per week. This reign of terror has been going on for almost eight months. Furthermore, the next visitation is scheduled to take place the next night.

The party pledges their help in any way they can provide it, and sets about preparing for the battle. After a night’s rest, Virgil polymorphs into an eagle and flies north, looking for signs of their encampment. He spies a castle, a house, and a place with smoke, but his animal instincts prevent him from exploring much more. Meanwhile, back at the tavern, Floyd keeps the townspeople from being a nuisance to the rest of the party by regaling them with stories of the boys’ exploits and making the citizens of Nobis feel confident about the party’s chances against the Chaka.

Helga approaches Axe and tells him that they may be able to learn more about the Chaka by visiting an old paramour of hers, Sien, a woodsman who lives in the forest outside of the town. Guy, Brix, Virgil, and Axe go to visit Sien, who, after disabling a trap Axe almost triggers, lets them into his home. Sien lives a Spartan life, but he has a wicked cool bow that Virgil admires.

Sien tells the boys that the group that Nobis knows as the “Chaka” is actually a sect of a cult that worship the pagan god Toth. The Chaka themselves are snake-people, and their servants, referred to as “Changed Ones,” are former humanoid races made to resemble snakes. The leader of this sect is an individual known as Yuantiki.

Sien and Vigil talk bows for a bit, and exchange a few arrows with each other for good measure, then the group returns to the town. After explaining the Sien encounter to Floyd, the party gets set for the arrival of the Snake-folk.

Virgil and Brix position themselves at the North end of town to prevent the escape of the cultists, and Axe, Guy, and Floyd wait in the tavern with Baron Humphrey. When the cultists arrive, they take the sacrifices of gold and meat, but do not demand a person this time. However, it’s moot since Virgil drops a fireball on the cultists and Guy carves up the one guy remaining. An illusory version of Yuantiki shows up to inform Baron Humphrey that Nobis is now doomed.

The party gets eight hours of shut-eye and then heads out to the cultists’ lair. After attempting to check for traps, the party eventually sets off an alarm and a horde Changed Ones surround the party. A fight ensues, but it is largely one-sided as the party easily bests the low-level creatures. Proceeding through, the party encounters four large snakes, who try to swallow the heroes. Those snakes are defeated handily, and the party continues into a room where they see an individual being transformed into a Changed One. There are Chaka, Changed Ones, and vipers throughout the room. Big fight, and the room is cleared out by the gang. One Chaka escapes, and when Brixmore goes to investigate how he disappeared, he finds there is a hole at the top of the ziggurat in the room. As they ponder their next move, it is the end of the session.

Significant NPCs in The Order of the Abbey Campaign

2009-09-25T13:25:00.001-07:00

As of today, The Order of the Abbey has been a weekly running campaign since August 26, 2007. Although we have probably missed more sessions than we would like to admit, we have easily played at least 75 sessions during that stretch. In a game of such scope and size, it is probably no surprise that the campaign has come to have over three hundred significant NPCs, and the number is still growing. What follows is a list of considerably important NPCs as well as guest PCs (those who have played at the table on a non-weekly basis). I will not take the time to describe them herein, only rest assured that each and every one of the characters listed will be the subject of an NPC Profile at some point in the future. It is certainly possible that more names will be added to this list as well.

Characters with an asterisk (*) already have had their profile written.

KEY NPCs

Abbott (formerly Brother) Art
Abbott Teris*
Ajax
Alvin
Barris
Bart
Bjorn, formerly known as Eric
Bricka
Brother Abel
Brother Jarrod
Brother Samared
Cardinal Aloe
Cardinal Nikolai
Doogal
Doovin
Dr. Ethan*
Eric, formerly known as Bjorn
Faust
Garam
Garvey
Goldschmiddt*
Gruth
Harves Raeth
Havern
Herbert
King Gorom
Kleppos
Liam Strongbow
Lil' Skimpy
Luth
Malus*
Mason
McGrath
Mitchell
Murdoch
Oak
Orin
Pope Benedict I
Prince Calay
Pskenart
Rumplemintz
Sally
Scaramouche
Sebastian
Sikator
Strom
Terick
The Allfather
The Bandit King of Clovica
The Duke of Darkenhold
The Harvester
The Huntmaster
The Proclaimer
The Winter Queen
Tok
Uru
Vain
Viggio
Visgoth
Yalla Sola
Zarin (also known as Linus)

I also would like to see each of the PCs write profiles of themselves at some point, but I thought it would be worthwhile to give you some idea of where we're going here.

NPC Profile: Dr. Ethan

2009-09-25T13:23:00.001-07:00

When Dr. Ethan is first introduced to the story, he is a long-time resident of the Morningstar Abbey, though unlike many who reside there, he is not one of its brothers. It is assumed that Dr. Ethan lives at the Abbey because of the religious aspect of his missions and because of his long standing friendship with Abbott Teris.

Ethan is presented as a dark, serious figure, but in spite of this, he is neither sullen or anti-social. He dresses in dark clothing and frequently disappears from the Abbey on one of his missions, only to return bruised, scratched, and cut. Of all of the inhabitants at the Abbey, he is the one who appears the most outwardly ready for a fight.

Dr. Ethan was given Brixmore the dwarf as his charge, and as his apprentice, Brixmore comes to appreciate the need to abolish and destroy the undead. Shortly before the party began adventuring, Dr. Ethan began to figure into their lives much more prominently. Ethan showed a willingness to include the boys of the Abbey in missions, enlisting their help in the destruction of a burgeoning vampire, and entrusting them to bring a mysterious vial to Viggio, a friend of the doctor who lived in Verl’s Crook. Initially Ethan earned the distrust of Guy and the contempt of Floyd, but on the night that Abbott Teris died and the party left the Abbey, the entire party had come to trust Ethan as an ally.

Although they do not see Dr. Ethan again for some time, the party learns early on while adventuring that Ethan is a friend and colleague of Garam, a gnome wizard they begin working for who lives outside of the town of Dreia in the Twilight Lands. Through Garam, they discover that Garam and Ethan are both members of an organization called the Seekers, a continental-wide contingent of experts who focus their energies on specific kinds of monsters (Ethan with undead, Garam with the Unseely Court, or the fey, etc.).

The party catches up with Ethan at the Cracked Flagon one day when he writes them for help with a mission he is working on. This mission turns out to be one for scouting and observing the activities of a very powerful vampire named Visgoth as he meets with the Fey Queen of the Unseely Court. The party discovers one of the roots of Ethan’s dedication and interest in the destruction of the undead – Visgoth’s chief lieutenant is Ethan’s daughter Ashlynn, his only child.

Ethan serves as a useful conduit of information for the PCs, giving them background information on the history of the Church, the Proclaimer, and the Betrayer (who the party believes has become The Harvester). He possesses several religious artifacts, including three of the twelve pieces of silver used to betray the Proclaimer, each of which has magical properties. In addition, he teaches Guy how to magically detect the presence of evil, and he provides the party with pieces of Kingsfoil, a rare and valuable herb that can remove evil diseases, curses, and the like.

Dr. Ethan is often present to provide cautions to the party before they embark on particularly dangerous quests. He is present at the Battle of the Cracked Flagon and the Battle for the Basilica, as well as joining the party, Garam, and others for a critical dinner meeting with Visgoth. To Ethan’s credit, he manages to contain his rage at this meeting, knowing full well that his efforts in this fight would be futile.

Ethan becomes less and less of a fixture over time in the PCs lives, but for his last mission, he reunites with them so that they can help. Traveling by ship to Nemia, the PCs discover that Dr. Ethan has located the hideout and base of operations on the eastern end of the continent that is run by Ashlynn for her master Visgoth. Ethan scouts and discerns the location of her tomb, and prepares himself to finish her when the PCs confront and defeat her at her hideout location in Nemia’s coastal city of Barradon. The party is successful at driving her back to her coffin, and Ethan finishes the job.

This endeavor naturally puts Ethan into a deep despair, and he finds he cannot live with himself after what he has been forced to do. He pauses for one last conversation with Virgil, in which Ethan pleads with him to see to it that the PCs do one day face and destroy Visgoth once and for all. Virgil agrees, and Ethan, seeking peace at long last, hurls himself off a cliff and into the bay. His body is recovered by Guy and Brixmore, and the party buries him next to his daughter, sealing off the cave where they are interred.

Of all of the mentors the PCs had at the Morningstar Abbey as children, Ethan has been far and away the one most involved in the party’s adventuring life as adults. While his sacrifice seems heartbreaking and unnecessary to the boys, he will always be remembered fondly.

Session XX (Completed): Floyd's Puppet Theatre Interpretation

2009-09-23T13:20:00.000-07:00

The Order of the Abbey, Part Four: Dealin’ with Doogal
Act IV

Curtain opens on the streets of COMPASSGATE. Citizens walk the streets, which are decorated with garland and ribbon. Wreaths and bells hang from the doors of shopkeepers. A VENDOR with a cauldron on the corner is selling hot beverages. A sign next to him reads – “Nogs, Cider, and Spiced Chocolate!”

Citizen #1 exits a shop, holding the door open for CITIZEN #2.

CITIZEN #1: Happy Yule!
CITIZEN #2: Why, thank you! Same to you!
CITIZEN #1:
Sings
Oh-ho-ho, can you feel it in the air?
An annual occasion that’s so special ‘cause it’s rare?
A very special season that each and everyone can share,
It’s the time of the Yule!

A SHOPKEEP opens his door, as citizens stream in, buying what-nots.

SHOPKEEP:
The spices and the flavors that are wafting down the street
Put a smile on the face of every customer I greet
Who arrive with saved up gold to buy their families a treat
It’s the time of the Yule!

Two LADIES exit the shop with gift bags.

LADIES:
The year has not been kind to us,
We’ve had to pinch and squeeze,
But eating’s over-rated,
And we need to decorate our trees!
VENDOR:
I purcha-sed this sugar for a reasonable price
And when combined with chocolate and season-ed with spice
It produces an aroma that is really rather nice
And indicative of the Yule!
LADY #1:
Spoken:
My husband and I own a sugar farm outside of town. Why didn’t you buy from us?
VENDOR: Imported sugar sells for half of what domestic costs these days, madam!
LADY #1: But now I have no money to buy your wassail!
LADY #2: None of us do!
LADY #1: Whom do you expect will buy your wares?
VENDOR: Wealthy tourists.
LADY #2: Good luck with that.

FLOYD and BRIXMORE enter.

FLOYD: Ooh! Hot drinks! (to the VENDOR) I’ll take a keg of each.
LADY #1: Son of a bitch.
BRIXMORE: Floyd – how do you expect to carry these kegs around?
FLOYD: Carry?

FLOYD pulls out a straw.

BRIXMORE: Never mind.
FLOYD: To our first Yule celebration since leaving the Abbey!
Sings:
Oh-ho-ho, can you feel it in the air?
Compassgate is spending money like they don’t even care,
And everyone else is singing, so I’ll thank you not to stare,
It’s the time of the Yule!
BRIX:
The city is all decorated up in evergreen
It’s a pagan celebration the Proclaimer would demean
And yet a joy-ful-ous occa-sion like I have never seen
It’s the time of the Yule!

CHRIS TENNISON enters.

CHRIS TENNISON:
Look at the crazy deal I got
On these fancy longswords!
The economy’s been left to rot
And I reap the rewards!

GUY and VIRGIL enter.

GUY:
Have you noticed that the streets are free of guard staff and police?
VIRGIL:
Marshall Drooley sent them home to their family and feast
GUY & VIRGIL:
Which leaves the town wide open now for Doogal to come and fleece
FLOYD:
It’s the time of the Yule!
Spoken:
Sorry, that’s the way the verses have to end.
GUY: This is serious business.
CITIZEN #1: Nonsense, young master gnome! The Yule is a season of joy and frivolity. For merry-making, and dancing!
GUY: But what if – and just go with me on this – someone were to attack your city today?
CITIZEN #1: Well, we would overwhelm them –
GUY: All right.
CITIZEN #1: With good cheer!
GUY: God-dammit.
CITIZEN #1:
Sings:
Oh-ho-ho, can you feel it in the air?
An annual occasion that’s so special ‘cause it’s rare?
A very special season that each and everyone can share,
It’s the time of the Yule!

MARSHALL DROOLEY enters, drunk, riding a broom dressed as a donkey.

DROOLEY:
Good Yule, all! Let us put on a parade
We can ride atop these new mounts that I have made
And afterwards at my place everyone’s gonna get laid
‘Cause it’s time for the Yule!

DROOLEY exits into the courthouse.

VIRGIL:
They’re sitting ducks for Doogal’s gang,
Don’t you think so, Guy?
How do we rescue Compassgate?
GUY:
We could just let them die.

Spoken:

VIRGIL: That doesn’t take care of the Doogal problem.
GUY: It sure as hell takes care of the Drooley problem. (Off VIRGIL’s look) Okay, okay, how about this? When Doogal marches into Compassgate, he’s gonna go straight for the courthouse to set up operations, right? Let’s go in there and wait for him.
FLOYD: Can you guys help me carry my wassail in?
GUY: No, but I’ll do the next best thing.
Sings:
Good citizens of Compassgate, you know my brother Floyd,
Well, receive the overwhelming generosity he’s deployed
If you do not drink his wassail he is sure to get annoyed
Come celebrate the Yule!

A crowd gathers around FLOYD and his barrels. They enjoy heaping ladles of his beverages.

CROWD:
Three cheers for Floyd, Hip Hip, hooray,
he’s truly made our day
we take back all those things we said
about you being super gay!

Spoken:

GUY: Still need help?

FLOYD looks at his empty barrels.

FLOYD: Nope, you took care of it.
GUY: Good. Let’s go to the courthouse.

GUY, FLOYD, VIRGIL, CHRIS TENNISON, and BRIXMORE exit into the courthouse.

CROWD:
Sings:
Oh-ho-ho, can you feel it in the air?
An annual occasion that’s so special ‘cause it’s rare?
A very special season that each and everyone can share,
It’s the time of the Yule!

Button. Exeunt. The street flies out, showing the courthouse behind it. GUY, FLOYD, VIRGIL, BRIXMORE, and CHRIS TENNISON enter. From opposite, the JUDGE enters.

JUDGE:
Sings:
I’m the judge, I’m the judge –
VIRGIL:
Spoken:
Not now.

The JUDGE exits haughtily. A RECEPTIONIST enters.

RECEPTIONIST: How may I help you?
VIRGIL: We’re here to see Drooley.
RECEPTIONIST: Marshall Drooley is sleeping in his office right now, and I’m afraid he’s not seeing visitors.
GUY: Floyd.

FLOYD produces his pipe.

FLOYD: Here’s a little tune you’re sure to find “fascinating.”
GUY: Just play.

FLOYD starts to play an arpeggio on his pipe, but instead of music, the pipe produces a magic bubble. The bubble bursts and a BROWNIE appears.

BROWNIE:
Sings:
Now Mitchell authored this song,
But you can claim you wrote this one too,
In fact scream it out into to the world
Until you’re black and blue

Truth is no one will believe you
Because anyone can see,
You’ll never be a songsmith
Even half as good as me.

Your fencing is pathetic,
Your songs are really bad,
And those fifty names just means you are
fifty times as sad.

An embarrassment to Gnomes,
And a bard you’ll never be.
‘Cause you’ll never be a songsmith
Even half as good as me.

Now Floyd has no honor,
Code Duello he did break,
I bested him (and could again),
But no Item could I take.

How can you look in the mirror,
At a face so cowardly,
And you’ll never be a songsmith,
Even half as good as me.

Your friends are uncouth ruffians,
Hired thugs the whole lot,
It’s just a matter of time before your party,
Is beheaded hung or shot.

And I hope I’m there to see it,
Just to remind you for posterity,
That you never were a songsmith,
Even half as good as me.

Button. Spoken:

This concludes the requirements of my Geas. Peace out!

The BROWNIE disappears with a *POP!*

CHRIS TENNISON: It’s a Yule Time miracle!
BRIX: Wow.
FLOYD: You’re telling me. Mitchell used a geas to force that little man to write a song and pretend that Mitchell wrote it, then sing it to me.

GUY turns his attention to the RECEPTIONIST.

GUY: Look, just let us through, okay?
RECEPTIONIST: I don’t think so.
GUY: Rage…building…
VIRGIL: Lady, do you have any combat training?
RECEPTIONIST: Not as such, no.
VIRGIL: Then you might want to move. That gnome has killed people less defenseless than you for dumber reasons than this.

DROOLEY enters.

DROOLEY: Why is it so noisy out here? What’s going on?

GUY cuts DROOLEY in half.

VIRGIL: Guy! God –

HORNS from outside.

BRIX: That sounds like our cue, lads.
CHRIS TENNISON: Let’s go stop the invasion.

Exeunt all but VIRGIL.

VIRGIL: - Damn.

The streets of Compassgate fly back in. The party enters from the courthouse, meeting CITIZEN #1 on their way.

BRIX: Citizen #1 – what’s going on?
CITIZEN #1: My name is Roger.

An arrow flies in and lands in CITIZEN #1’s heart. He falls over, dead. CITIZEN #2 enters.

CITIZEN #2: Roger!
BRIX: Citizen #2 – what’s going on?
CITIZEN #2: There’s a whole army invading – Lizardfolk, kobolds, giants, and more! All of our guards are on leave for the holiday – we’re defenseless!

A third CITIZEN enters.

CITIZEN #3: But we’re in luck! An army led by the hero Doogal has come out to challenge the evil forces for the city!
CITIZEN #2: Hooray!

The two LADIES enter.

LADY #2: Doogal has defeated the advancing army! Compassgate is safe!
CITIZEN #3: It’s truly a Yule Time miracle!
Sings:
Oh-ho-ho can you feel it in the air?

Spoken:

GUY: No! Don’t you understand? Doogal is in charge of both armies! This was all a ploy – a ruse to make you believe that he saved you!
LADY #1: Why should we believe you?
FLOYD: Believe me! I gave you all my wassail, did I not?
CITIZEN #2: It’s true! He did!
FLOYD: Well, I’m here to tell you now that Doogal is a bad man – not the kind, benevolent savior you’ve been led to think he is!
LADY #2: Tell us more!
FLOYD:
Sings:
Doogal
Doogal is a bad man
He eats onions and cheese and garlic
And he never washes his hands
Because his name is Doogal
Yeah, they call him Doogal,
The bad, bad man.

Doogal is a bad man
And he won’t respect your dad –
If your dad comes to visit you at college
And you’ve got issues concerning your dad;
You want to impress him,
But Doogal won’t help you
That’s why they call him Doogal
Doogal the bad, bad man.

He’ll never help you clean the place
The place that you’ve shared together
For so many years now
And he says you shouldn’t tell them,
But the secret you’ve held so long
About you and Doogal
And his homosex’wal tendencies,
That you know will just hurt his career
Which is why they’ve never known
How he’s licked your taint in the dark –
How Doogal once licked Floyd’s hairy, hairy taint
Because he is gay
And what’s more important when it comes to Doogal,
He’s a bad, bad man.

Once upon a time there was a puppy
Who just wanted to go home to see his family
So he hopped up on his donkey –
Cause that’s what kind of puppy this was,
It was a puppy who worked real hard and got himself a job
With enough money to buy a donkey
And he was riding on the road,
Riding to see his family whom he hadn’t seen
Nigh on in many months,
And Doogal saw this puppy,
And he said, “wha… what’s this?
“What is this puppy doing riding a donkey?”
Cause that’s the kind of guy Doogal was –
It would never occur to him that a puppy,
An adorable 10 week old puppy,
A golden retriever puppy
With fuzzy orange fur and a left ear
That would flap back on occasion,
Exposing the pink ear inside,
I mean, it’s so cute when puppies do that! –
And that’s the kind of puppy I’m talking about,
Yeah, Doogal would never think
That a puppy like this would work sixty hour weeks
At the forge where he works
For a drunken, shell of a smithee,
With no family and no friends,
And he expects the puppy back at 9 a.m. sharp
On the day after Yule day
To start working on those orders
And processing, processing
All of those returns
So this puppy ain’t got but a few precious hours
To spend with his family,
And when he’s worked so hard to get this donkey
Only to face this kind of bigotry,
Well, you and I both know that it ain’t right,
But here’s Doogal, pulling that shit,
And Doogal says, “a puppy shouldn’t have a donkey –“
So he takes away that donkey
And he sells that donkey in Larst,
While the puppy starves on the side of the road
And his corpse is used as a necromancer’s lap dog,
Hmmm.

Hmmmmmmm.
Ohhh, the indignity of it all
All because of Doogal,
Doogal the bad, bad man.

Button.

TRUMPETS SOUND, and DOOGAL enters, a Halfling, with an entourage including GRUTH. The crowd erupts in boos and jeers.

DOOGAL:
Spoken:
This is not at all what I expected. Who are you people?
FLOYD: I’m Floyd Fiftynames, acting Marshall of Compassgate.
CITIZEN #3: What happened to Marshall Drooley?
FLOYD: Long story. Anyway, what’s your purpose here, Doogal?
DOOGAL: I just want to talk to the citizens of Compassgate, that’s all.
FLOYD: Well, they don’t want to talk to you, Doogal.
LADY #1: That’s right!
CITIZEN #2: Go home, Doogal!
VENDOR: Would you like to buy some wassail?
DOOGAL: Very well. I’ll just have to take the city by force.

DOOGAL bolts for the courthouse.

FLOYD: Somebody stop him!
LADY #2: You stop him. You’re the acting Marshall.
FLOYD: Oh, yeah. Let’s go!

FLOYD, GUY, and BRIXMORE run to the courthouse door. It’s locked.

BRIX: He locked the door!
FLOYD: Son of a bitch! Can he do that?
GUY: Stand back! I’m gonna break the door down!

GUY backs up to get a running start.

FLOYD: Wait a minute…

FLOYD clicks his heels and disappears. GUY begins running for the door. Just as he is about to reach it, the door opens, and FLOYD steps out.

I can’t believe that worked!

GUY runs headlong into FLOYD.

GUY: Gah!
FLOYD: Ow!

BRIX, VIRGIL, and CHRIS TENNISON follow into the courthouse, with Doogal’s MEN close behind. GRUTH, meanwhile, runs off in a different direction.

The street scene flies out, replaced by the courthouse interior. DOOGAL stands at the ready as the party rushes him.

DOOGAL: Dominate person!

VIRGIL stops in his tracks.

Attack those guys!

VIRGIL pulls out his bow and arrow and shoots GUY in the leg.

GUY: What the fuck?

Sees VIRGIL.

Aw, nerds!
BRIX: I’m on it!

BRIX wrestles VIRGIL to the ground. LIAM STRONGBOW enters.

LIAM: Hey guys, what’s up?
CHRIS TENNISON: What are you doing here? Wait. That doesn’t matter. Help us!

LIAM and CHRIS TENNISON engage Doogal’s MEN, including an ELF ASSASSIN who fights with multiple daggers.

GUY and FLOYD approach DOOGAL.

GUY: Do you know how to flank, Floyd?
FLOYD: Uh, gee, Guy, dur… Of course I do!
GUY: Well, get ready!

GUY and FLOYD engage DOOGAL. BRIXMORE, meanwhile, is having a tough time with VIRGIL, but finally manages to throw him to the ground.

BRIX: Dispel!

VIRGIL comes to.

VIRGIL: What just happened?
BRIX: Doogal dominated you with a spell.
FLOYD: I think this cat has bard powers!
GUY: He’s a BARD?

In a rage, GUY cuts DOOGAL down, but DOOGAL disappears through the floor.

What? C’mon!
CHRIS TENNISON: Um… a little help?

The rest of the party comes to the aid of CHRIS TENNISON and LIAM, and they defeat the guards in short order, with VIRGIL delivering the capping blow to the ELF ASSASSIN. LIAM exits.

VIRGIL: Dammit! Doogal got away!
BRIX: But we foiled his plot to take Compassgate.
CHRIS TENNISON: And we may have completely discredited his reputation in Arimathea.
GUY: And I’m pretty sure I killed him.
VIRGIL: But we have no body to show for it. I am unsatisfied and disappointed.

LIAM re-enters, leading six horses.

LIAM: Does this make up for it?

VIRGIL begins weeping with joy.

VIRGIL: It’s a Yule Time miracle!

Everyone hops on their horses.

FLOYD: Anyone know how to ride one of these things?
GUY: We’ll learn. Well, fellas, where to next?
BRIX: I say we go to Larst, to do some religious research on the Harvester –
FLOYD: And warn the hierarchy about Nikolai.
LIAM: There’s a port in Longview where you can book passage on a ship. I can’t go with you, I’m afraid, but I’ll see you all again before too long.
GUY: Well, then, to Larst?
CHRIS TENNISON: To Larst!
BRIX: To Larst!
FLOYD: To Larst!
VIRGIL: Horses!

The party rides off into the sunset.

END OF ACT IV
END OF PART IV

Sessions XIX (Compl;eted) and XX (Started): Floyd's Puppet Theatre Interpretation

2009-09-23T13:14:00.000-07:00

The Order of the Abbey, Part Four: Dealin’ with Doogal
Act III

DOOVIN’s basement. The body of the PROCLAIMER lays upon a slab in the center. FLOYD enters and addresses the audience.

FLOYD: Previously on “The Order of the Abbey – the Puppet Musical:”

Characters pop in and out of the edge of the proscenium as they say their lines:

BRIX: I’m on the side of the One True God, Virgil.
GOLDSCHMIDDT: Somebody went to the Dagda Bridge and released the Hunt, and I have a theory that it’s after you boys.
DOOVIN: The Harvester is going to have to undergo a one-month preparation in a secret location. Find that location, and you can stop him.
MITCHELL: Fine. Tell your little friend when he wakes up that I will see that he is forever barred from being a bard!
BRIX: Are you trying to tell us that Doogal is also a member of the Year of the Ram?
VIRGIL: Doovin, sometimes I sneak off into the forest so I can jerk off in peace. (breaks character) THAT’S my recap line?
DOOVIN: “Lo, I am Death, destroyer of worlds.” Yep, that’s the Shiva Sword, all right. Has the power to undo creation.
GUY: How did Goldschmiddt get his hands on this kind of magic?
VIRGIL: Who is this?
DOOVIN: This is the earthly body of The Proclaimer.
FLOYD: And now, on with the show!

FLOYD, GUY, VIRGIL, BRIX, CHRIS TENNISON, and DOOVIN re-assemble in the spots they were in when the last part ended.

CHRIS TENNISON: The Proclaimer sleeps in your basement?
DOOVIN: He’s not asleep, Chris Tennison. He’s dead.
CHRIS TENNISON: Oh, okay. For a minute I was worried The Proclaimer was some kind of jobless hippie squatter.
BRIX: I can’t believe the body of the most holy prophet is here.
DOOVIN: Why not? It’s the safest place on the continent.
BRIX: But surely The Church would want –
DOOVIN: The Church?! Brixmore, by now you must know that there are those in the clergy who cannot be trusted with a locker combination, much less the body of The Pro-freaking-claimer.
BRIX: Point taken. But underneath the Grand Cathedral in Larst, is there not a place where holy relics are safeguarded?
DOOVIN: The catacombs? Brother, you don’t even want to know about what kind of crazy shit is down there. Trust me. This is the safest possible place that The Proclaimer could be right now.
BRIX: I don’t doubt that, Doovin… bless your soul for keeping him safe.
DOOVIN: I take a lot of pride in my job, but it does come with a price.
BRIX: What kind of price?
DOOVIN: Well, the body of The Proclaimer isn’t decomposing, and it isn’t going anywhere. Somebody’s got to be here to watch it, so I am both gifted and cursed with immortality, unable to see the afterlife promised to the followers of his teachings.
FLOYD: Ironic.
DOOVIN: Ain’t it, though?
BRIX: I’m sorry to hear that. Perhaps one day, you can be relieved of your duty, so that you might bask in the glow of the One True God in the great beyond.
DOOVIN: Are you… threatening me?
BRIX: What? No!
DOOVIN: Okay, ‘cause it sounded like -
BRIX: No.
DOOVIN: Fair enough.
GUY: Sorry to interrupt –
FLOYD: No, you’re not.
GUY: But weren’t you saying something upstairs about how we should be taking care of Doogal?
DOOVIN: Indeed. I’ve heard that in two weeks, Doogal will take his forces and his followers and march on Compassgate, with the intention to overthrow the local government.
GUY: Would that work?
DOOVIN: Well, he’s got a stranglehold on most of the crops and the horses –
VIRGIL: Grrrrr!

VIRGIL shakes his fist.

DOOVIN: - so my estimation is that he’ll be hailed as a hero when he marches in there.
BRIX: So we need to get there ahead of time to warn the local law enforcement.
FLOYD: That won’t do us any good.
BRIX: Why not?
FLOYD: The local law enforcement in Compassgate is the newly-appointed Marshall Drooley.
GUY: What?
VIRGIL: Are you fucking kidding me?
FLOYD: Granted, this information came from Mitchell, so it very well could be a lie. In fact, it probably is.
GUY: Regardless, we need to get to Compassgate but fast.
DOOVIN: First, you should go check on your friend Malus. You may not like what you find there.
BRIX: Uh-oh. Didn’t we send a messenger to Malus’ farm?
VIRGIL: We sure did.
CHRIS TENNISON: We’d better hurry!
FLOYD: I’m on it!
Sings:
Say you’ve got to get somewhere,
And you need to get there fast,
You’re a tortoise in a race,
And you can’t afford to come in last…

Light isolates FLOYD.

Put on your hat!Grab up your gear
We’re gonna take a ride
Through the power of song
There’s no going wrong
Just sail out on the tide
When you tend to take things in the literal sense
You have to round every corner and jump every fence
But traveling through song is what gives you license
To head from A to B
Without passing every tree!

DOOVIN joins FLOYD in the spotlight.

DOOVIN: Oh,
The journey can take so long!
FLOYD & DOOVIN: But a journey becomes a jaunt
When lovingly expressed in vibrant song!

So…
Put on your hat.
Wipe off that frown,
And join us in our dance
Through the power of song
There’s no going wrong
If you just give it a chance!
Stop taking things in a literal sense
And the Fiftynames Express will finally commence

FLOYD waits, but no one sings with him. Spoken:

Um… guys, this is the part where you sing with me.
DOOVIN: Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you.

Lights return to normal. The others are gone.

They left when you started singing.

FLOYD: Son of a bitch.
Sings:
Let’s proceed with alarm
As we head to Malus’ farm!

Button. DOOVIN exits as his basement flies out, and MALUS’ farm flies in. The entire farm is in disrepair, as though no one has been here for several weeks. The skeleton of the MESSENGER is pinned to the side of the barn with an axe through the ribs. Spoken:

FLOYD: Well, I’m glad I got here early.

BRIX, GUY, VIRGIL, and CHRIS TENNISON enter.

BRIX: Goon!
CHRIS TENNISON: Note to self – never give Malus bad news.
GUY: Floyd – any sign of Malus?
FLOYD: Other than the axe and the corpse? Nope.
BRIX: Oh, boy. You think Nikolai has called him into service?
VIRGIL: I’d bet money on it.
GUY: We need to get to Compassgate.
FLOYD: Can we travel by song this time?
VIRGIL: Why don’t we just take these flying white horses Doovin lent us?
FLOYD: Flying white what?
CHRIS TENNISON: Yeah, Doovin gave them to us while you were singing.
GUY: We’d have told you about them, but we didn’t want to.
FLOYD: Beans.
GUY: Anyway, hop on. They’re going to take us as far south as the Morningstar Abbey.

Four flying white HORSES enter.

HORSE #1: (neighing) All abo-ho-hoard!

The boys hop on the horses and fly away.

A-STAGE closes. B-STAGE opens to reveal the Morningstar Abbey. ART is outside, checking a truck of wine. The party enters, landing their horses nearby.

HORSE #1: Well, this is as far as we go. See you around!

The HORSES fly away.

ART: You boys do know how to make an entrance.
VIRGIL: Art! How’s it hanging?
ART: Not bad. I’m the Abbott now.
GUY: Good for you!
ART: Yeah, Larst saw fit to go over Nikolai’s head on that one. Nikolai had no objections, probably on account of me seeing that summoning circle in his chamber. A little leverage never hurts. Regardless, I’d still like to see Nikolai bounced from his seat altogether.
GUY: Wouldn’t we all.
VIRGIL: Art, as it turns out, we’re doing a little Year of the Ram research. What do you know about this past generation?
ART: Well, there were supposed to be twelve of you, and Teris found eight. You four, Eric, and Zarin, and two others who were kidnapped from here when you all were very young.
BRIX: Children kidnapped from here?
ART: Mm-hmm. You’re too young to remember, but their names were Delphin and Graxx. Delphin was Eric’s twin, and Graxx was yours, Brixmore.
BRIX: I have a twin?
ART: You all do. Virgil, Zarin is yours, and Guy and Floyd, you two can probably figure out. Delphin and Eric are particularly notable because they are the progeny of another born in the year of the Ram two hundred years prior, a fella named Harves Raeth.
VIRGIL: I wonder if that’s who Doovin was talking about – he mentioned another generation of the Year of the Ram that we wouldn’t want to get mixed up with.
ART: I should say not. Harves Raeth has not led a reputable existence, to put it kindly.
GUY: What of the children Teris didn’t’ find?
ART: All I know about them is that one was a set of Halfling twins, and the other two were elves.
VIRGIL: And of those four, one of them is Doogal.
FLOYD: Or Doogal could be an alias for Delphin or Graxx.
BRIX: Nikolai also mentioned that he already had a child from the Year of the Ram at his disposal. If that were Delphin or Graxx –
GUY: Or one of the others –
BRIX: We should definitely try to find out.
GUY: Right. Thank you Art, this is very helpful.
ART: My pleasure. Hope that doesn’t complicate things too much.
FLOYD: Oh, we’re way past that.

From one of the upper floors, a window opens, and a teenage human girl sticks her head out and shouts:

GIRL: At the moment of the Harvest, the stars will begin to fall!

She retreats. The boys look at ART.

CHRIS TENNISON: Care to explain that one?
ART: That’s one of our current wards. She has the gift of prophecy.
FLOYD: “At the moment of the Harvest, the stars will begin to fall.”
GUY: Could be a clue to The Harvester’s location. Has she given any other prophecies?
ART: A couple. “The one who walks in darkness gathers his council among him and goes there unto Larst.” That one was spoken to me. Another monk here heard her say, “And those who grew up as brothers and maintained brothers among them true of necessity shall walk the path of darkness, yet only three shall exit on the other side.”
VIRGIL: That last one sounds like it could be directed towards us.
BRIX: We can’t discount the first one, either. Looks like we need to add Larst to our travel itinerary.
VIRGIL: The last makes it sound like at least one of us is going to die before this is all said and done.
GUY: If you choose to believe it.
CHRIS TENNISON: It is a prophecy.
GUY: Well, I’m sick of prophecies! I’m of the mind to make my own destiny from here on out. No more of telling us what we are destined to accomplish - what say Brix, Floyd, Virgil, Chris Tennison, and Guy make their own agenda and follow through, huh?
FLOYD: Sounds good to me!
VIRGIL: I’m with you, too.
BRIX: And me, too, Guy.
CHRIS TENNISON: (Smiles) I’m getting too old for this shit. Aw, what the hell, I’m in!
GUY: Now what say we all head for Compassgate and confront Doogal once and for all!
VIRGIL, FLOYD, BRIX, CHRIS TENNISON: Yeah!
GUY: C’mon, then! What are we waiting for?

Bells.

ART: Oops, time for supper. Corned beef and cabbage tonight.
FLOYD: That sounds good.
BRIX: It sure does.
VIRGIL: I can’t remember the last time I had corned beef.
GUY: Well… I guess it wouldn’t hurt to wait until tomorrow to confront Doogal once and for all.

Exeunt into the Abbey. Curtain closes.

END OF ACT III.

Game Notes, Session 20

2009-09-23T13:12:00.000-07:00

Gameplay begins as the party arrives at the Morningstar Abbey. They are greeted upon their arrival by two monks they remember from their time at the Abbey, and the party is taken to Art, who is the new Abbott, after appealing to the Church in Larst. The party learns that Brother Jarrod disappeared about 4 weeks prior, and a new Blacksmith has taken his place at the Abbey. A discussion about the children born during the last Year of the Ram cycle ensues, and the boys discover through Art that the two (previously unaccounted for) children from the year were also brought to the Abbey by Teris and the gang, but they were kidnapped. Their names are Graxx and Delphin (both boys), and Delphin in particular is interesting because he is the son of another Year of the Ram child, one born four cycles ago (making him 200 years old at the time of Delphin’s birth; 218 currently). Both of these children are human. Delphin’s father is a man named Harvas Raeth. The party then learns that the younger girl who lived at the Abbey has developed the gift of prophecy, though she has reverted to a child-like state as a result, and the brothers keep her in the tower of the Abbey for her own safety.
The party goes up to the tower to see her, when she immediately opens her mouth, and in a deep voice, gives the following prophetic message:

“At the moment of the ceremony of the Harvest, the stars will begin to fall. Seek ye the location at the base of Mt. ---“

This is where she stops. Art mentions that this is only the 3rd prophecy she has given, and the party resolves to study the mountains of the Twilight Lands in order to glean the location. They also request to hear the other prophecies. They are:

“The brother who walks in darkness gathers his council among him and goes there unto Larst.” – Spoken to Art

This is taken by the party as a means of explaining where Jarrod has gone to. Getting to Larst becomes a priority. The other one:

And those who grew up as brothers and maintained brothers among them true of necessity shall walk the path of darkness, yet only three shall exit on the other side.” – Spoken to Brother Steve Perry

The party reluctantly comes to the conclusion that this means that at least one of them (it is not certain if Chris Tennison is subject to this prophecy) will die before all is said and done. With nothing more for it but to accept that the prophecy was foretold, Guy decides he’s sick of prophecies, and the party at large agrees with him. They bed down for the night at the Abbey, and head forth the next day for Compassgate.

When they arrive in Compassgate three days later, they come to the gate, and find the guards drastically understaffed in the city. The guard who greets them at the gate asks them if they are there to celebrate Yule. After staring intently at the guard for 10 minutes, the boys decide that there is no hidden meaning in this nameless guard’s statement, and ask him why they are so understaffed. The guard explains that Marshall Drooley has given most of the city leave to celebrate the season, which is winding to a close.

The party, pretty irritated with Drooley by this point, heads into town and goes straight for the Town Hall. When they enter the hall, Guy tells the clerk that they have an appointment with Drooley, but she does not believe him. Floyd begins to sing in an attempt to distract her, but his singing triggers the arrival of a tiny man in a bubble who sings a song from Mitchell about Floyd, and how Floyd’s songwriting skills pale in comparison to his. After completing the song, the tiny man states that the terms of his geas are complete, and he disappears. This leads Floyd to the conclusion that Mitchell’s geas ordered the man to first, write a song trouncing Floyd and pretend that Mitchell had written it himself, and second, to perform it for Floyd the next time he attempted to sing.

Anyway, this provides the distraction the party needs, and they head for a meeting room, where Guy rashly and impulsively strikes Drooley, killing him. Panic ensues through the building, and Guy heads for Drooley’s office, finding what loosely amounts to evidence – correspondence between Drooley and Doogal that, while appearing legal and coincidental, more or less leaves the city defenseless. As a crowd forms outside, an image of Gruth appears, which recognizes the party, and quickly pins the murder of Drooley on them, calling the boys his “assassins,” and announcing his invasion of the city. Floyd takes the evidence and does his damndest to sway the assembled public to the side of the party, rallying them to allow the boys to fight for the city. Many in the crowd are swayed.

Meanwhile, Virgil, Guy, Chris Tennison, and Brixmore head for the gate, where they see an oncoming army of the usual Doogal suspects – kobolds, giants, lizarmen, dwarves, and the like. Then, a guard spots an army cresting the hill, and recognizes them as Doogal’s forces – revealing Doogal’s master plan to “save” the city from his own monster army. Realizing this is an orchestrated event, the party leads a band of citizenry out to fight alongside Doogal’s forces, surprising the monster army and Doogal’s force. Naturally, the victory is for Compassgate, and the party further endears themselves to the city being percieved as their leaders. The boys spot Doogal, and discover that he is a halfling. Doogal heads for the gates of the city, so Floyd takes a potion of Expeditious Retreat and heads for the gate. Guy, Chris Tennison, Brixmore, and Liam follow, while Virgil stays behind to implement “Operation: Horsethief.”

Doogal finds himself greeted at the gate by Floyd who introduces himself as the acting Marshall of Compassgate, and Doogal recognizes the party’s names, though they have never met. It becomes clear to Floyd when listening to Doogal that he has bard abilities. He disavows any knowledge of Gruth and the like, and maintains his intent upon reaching the city. Upon his arrival in town square, Doogal begins to give a speech intended to bring the city under his sway, but Floyd gets into Doogal’s rythmn, and makes him look like a fool. The citizenry, thoroughly unimpressed by Doogal, disregard him, until he decides to take Town Hall by force, heading inside and locking the door. The party tries to fight their way through.

Meanwhile, Virgil has approached some of Doogal’s men, and tried to ingratiate himself to them, but he is met with resistance on all fronts. He notices their insignia, which is a jewel that lights up, and when it does, Doogal’s forces head for the city. Virgil Expeditious Retreats himself into town, and finds the party, led by Chris Tennnison, trying to break down the door of Town Hall. Floyd uses his boots to get inside, and opens the door, and the party dispatches the guards downstairs and head up. Virgil and Chris are the first to find Doogal, but Doogal dominates Virgil, taking him out f the fight. The rest of the party gets up to the meeting room where the fight is happening, and Floyd, Guy, and Chris Tennison fight Doogal while Liam tries to subdue Virgil and Brix attempts to hold off the guards at the door. The party defeats Doogal just as he escapes through a magic hole in the floor, and then Floyd teleports out of the room to follow him with Brixmore following soon after while Liam, Guy, and Chris Tennison fight the guards.

Virgil’s domination lifts, and he joins Floyd and Brix, who go downstairs to find Doogal gone (but for a blood spot on the floor where he should have landed) and Floyd and Brix engaged in fighting an elf assassin with crazy poisoned daggers. Guy, Liam, and Chris Tennison dispatch the guards and head downstairs, where they help to finish off the assassin, but are forced out of the town hall by an overwhelming number of guards. Outside, they find the town is being sacked by more of Doogal’s forces, both monstrous and human. The party finds horses and escapes Compassgate, heading south for Longview, with the intent to head east to Larst. Though disappointed that they were unable to save Compassgate, they take solace in the fact that Doogal has been thoroughly outed to the world as a villian of the first degree. At this point, Liam parts ways with the party, but tells them he will see them again.

End of Session XX

NPC Profile: Malus CORRECTED!

2009-09-17T13:22:00.001-07:00

Malus is an individual who has been around for a very long time. He is a large human male of great strength and imposing presence. It is known by the party that long before their birth, Malus was a warrior in an ancient age who was forced to eat the heart of a demon in order to survive a battle in which all of his men had been killed. Originally a valorous warrior, Malus accepted this fate because of a promise he made to one of his soldiers to take a message back to the soldier's beloved. Consumption of the heart changed Malus both physically and spiritually forever.

By the time the PCs meet Malus, he is an anonymous gentleman farmer. He makes the acquaintance of Brixmore during Brix’s apprenticeship as a cleric. Later on, the entire group encounters Malus, who is staying as a guest with the haughty, racist centaurs who kill Hirsute MacGuffin and assault the other party members who are trying to return the centaur chieftain (Proudtail)’s son (Stonehoof). Upon learning of the centaur’s treatment of the PCs, he orders Chief Proudtail to have his shaman reincarnate Hirsute as Chris Tennison. This pull that Malus, a human has among the xenophobic centaurs leads the party to believe he is more powerful than your average farmer.

Malus learns that the party is heading for the famous Tower of Puzzles, and asks the PCs to retrieve a suit of blue enamel armor for him. Chris Tennison finds the armor, and Malus catches up to the party in the city of Britewater, where they give him the suit. Donning it, he almost immediately engages in a fight with Faust, who was in the city unbeknownst to the party. It is heavily implied that Malus covets Fausts’ magical glove which allows him to utilize more than one magic ring per hand. To our knowledge, this glove is completely unique.

What Malus does not know is that at the top of the Tower of Puzzles, Chris Tennison also obtained the Imperial Scepter, an implement that allows the wielder complete control over the wearers of the enamel armor of various colors. Chris Tennison does not realize the power of the scepter, and does not use it against Malus, but unfortunately, the party loses the scepter when they are captured in Compassgate by Faust and Cardinal Nikolai. Although the party escapes, Nikolai retains possession of the scepter, and it is believe that he uses it to make Malus his errand boy.

The party sends a messenger to warn Malus of this fact, but when the party follows up on the mission, they are dismayed to find Malus’ farm in shambles, and the messenger's dead body on the property. This is the last they hear from Malus for several years, until the battle for the Basilica of Larst, when Nikolai, who reveals himself to the world as Argoth, Lord of Hell, summons Malus to engage the party in battle. The PCs manage to overcome Malus at this juncture, but they do not kill him. Instead, Malus escapes, bloodied and beaten. When the party defeats and banishes Nikolai, they can find no sign of the Imperial Scepter. It is unknown at this time what has become of this artifact, and Malus remains at large.

Session XIX, (cont.) - Floyd's Puppet Theatre Interpretation

2009-09-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

The Order of the Abbey, Part Four: Dealin’ with Doogal
Act II

Curtain opens on the interior of the Warrior’s Rest. A new gnome, RUMPLEMINTZ, is behind the bar. A few patrons mill about, drinking and talking.

The doors open and BRIXMORE, VIRGIL, CHRIS TENNISON, and GUY enter.

RUMPLEMINTZ: Well, I’ll be! The famous Year of the Ram themselves! You must be… now, let me see… don’t help me – Brixmore the dwarf, right?
BRIX: Aye.
RUMPLEMINTZ: And you’re Guy Fodder, am I correct?
GUY: Fodder’s… really more of a nickname.
RUMPLEMINTZ: And Virgil?
VIRGIL: Who the fuck is this guy?
RUMPLEMINTZ: And are you, Chris Tennison, formerly Hirsute MacGuffin?
CHRIS TENNISON: Sure am!
RUMPLEMINTZ: Well, I’m just as pleased as punch to meet you all! I’m Rumplemintz. Goldscmiddt hired me on as extra help.
GUY: Opposites attract, I see.
RUMPLEMINTZ: Hm?
GUY: Never mind.
RUMPLEMINTZ: But, wait! Where’s the one who made your names so famous, your gnomish bard companion?
VIRGIL: Oh, he’ll be along in a minute.

FLOYD enters, agitated.

FLOYD: Virgil! Thanks for a whole assload of nothing!
VIRGIL: What are you talking abou?
FLOYD: Mitchell was not hiding in that there briar patch up the road… I don’t know what you saw, but now I’m all scratched up and my clothes are torn, and…you son of a bitch.

The others break up laughing. FLOYD addresses the audience:

FLOYD: Hi, folks, Floyd Fiftynames here. I’ve been a little off my game recently. See, I just found out that there’s this bard out there named Mitchell who’s playing my songs and claiming them as his own. I called him out on it, and just as we were about to fight an honest duel, he sucker punched me. Suffice to say, when I find him, he’d have best written his own dirge.
RUMPLEMINTZ: Oh, my! Is it really you?
FLOYD: What’s that? Oh, yes. Good to meet you…
RUMPLEMINTZ: Rumplemintz.
FLOYD: Rumplemintz. A pleasure.
RUMPLEMINTZ: Oh, the pleasure’s all mine, Mitchell!

Thunder.

FLOYD:…what?
RUMPLEMINTZ: The author of such songs as “To Be a Mer-Gnome,” and “The Battle of the Cracked Flagon” needs no introduction here. We all know you, Mitchell!
FLOYD: My. Name. is. Not. Mitchell.
RUMPLEMINTZ: Oh, I’m sorry. What is your name, gnomish stranger?
FLOYD: I sir, am Floyd Havenshickle Ullrich Nicklepolish Fogerty Nipnipnip Eidelweiss Filtmore Sussantacher Dondlefizzle Greenbarrow Corknozzle Degrander Flippentumble Witzen Hollowhiller Kriddentree Meidentallow Quartzbasher Badgertailor Pommemander Yulespritzle Havendasher Breezefighter Culinator Obblepeddler Burrowmaster KaBong Hatcrafter Saucespoon Udenhollow Rickshaw Shadowblaster Wicktamer Bostwick Fellowhand Bashhit Tuladenfork Alphabetaxer Elf-friend Ropedryer Bellowsmender Twinklefoot Pipethief Grimbit Judenhaste Swistender Nozplaster Krisskslayer FIFTYNAMES, dammit!
RUMPLEMINTZ: Oh. Do you know Mitchell?
FLOYD: I know everything you need to know about that son of a bitch.
RUMPLEMINTZ: Do tell!
FLOYD:
Sings:
What kind of Gnome
Steals another Gnome’s song?
It’s just not the right thing to do –
No honorable Bard
Would e’er play that card
Without a soul made of pure poo.

So, Mitchell the Bard
Must be a retard,
For stealing Floyd Fiftynames’ songs –
Not only a thief,
E’er he turned a new leaf
The other side’d also be wrong.

It sure is a shame
That he’d sully his name
And the name of good Bards everywhere;
If he feels threatened by me,
Well, that’s easy to see,
For I’m young and my nuts have more hair.

Yes, Mitchell the Bard
Has much balder gnards,
As all of you now are aware,
I’m sure the Council would blush,
And soon they would rush
To let a new Bard clear the air.

Button. Spoken:

RUMPLEMINTZ: Say, that’s pretty good!
FLOYD: I know.

FLOYD crosses to an empty table and sits.

GUY: Don’t mind him. Is Goldschmiddt in?
RUMPLEMINTZ: Oh, I’m sure he’s around here somewhere.

GOLDSCHMIDDT enters.

GOLDSCHMIDDT: Oh, goody. It’s the merry band of adventurers who occasionally stop by to threaten my life.

Suddenly, his tone changes, and he says under his breath to the party:

My office. Quick.
CHRIS TENNISON: Hey, Goldschmiddt, we… wait, what?
GOLDSCHMIDDT: You heard me. Now.

GOLDSCHMIDDT exits into the back.

BRIX: Come on, Floyd. Goldschmiddt has something important to tell us.
FLOYD: Fine.

The boys exit into the back. A-STAGE closes. B-STAGE opens up, revealing small office. GOLDSCHMIDDT sits at his desk. The party enters. GOLDSCHMIDDT behaves differently than his “public” persona. He is quick, to the point, and curt.

GOLDSCHMIDDT: Do you boys know anyone who might have released the Wild Hunt?
VIRGIL: What? No! Why?
BRIX: The Wild Hunt is on the loose?
GUY: Holy shit!
GOLDSCHMIDDT: Somebody went to the Dagda Bridge and released the Hunt, and I have a theory that it’s after you boys.
VIRGIL: Who the fuck would send the Wild Hunt after us?

A pause as it sinks in.

GUY: Doogal.

CHORD.

BRIX: What is with that guy?
GOLDSCHMIDDT: But how did Doogal get that information?
FLOYD: I think I know.
GOLDSCHMIDDT: What?
FLOYD: Guy… your book.

GUY pulls the book out of his backpack that was made by PHILIPI, the scribe.

GUY: Oh. Forgot I had this.
FLOYD: Is there a chapter in there about the Dagda bridge?

GUY peruses the book.

GUY: Um… yeah.
FLOYD: There’s your answer, Goldschmiddt.
GOLDSCHMIDDT: This is not good.

A mist starts to creep in under the door.

We’ve got to hid you boys somewhere… somewhere the hunt can’t get to.
BRIX: Is there anyplace it can’t go?
GOLDSCHMIDDT: Only one place nearby that I can think of.
CHRIS TENNISON: Hey, cool! Mist!
GOLDSCHMIDDT: Son of a bitch. The hunt is on its way.

GOLDSCHMIDDT reaches into his desk, and hands all the boys a vial.

Drink this, then run west to a clearing about half a day’s ride from here.
GUY: Are you kidding? We’ll be chopped to bits before we ever get there!
GOLDSCHMIDDT: Not if you drink that, you won’t.
GUY: But what is it?
GOLDSCHMIDDT: It’s special magic hoo-joo! You don’t have time for questions – drink it!

The party obliges. B-STAGE closes behind the characters.

GOLDSCHMIDDT: Run!

The party runs (in place). GOLDSCHMIDDT exits, and B-STAGE opens, revealing blurry trees as the characters book it. The sound of a HORN fills the air, and the mist becomes thicker.

VIRGIL: Whoooo! This is awesome!
CHRIS TENNISON: How are we running so fast?
VIRGIL: Powerful magics, my friend.
GUY: I think the more important question is, how did Goldschmiddt get his hands on this kind of magic?
FLOYD: Yeah, he’s just an unassuming barkeep at an inn that used to be a tomb way out in the middle of nowhere. Those guys never turn out to be more than they seem.
GUY: But it raises the even MORE important question –
BRIX: No! No, there is no more important question, at least not at the moment. The important issue right now is to run from the hunt before it catches up with us!
CHRIS TENNISON: Brixmore makes a solid point, fellas.
GUY: Fair enough. I guess the only question I have at this point, then, is how much farther are we going to be able to run?

The party exits. B-STAGE closes.

A-STAGE opens to a clearing in the middle of the forest. A modest country house with an exterior cellar, exuding peace and safety from every door and window. A man sits on the porch, thoughtfully smoking a pipe. This is DOOVIN. The sound of footsteps, and the horn approach. Mist surrounds the clearing, but does not enter it. Finally, BRIX, GUY, VIRGIL, CHRIS TENNISON, and FLOYD run in, and stop, breathing heavily.

DOOVIN: Hello.
VIRGIL: Hi.
GUY: Goldschmiddt sent us.
DOOVIN: (nodding) Mm-hm. The Hunt?
CHRIS TENNISON: Yeah. How’d you –

A chill ripples through the clearing as THE HORNED KING enters, a towering figure clad in a dark cloak; he has great antlers that protrude from a hood that obscures the rest of his face.

THE HORNED KING stops at the edge of the clearing. He can go no farther.

FLOYD: Gah!
DOOVIN: Relax. He can’t come in here.
BRIX: He can’t?
DOOVIN: Nope – on account of the holy magic that protects this place.
BRIX: Holy magic? What kind of –
DOOVIN: You boys must be tired.
VIRGIL: Well, now that you mention it –

BRIX, FLOYD, GUY, CHRIS TENNISON, and VIRGIL collapse in a deep slumber. DOOVIN addresses THE HORNED KING.

DOOVIN: I’m taking these boys inside to get some rest now. You shoo. Shoo!

DOOVIN waves his pipe at THE HORNED KING, who skulks away.

A-STAGE closes. B-STAGE opens to reveal the underwater kingdom of the Mer-Gnomes. MER-FLOYD swims in, followed by MER-GUY, MER-BRIX, MER-VIRGIL, and MER-CHRIS TENNISON.

VIRGIL: Whoa…
FLOYD: I fucking told you so!
BRIX: You sure did, Floyd.
FLOYD: So maybe you should believe me about Mitchell, too.
GUY: I seriously doubt that.
FLOYD: Why?
GUY: Because this is a dream sequence, dumbass.
CHRIS TENNISON: And the gag is getting tired, too.
FLOYD: Fine, fine…

The party swims off. LILY enters.

LILY: Floyd?

B-STAGE closes. A-STAGE opens up on the interior of DOOVIN’s house. FLOYD is downstairs, picking at a lute. DOOVIN is cooking breakfast. BRIX is off to the side, saying his prayers. CHRIS TENNISON enters.

CHRIS TENNISON: What time is it?
FLOYD: Wednesday.
CHRIS TENNISON: Jumpin’ Jehosaphat! We slept for three days?
DOOVIN: You looked like you needed it.
FLOYD: That we did, Doovin.
CHRIS TENNISON: Doovin?
DOOVIN: At your service. Have some breakfast.

DOOVIN sets down a monster plate of biscuits, bacon, and gravy in front of CHRIS TENNISON, who eats hungrily.

FLOYD: Three days of sleep’ll have an effect on your appetite.
Sings:
Down at the edge of the forest
Just before the sun met the day
At a quaint little farm
Where you’ll never know harm
I found me a nice place to stay

I was awoke from my slumber
By a smell from the stove wafting by
Of hot, piping coffee
And biscuits and gravy
And bacon just starting to fry

So pleasant was this early morning
I was certain that this was a dream
But the aches that I felt
Told me I wasn’t healt,
And things truly were as they seemed

And then as I rose up to standing
I was greeted by a friendly face
Sayin’, ‘Hot piping coffee
And biscuits and gravy
Before you return to the race’

Every minstrel and wandering traveler
Needs a spot to feel safe now and then
And the farm that I found
Where the crops grow around
Is a place that I’ll visit again.

Button. Spoken:

DOOVIN: Well, I do what I can.

BRIX finishes his prayers, crosses to the table.

BRIX: I’ve never felt so close to the One True God before. This place is amazing.
DOOVIN: There's a reason for that.
FLOYD: It’s so peaceful.

GUY and VIRGIL enter, recently awake.

GUY: All right, I’m up. Time for questions!
FLOYD: Well, it was.
VIRGIL: Who are you?
DOOVIN: Name’s Doovin.
GUY: Why did Goldschmiddt send us to you?
DOOVIN: Probably because I can provide you lads with some answers.
GUY: What kind of answers?
DOOVIN: Well, take the Harvest, for instance.
VIRGIL: You… you know about the Harvest?
DOOVIN: Sure do. Floyd told me all about it.
VIRGIL: How much did you tell him, Floyd?
FLOYD: Doovin? I told him everything. You would too, if you tried the food he just made.
VIRGIL: I very much doubt that…

VIRGIL takes a bite of a biscuit. It’s overwhelmingly good.

Wow. Doovin, sometimes I sneak off into the forest so I can jerk off in peace.
FLOYD: Thems are damn fine biscuits!
GUY: So, what can you tell us about the Harvester?
DOOVIN: Well, if the Harvester is loose, he’s preparing for the Harvest. That’ll take place on the last night of High Autumn. In the meantime, he’s going to have to undergo a one-month preparation for the Harvest in a secret location. Find that location, and you can stop him before this all goes down.
CHRIS TENNISON: With the Apocalypse Sword, maybe?
DOOVIN: Oh, yes – the sword. Let me see that.

GUY hands DOOVIN the sword. He draws it.

VIRGIL: Holy fucking shit!

VIRGIL, GUY, FLOYD, BRIX, and CHRIS TENNISON all cover their eyes and hunch down. To their surprise, the sword does not kill them.

DOOVIN: “Lo, I am Death, destroyer of worlds.”

He sheaths the sword.

Yep, that’s the Shiva Sword, all right. Has the power to undo creation.
BRIX: Yeah? Well, how come it didn’t just now?
DOOVIN: Because nothing evil can enter this property.
VIRGIL: Nothing?
DOOVIN: Not a thing… that I know of.
VIRGIL: Well, that’s a relief.
BRIX: What is?
VIRGIL: I’m not evil.
BRIX: Well, neither was Sally, but you’d never know from the Eye of Toth being in her head. Some things can be deceiving.
DOOVIN: Eye of Toth?
GUY: Yeah, what do you know about that?
DOOVIN: Just that Toth was a pagan god of old. Using the powers of the Eye eventually take your soul away.
VIRGIL: Oh, excellent.
GUY: I guess that means we have to go back and get it back from Sally.
DOOVIN: I’m sure Garam will take care of it. You Year of the Ram children have this tendency to take everything upon yourselves.
BRIX: Well, speaking of Year of the Ram, what can you tell us about that?
DOOVIN: Well, there are twelve of you born in this cycle of the year of the ram.
BRIX: This cycle?
DOOVIN: Yes… Children were born in the other years of the ram, you know.
GUY: Maybe they could provide some answers that we’ve been seeking. Do you know any previous generations of the year of the ram, Doovin?
DOOVIN: Only one, and it’s best that you not get mixed up with him.
FLOYD: Aw, come on!
DOOVIN: No, no. It’s not time for that. You have members of your own generation to worry about.
FLOYD: Like who?
DOOVIN: Like Doogal.

CHORD.

BRIX: Are you trying to tell us that Doogal is also a member of the Year of the Ram?
GUY: That doesn’t even begin to make sense. He was already an active beast breeder by the time we were sixteen.
DOOVIN: What can I say? Doogal’s a go-getter.
CHRIS TENNISON: Wow. It’s kind of humbling to think of yourselves as late-bloomers, huh?
FLOYD: Easy now, Chris Tennison. Nothing humbles Floyd Fiftynames.
DOOVIN: Oh, yeah?
FLOYD: Yeah.
DOOVIN: Perhaps you boys should come to my basement.
FLOYD: Something about that sounds so wrong, and yet, I am completely amenable to your suggestion.

DOOVIN’s kitchen flies out, replaced by his basement, which has some weapons and tools hanging on the walls, and a large slab in the center, upon which a fresh-looking body lays.

BRIX and GUY immediately fall to their knees. FLOYD takes off his hat.

VIRGIL: Who is this?
DOOVIN: This is the earthly body of The Proclaimer.

The boys exchange looks. Curtain closes.

END OF ACT II

NPC Profile: Goldschmiddt

2009-09-14T20:33:00.000-07:00

Goldschmiddt is a gnome who runs The Warrior's Rest, one of the taverns that the PC's frequent. The Warrior's Rest is located on the southwest side of the former Twilight Lands (now territory of the Freelands). It is a tavern built out of the tomb of a great warrior, but despite its macabre origins, it is a rather homey and comforting place.

Goldschmiddt has been the proprietor of the Warrior's Rest since the party's first encounter at the tavern, when they were taken there by Abel the ranger the night that Abbott Teris died and the boys' adventuring lives truly began. Goldschmiddt presents himself as a mopey, depressed individual who frequently supposes his own demise at the hands of one of his customers (even the PCs). He is the polar opposite of his cheery assistant barman, the gnome Rumplemintz.

In actuality, Goldschmiddt is a hardy, steely, and resourceful man who is fiercely protective of the things he holds dear, and his "Eeyore" persona is a front that allows him to keep watch over his charges from the relative safety of his tavern.

Goldschmiddt's relationship to the PCs is one of casual respect, but in recent years he has come to consider the PCs as powerful individuals who are less in need of his direct assistance, and more often in need of his guidance as a liason to the worshippers of the Dagda, a druidic organization in the southwestern Freelands who revere nature.

Through Goldschmiddt, the PCs have been introduced to Doovin, and Goldschmiddt was present at the climactic battle with The Harvester. In opposition to the High Elf invasion, Goldschmiddt assisted the alliance of the Western Continent armies by single-handedly destroying the conquered city of Britewater.

Goldschmiddt seems to know a great deal about the history of the Year of the Ram, but he is selective in what information he releases to the characters, preferring that they work to discover their own origins. The PCs have on occasion encountered him after he has been through a particularly brutal fight, but he always seems to bounce back and continue on at his post behind the bar.

Sessions XVIII & XIXish: Floyd' Puppet Theatre Interpretation

2009-09-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

The Order of the Abbey, Part Four: Dealin’ with Doogal
Act I

Curtain up on the outskirts of Scar Canyon, a large ravine just south of the Shield Splitter Inn. Noises off precede the entrances of BRIX, GUY, and CHRIS TENNISON, followed by a terse VIRGIL, from left. They trudge on a bit before VIRGIL stops suddenly.

VIRGIL: Lo! I have traveled these lands for almost a year now, and the only time I came across a horse, I had to steal it! Every stable, farm, city, tavern, inn, and charming bodega we have stopped at have been fresh out of steeds, mounts, and anything else with hooves or wings that are available for riding. Finally, when we fight the biggest battle of our lives only to watch a key villain escape on what turns out to be his own personal black riding DRAGON, some wet-behind-the-ears RANGER shows up with his very own mule and wagon!
CHRIS TENNISON: Hey Virgil, aren’t you a ranger, too?
VIRGIL: SONOFABITCHMOTHERFUCKERDAMMIT!

The group continues on, wearily exiting right, followed by OAK driving his mule and wagon, with LIAM and FLOYD sitting in the back of the wagon. LIAM is picking at a lute, and FLOYD is playing is pipe. After a few bars of instrumental music, FLOYD sings:

FLOYD:
Sings:
A horse is a horse
Of course, of course
But no one can purchase a horse
Of course
Unless the broker that deals that horse
Is named Doogal!

So find you a man by the name
Of Ga-ruth
You can hang out in inns or
Hire a slueth
He works for Doogal and he is a man
Who knows of the truth!

And so if you’re tired
Of travel on foot
Your boots are all muddy
And covered in soot
Ask Ga-ruth why Doogal would want every horse
If not for the loot!

Instrumental break

LIAM: A horse is a horse
FLOYD: Of course, of course
LIAM: But no one can purchase a horse
FLOYD: Of course
LIAM: Unless the broker who deals that horse
FLOYD & LIAM: Is named Doogal!

Button. VIRGIL re-enters from right. He approaches the wagon, takes LIAM’s lute, and smashes it to pieces. FLOYD quickly makes his pipe disappear. He turns to the audience.

FLOYD: Hi folks, Floyd Fiftynames here, riding in style across the plains of the old Twilight Lands. We’re headed up north to Scar Canyon to find the handle of Svarth, the second piece of a weapon that Brixmore’s in possession of. With the upcoming confrontation we’re bound to have with the Harvester looming, we figured we should try to get our weapons and gear up to speed. Oak had heard tales of this place that coincided with legends and rumors that Brixmore heard, so here we are.
OAK: Here we are!
FLOYD: I just said that.

The wagon pulls up to the edge of the canyon, where BRIX, CHRIS TENNISON, and GUY are waiting. FLOYD, LIAM, and OAK hop off of the wagon, and VIRGIL follows. CHRIS TENNISON is reading a brochure with a picture of the canyon on it.

BRIXMORE: Scar Canyon.
CHRIS TENNISON: Says here that Scar Canyon is the Canyon-iest place on earth!
GUY: What does that mean?

CHRIS TENNISON shrugs.

OAK: Shall we descend?

OAK starts down the canyon, followed by LIAM, and soon after, BRIXMORE, GUY and CHRIS TENNISON, still reading the brochure. As FLOYD starts down, VIRGIL watches him go, then reaches into his backpack and pulls out a label.

VIRGIL: Heh-heh-hee!

VIRGIL slaps the label on the upstage side of the mule (so we can’t see it). Suddenly, FLOYD pops back up.

FLOYD: Virgil!
VIRGIL: Hm? What?
FLOYD: You coming or what?
VIRGIL: Yeah, yeah… I’m on my way.
FLOYD: Good. Chris Tennison’s reading some more boring shit from that brochure!

FLOYD disappears down the canyon. VIRGIL follows.

A-STAGE closes. B-STAGE opens up to reveal a crevice in the canyon. The bones of a dead ADVENTURER lay impaled on a jagged rock, its clothes torn to rags, some of its gear scattered about. OAK, LIAM, GUY, BRIX, and CHRIS TENNISON enter.

CHRIS TENNISON: (reading) …taking over one thousand orc day laborers nearly eight months to dig the trenches. Wow!

FLOYD enters, followed by VIRGIL.

GUY: Hey, Virgil. What took you so long?
VIRGIL: Nothing… the sunset was magnificent… it’s eleven a.m., …. what took you so long? Shut up!
LIAM: Whoa there!

LIAM stops short in front of the skeleton.

CHRIS TENNISON: Cool! An animatronic skeleton! Maybe it can tell us about the mysteries of Scar Canyon!
GUY: Shut up. Search that corpse’s things.

VIRGIL and LIAM go through the ADVENTURER’s backpack. FLOYD rifles through its pockets, finds a platinum pieces, surreptitiously slips it into his hat. LIAM comes up with a note.

LIAM: Bingo! Correspondence.
GUY: What does it say?
LIAM: “Dear Expendable Adventurer, your job is discover the secret of Scar Canyon-“
CHRIS TENNISON: -Cool!-
LIAM: “-watch your step, those jagged rocks are mighty sharp.”
BRIX: The poor, illiterate bastard.
GUY: Is it signed?
LIAM: Yep – “Sincerely, Doogal.”

CHORD.

GUY: Again? Boy, we’re gonna have to meet Doogal one of these days.
VIRGIL: Does he say anything about horses in there?
GUY: Why would he say anything about –
LIAM: As a matter of fact, he does. “P.s., it is extremely important that you discover the secret of Scar Canyon because all of the horses I was buying died of the pestilence due to the wretched, filthy conditions I kept them in. Ah, well. C’est la vie, so say the D.” I assume the “D” is for Doogal.

CHORD. VIRGIL drops to his knees and shouts to the sky.

VIRGIL: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Rumble from above.

OAK: Please tell me you just started an avalanche.

Tiny rocks begin to fall from above. They slowly get bigger.

BRIX: Run!

Exeunt!

B-STAGE closes. A-STAGE opens to reveal the base of the canyon. Seven TROGLODYTES surround an idol, worshipping it.

TROGS: Malrotic, Malrotic, Malrotic…

BRIX, VIRGIL, GUY, CHRIS TENNISON, LIAM, and OAK enter, unseen by the TROGLODYTES.

OAK: Phew! That was close.
VIRGIL: Shh! That’s Draconic!
LIAM: The language?
VIRGIL: No, the cologne. Yes, the language!
OAK: I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk to my friend like that.
VIRGIL: And I’d appreciate it if you’d get off my back, you mule-hoarding son of a bitch!

The TROGS stop chanting, and turn and look at the assembled party.

That last part was a little loud, wasn’t it?

GUY: You might say that.
BRIX: Has anyone seen Floyd?

The TROGS grab spears and clubs.

CHRIS TENNISON: Beans!
LIAM: Run!

But it is too late. A fight breaks out between the party and the TROGS.

B-STAGE opens on a room filled with loot and a sleeping hydra. FLOYD enters.

FLOYD: (whispers) Sweet.

FLOYD begins scooping up treasure into his hat. On the other side of the stage, the others have defeated the TROGLODYTES. They cheer and exit. A-STAGE closes. From off, we hear:

CHRIS TENNISON: Floyd! Hey, there he is!

FLOYD’s eyes bug out. He rushes to the door as CHRIS TENNISON enters.

Floyd, we beat down a bunch of troglodytes! Where were you?

The HYDRA awakes.

Oh. There wasn’t anything about that in the brochure.

FLOYD: I wrote the brochure.
CHRIS TENNISON: What? But I found it at the edge of Scar Canyon.
FLOYD: I know. I snuck ahead the night before and placed it there. I haven’t slept in two days.
CHRIS TENNISON: Touche.

GUY, BRIX, VIRGIL, LIAM, and OAK enter behind CHRIS TENNISON.

BRIX: A hydra!

The party fights the HYDRA. GUY chops off one of its heads.

OAK: You might not want to do that!
GUY: Why not?

The HYDRA grows back two heads where the one was chopped off.

OAK: Does that answer your question?

More fighting. At last, the HYDRA is felled.

BRIX: Nice pile of loot you happened upon here, Floyd.
FLOYD: Only the best to share with my party! (to himself) Dirty moochers.

The gang begins to grab up gold and treasure. As they do so, BRIX discovers a secret door.

BRIX: Cool! Secret door!

GUY, BRIX, and LIAM moves the stone in front of the door.

VIRGIL: It’s a tunnel (sniffs) and by the smell of it, it’s been sealed up for a very long time.
BRIX: Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go exploring!

The group exits into the tunnel. B-STAGE closes.

A-STAGE opens, revealing a massive chamber chock FULL of goodies. A massive hydra skeleton with sixty heads rests on top. A carving on the wall in a strange language spans the back of the stage. The party enters, and stops short as they behold the treasure.

GUY: Hell, yes! Jackpot!
CHRIS TENNISON: Whoo-hoo!
FLOYD: Payday!

The party runs around, looking at items. FLOYD and CHRIS TENNISON stop as FLOYD pulls a pair of boots, a hat, and a pair of gloves out of the pile.

Nifty!

FLOYD tries on the hat.

CHRIS TENNISON: Feel any different?
FLOYD: I do, Chris Tennison. A little older, a little wiser.
CHRIS TENNISON: Good for you.
FLOYD: Yeah. Pull my finger.

CHRIS TENNISON pulls FLOYD’s finger. FLOYD farts, and the two laugh like idiots. Meanwhile, BRIX and LIAM encounter an impressive looking handle.

BRIX: Here it is! The handle of Svarth!
LIAM: What does it do?
BRIX: On its own, nothing, but when I combine it with the hammer…

BRIX puts the hammer and handle together. Musical Chord.

SVARTH: Behold Svarth!
BRIX: Oh, yeah!

GUY and VIRGIL approach the writing on the wall.

GUY: This makes my head hurt.
VIRGIL: Of course it does. It’s the written word.
GUY: Shut up. What does it say?
VIRGIL: Comprehend Languages!

VIRGIL casts.

Hmm… it appears to be Illithid in nature. It reads, “Lord of the 6th Circle of Cthon.”
GUY: That sounds ominous as shit.
VIRGIL: Yeah, it do.

FLOYD puts on the boots.

FLOYD: Hmm…

FLOYD clicks his heels. Instantly he is transported 40 feet across the room.

Titties!
BRIX: Floyd, that looks a might dangerous.
FLOYD: Yes, it does. I promise I’ll only use these in an extreme emergency.
BRIX: That’s not what I meant. Maybe you should not be wearing those.
FLOYD: But… these boots are extremely fly, are they not?
BRIX: Well, yeah, but…
FLOYD: Then it’s settled! I keep the boots!
BRIX: Oh, brother.

OAK stops what he is doing.

OAK: Shh! I hear something!

CHRIS TENNISON: Of course. Proclaimer forbid we should enjoy our payout.

EVERYONE hides. BROTHER ELLIOTT enters accompanied by twelve green-skinned HUMANOIDS.

ELLIOTT: There. Tell your master my debt is paid in full. There is enough money down here to finance whatever wars you wish to begin.

VIRGIL pops up from his hiding spot.

VIRGIL: Elliott?

ELLIOTT is surprised to see VIRGIL, to say the least.

ELLIOTT: Oh! Hello, Virgil.
VIRGIL: What the hell are you doing here
ELLIOTT: I was about to ask you the same thing.
VIRGIL: You first.
ELLIOTT: I just came to get my treasure.
VIRGIL: Your treasure?

GUY reveals himself.

GUY: Yeah, I hate to break it to you, Elliott…
ELLIOTT: Oh, good, there are more of you…
GUY: But this is our treasure now.
ELLIOTT: My dear boy. Are you suggesting that you’d be willing to fight for it?
GUY: You’re damn right we are, and…

OAK and LIAM rush up to GUY and pull him back.

OAK: Pay no attention to him. He’s a little hard-headed about these things.
ELLIOTT: I know.
VIRGIL: On the other hand, we did defeat the hydra in the last room, so I think we’re entitled to a cut, at least.
ELLIOTT: Do you, now?

FLOYD and CHRIS TENNISON come out of hiding.

FLOYD: Elliott, come on. Be reasonable.
ELLIOTT: Is that you talking, or the hat?
FLOYD: What do you know about the hat?
ELLIOTT: It makes a gnome wiser just for wearing it.
FLOYD: Oh. Then you should really listen to me.
ELLIOTT: I suppose. Fine. Take what you can carry and get out. The rest is mine.
VIRGIL: You can offer us a better deal than that –

ELLIOTT’s eyes begin to glow with the power of his magic.

ELLIOTT: Do not test me. Grab what you can and go. Now.

FLOYD turns to the audience.

FLOYD: And that’s what we did. Sure, it was hard giving up that treasure, but it would’ve been a lot harder than trying to get it all out of there with no legs.

Treasure cavern flies out and is replaced by the outskirts of the canyon. OAK’s mule and wagon are now loaded up with stuff.

OAK: Well, that’s as much money as I can carry.
GUY: Yeah, and we got some good stuff, too. I got these boots to make me faster. Floyd, you got the hat, those teleporting boots, and those gloves.
VIRGIL: I got some magic arrows.
BRIX: And I have Svarth.
VIRGIL: Yep. So you guys take your wagon full of gold, and I’ll take the mule, and we’ll call it a day.
OAK: Excuse me – what?
VIRGIL: You take your wagon full of the gold we found for you, and I will take the mule, and we can call it even.
OAK: I don’t think so. That’s my mule.
VIRGIL: That’s not what his label says.
OAK: What are you talking about?

OAK turns the mule around. There is a big label on it that says “Property of Virgil.”

Aw, man!
VIRGIL: You can’t dispute the authority of the label.
FLOYD: He’s got you there.
BRIX: No, he doesn’t! Virgil, that mule does not belong to you.
VIRGIL: Who’s side are you on, Brix?
BRIX: I’m on the side of the one true God, Virgil.
VIRGIL: That guy is always harshing my gig!
GUY: Let it go, Virgil.
VIRGIL: Fine. But I tell you this now – someday, as your one true God is my witness, I will get a mode of transportation!
FLOYD: (to the audience) And he did, too, but that’s a story for another time.
CHRIS TENNISON: Bye, Oak! Bye, Liam!
OAK: See you guys around!

OAK and LIAM hop in their wagon and ride off.

GUY: Well, where to now?
VIRGIL: Somewhere within walking distance, I guess.
BRIX: You know, seeing Elliott got me to thinking – shouldn’t we check out the Tower of the Broken Moon? Virgil, he told you the Eye of Toth was still in there.
FLOYD: Yeah, probably in that Necromancers tower at the top.
GUY: What Necromancer’s tower at the top?
FLOYD: While you guys were fighting that big ass zombie, remember?
VIRGIL: You told us there was nothing up there!
FLOYD: I told you nothing of value was up there.
GUY: What do you think the Eye of Toth is, Floyd?
FLOYD: A big, gross, evil eye?
GUY: And that’s not valuable?
FLOYD: Do you know anyone who will give you money for it? Do you?
BRIX: I think you’re misinterpreting the idea of value, Floyd.
FLOYD: Yeah. I’m the one misinterpreting it.
GUY: Let’s go.

The party exits, except for FLOYD.

FLOYD: So, it was off to the Tower of the Broken Moon again, just on the outskirts of Dreia. You’re gonna have to trust me when I tell you nothing interesting happened when we went to get the Eye. However, since we went to the trouble of building a Necromancer’s Tower set…

B-STAGE opens. VIRGIL and CHRIS TENNISON are in the Necromancer’s chamber in the Tower of the Broken Moon from Part II, Act II. VIRGIL holds the Eye of Toth, a black, pulsating sphere, aloft.

CHRIS TENNISON: Cool! The Eye of Toth!

B-STAGE closes.

FLOYD: There. Happy? Anyway, things only got interesting once we took the Eye to Garam’s house.

Plains fly out. Interior of GARAM’s house flies in. GARAM sits in his chair; SALLY stands next to him. VIRGIL, BRIX, CHRIS TENNISON, and GUY are presenting the Eye of Toth to GARAM. FLOYD joins them.

GARAM: The Eye of Toth, huh?
BRIX: You betcha.

GARAM takes the Eye, looks at it, then passes it to SALLY.

GARAM: Here, Sally, take a… look.
VIRGIL: Ooh! Faux Pas!

SALLY takes the Eye and sticks it in her empty eye socket. Suddenly, a second all-black eye regenerates in her head.

GARAM: Uh-oh.
SALLY: Hey, I can see!
GUY: Son of a –
BRIX: That doesn’t look good!
GUY: Detect Evil!
FLOYD (to the audience) Remember how Guy can detect evil auras? I know, I know, it’s a long puppet show.
GUY: Well, she doesn’t seem to be evil… but the Eye sure as shit is.
SALLY: What? Shut up? No, you are!
BRIX: Sally? Who are you talking to?
SALLY: The Eye.
GUY: The Eye is talking to you?
GARAM: What does it say?
SALLY: It says to avoid The Horned King, The Harvester…
CHRIS TENNISON: Well, duh.
SALLY: … the man in the black cloak, and the red-skin man who lives with Zarin.
VIRGIL: Hold the fuck. I don’t know who those last two people are.
FLOYD: Can the Eye elaborate?
SALLY: Sorry. That’s all it will say.
BRIX: Avoid The Horned King…
VIRGIL: From the Wild Hunt. Remember?
BRIX: The Harvester…
GUY: No problem there, at least for a while.
BRIX: The man in the black cloak, and the red-skin man who lives with Zarin. Linus?
GUY: Who’s Linus?
BRIX: When we were prisoners in the Cathedral in Compassgate, Zarin said his name was Linus. Is that the red-skin man?
FLOYD: Oof. So many questions.
VIRGIL: Yeah. Can we talk about this further over a drink?
GUY: Sounds good. See you around, Garam.
GARAM: So wait, what? You’re just going to leave me alone with the black-eyed pea, here?
GUY: Dude, she’s not evil.
CHRIS TENNISON: Yeah, Garam. Lighten up. You’re a big boy… hm. No, that doesn’t sound right. You’re a grown mah… no, no. You’re an adult.
VIRGIL: If she starts acting up, just fireball her evil ass.
SALLY: Hey!
VIRGIL: Sorry, kid. Them’s the breaks when you wear the Eye of Toth.

The party exits. GARAM’s house flies out, and the exterior of the Jolly Badger Inn in Dreia flies in. The party enters.

BRIX: Times to get me some drunk!

BRIX and GUY enter the tavern. As they open the door, we hear:

SINGER:
Sings:
Unless your sword’s for piercing
In which case
You’re shit out of luck.

The door shuts.

FLOYD: Hey.
CHRIS TENNISON: Hey, I love that song!

CHRIS TENNISON enters the bar. FLOYD and VIRGIL follow. As they do, the exterior wall of the Badger flies out, revealing the interior. On stage, a GNOME is singing.

MITCHELL:
Sings:
Kukris, sickles, and greataxes
They all can have some fun –
But if you’re the sap who’s carrying a sap
Then you’re going to have none!

MITCHELL continues singing, under. Spoken:

FLOYD: Well, well, well! A cover! That’s a sign that you’ve made it big!
GUY: What are you talking about? A cover of what?
FLOYD: Seriously?

GUY shrugs.

Guy, that’s my song, “Zombie Shit That I Can’t Hit!” This guy is playing my song – that’s a big deal! It means I’m a famous songwriter!
GUY: You wrote this song?
FLOYD: Don’t you remember? I sang it the first time we fought those zombies at the Tower of the Broken Moon?
GUY: Floyd, I have a confession to make. When you sing, I tend to black out and go somewhere I call my “happy place.” It’s a place where I can chop fat, dandy gnomes like you into chum. I really love it there.

GUY walks away. MITCHELL finishes the song.

MITCHELL
Sings:
You’re shit out of luck!

Button. Spoken:

Thank you, thank you! That was “Zombie Shit That I Can’t Hit,” an original composition by me, Mitchell, Licensed Bard!
FLOYD: Who the what?
MITCHELL: I’m gonna take a short break now, but I’ll be back shortly with another one of the songs I totally wrote by myself and didn’t steal from anyone, “Take a Potion Why Don’tcha?”

Light applause as MITCHELL walks offstage and exits the inn. The exterior of the Badger flies in. MITCHELL stands outside, and lights his pipe. FLOYD enters.

FLOYD: Hey, I really enjoyed that last song.
MITCHELL: Thanks. I totally wrote it.
FLOYD: I bet I’m gonna enjoy the next one even more.
MITCHELL: Yeah?
FLOYD: Yeah.
MITCHELL: Really?
FLOYD: Really.
MITCHELL: What makes you say that?
FLOYD: Well, as it turns out, it’s because I WROTE BOTH OF THEM!

Pause.

MITCHELL: You’re crazy.
FLOYD: You sir, are a degenerate song thief!
MITCHELL: Prove it!
FLOYD: Oh, I’ll prove it, all right! Let’s break this down, musical dialogue style!
Sings:
You’re a song thief, Mitchell!
MITCHELL:
Am not!
FLOYD:Yes you are, yes you are you’re a
Dirty
Song thief
And I’ll prove it to you.
MITCHELL:Prove it!
FLOYD:
Pick a title, any title in your
Dirty, thieving song book,
And I’ll up and sing it to you!
MITCHELL:Fine!
FLOYD:Fine!
MITCHELL:
Yeah, you heard me, that’s fine!
I’m gonna pick,
Gonna pick a song title right now!
FLOYD:I’m standing here waiting!
MITCHELL:
I see that you are!
Relax, take a pill –
Let’s see if you know the lyrics
To “Fuck the Old Mill!”
FLOYD:
Fuck the Old Mill,
Fuck the Old Mill,
Fuck the Old Mill It’s HAUNTED –
MITCHELL:Okay, never mind,
I can see that you know the easy ones.
Everyone knows “Fuck the Old Mill,”
It’s my most famous song!
FLOYD:
MY most famous song!
MITCHELL:
Yeah,
You Keep saying that
But I don’t see you proving it!
FLOYD:Name another song,
God-damn you.
MITCHELL:
When I was a lad,
I ran afoul of a constable,
His name was Drooley,
And of him I once wrote –
FLOYD:
They call him Sheriff Drooley,
That buffoon Sheriff Drooley,
The idiot of Verl’s Crook and beyond –
MITCHELL:
See! Just goes to show
How wrong,
I said how wrong you really are!
FLOYD:
What
The
Fuck
Are you talking about?
MITCHELL:
Sheriff Drooley,
He’s a Marshall now!
He’s the Lord Marshall of
The city of Compassgate!
FLOYD:
Come over here
I want to smack you
In the mouth.
MITCHELL:
No!
FLOYD:
Simultaneous with MITCHELL, below:
You’re a song thief!
A dirty, filthy plagiarist!
And I’m gonna kill you!
Gonna grind your bones
With my teeth!

I’m gonna kill you in half!
Gonna take my rapier out
And stab, stab, stab!
Then I’m gonna take my fist
And punch you in the mouth!

MITCHELL:
Simultaneous with FLOYD, above:
This young gnome
has clearly gone mad!
'Tis truly a pity
Look at all
the potential that he had!

He's got granderous delusions!
he thinks he's a mighty fellow!
But I'm about to prove to him
gonna show him the power
of Code Duelo!
Button. Spoken:

FLOYD: Duelo?
MITCHELL: Surely, you’ve heard of Code Duelo. What kind of bard hasn’t?
FLOYD: I’m… still a wandering minstrel.
MITCHEL (delighted) Oh, that is CUTE!

GUY, VIRGIL, BRIX, and CHRIS TENNISON come outside.

CHRIS TENNISON: Hey, Mitchell, come back inside and play some more of those awesome songs.
MITCHELL: In a minute. First, I have to teach this milksop a lesson!
CHRIS TENNISON: Floyd?
GUY: Floyd Fiftynames. What did you do to this man?
FLOYD: This sumbitch stole my songs. He’s not getting away with it.
BRIX: Anyone want some popcorn?
VIRGIL: Ooh, me!

BRIX exits back into the bar.

FLOYD: So how does this work?
MITCHELL: Stand back to back with me.
FLOYD: (as he does) Okay…
MITCHELL: Then we take five paces, turn, and attack.
FLOYD: Sounds good.

FLOYD starts to walk.

One…

MITCHELL turns around and casts.

MITCHELL: Boom!

An energy blast knocks FLOYD over, unconscious. BRIX enters with popcorn, sees what has transpired.

BRIX: Aw, dag! Every time there’s supposed to be really good fight, it ends up being over early.

MITCHELL stands over FLOYD’s body.

MITCHELL: According to Code Duelo, I now get to choose one item from the person of the individual I have defeated. Bear witness.
VIRGIL: Now, hold the fuck on. Beating that gnome senseless by cheating is one thing, but stealing his stuff? That I can’t condone.
MITCHELL: You plan to stop me?
GUY: We all do.

GUY draws his axe. BRIX pulls out SVARTH. CHRIS TENNISON shrugs.

MITCHELL: Fine. Tell your little friend when he wakes up that due to this injustice I will see that he is forever barred from being a bard! (thinks that last sentence over) Yes, that’s right.

MITCHELL exits back into the bar.

GUY: Licensed bard? They can give you a license for what those two do?

END OF ACT I

Game Notes - Session 18

2009-09-14T14:12:00.001-07:00

Session XVIII Notes:

Gameplay begins in the aftermath of the Battle of the Cracked Flagon. The dust has settled and the wounded and fallen are being tended to. Oak, a human ranger, drives his rough cart up to the Flagon- pulled by his trusty mule and with his companion Liam Strongbow, a human fighter, asleep in the back. Oak and Liam had arrived looking for a drink and a warm evening and instead found the remnants of a siege and a party of adventures standing out front. These adventurers, our familiar heroes, were clutching a scrap of paper and arguing over the items listed on it. Introductions were made and a week and a half passed at the Cracked Flagon. During this time the following happened: 1) Virgil copied a map of the Twilight Lands from Murdock, 2) Abel was sent to Malus’s Farm with a note explaining the relationship between the Praetorian Armor and the Imperial Scepter, 3) Oak was interrogated for how he obtained a mule, 4) a discussion of the value of said mule and whether it should be classified as a rare item, and 4) the decision was made to head north to Scar Canyon.

After 11 days the party head north. They traveled quietly through the wintery grasslands and arrived at Scar Canyon 4 days later. They spent the night and in the morning began the exploration of the ravine. About 200 feet down they found a mutilated body of an adventurer. An inspection of his backpack revealed that: 1) he worked for Dugal, 2) that he was part of a group sent to find the secret of Scar Canyon, and 3) that most of the horses that Dugal has been hording were killed by a pestilence due to the crowded conditions in which they were kept- effectively leaving the area well and truly horseless.

Continuing down the ravine the party found a cave at the base of the canyon, a full 800 feet down. From within the cave they hear a serpentine chanting which Virgil identified as Draconic, and a religious ceremony worshipping “Malrotic”. Cautiously our heroes entered the cave and threaded their way past several traps to find 7 trogdlytes chanting at an Idol. Immediately a battle began where the party fought a running battle from room to room killing the trogs and eventually the hydra disturbed by the trog slaying (after stopping for rest halfway through (1 day)).

The hydra had a decent loot pile- 4000 gold pieces, 1 garnet, 1 opal, 2 arcane scrolls (Daze and Mending) and a suit of non-magical elven chainmail. A closer inspection of the area revealed a secret door behind a large stone. Immediately the party managed to manhandle the stone out of the way revealing a natural tunnel that had been sealed for centuries.

The tunnel came out on a ledge overlooking a massive underground cavern housing an enormous (colossal sized) skeleton of a hydra with 60 heads, fossilizing in the moldering cavern for untold centuries. As the party made its way down to the floor level Guy noticed a carving in the wall in a strange alien script that made his head hurt. Guy called the party’s attention and Virgil cast Comprehend Languages which revealed the language to be Illithid, and the translation as “Lord of the 6th Circle of Cthon”.

Upon reaching the base of the canyon the party looked out over untold and uncountable wealth. Coins like grains of sand, priceless works of art, and items of curiosity and wonder. Brixmor immediately cast detect magic and Virgil began identifying. None of the magic items were touched during the 6 days that Virgil continuously cast and rememorized until a full list of the items was made. Then they began to divvy up. The following items were cataloged:

The Handle of Svarth (no powers independent of the hammer)

Axe of Orcish Blood (+1 Greataxe)

* Shining Blade of St. Nathaniel (+2 longsword)

Hat of Gnomish Legacy (+1 dodge AC bonus, +2 Wisdom, detect illusions at will)

Stardust Arrows ( 10 arrows +4 to damage)

Cursed Belt of Gender Reversal (Guy believed this to be a belt of Giant Strength +8 until he put it on. Instead of +8 to Strength he got +4 to Charisma, -2 to Constitution, -2 to Wisdom, and became a female. He wears the belt still and hopes the party can find access to Remove Curse or Break Enchantment before Aunt Flo comes to visit.)

Gloves of the Nimble Thief (+1 Dex, +2 Open Locks, +2 Disable Device)

Gloves of the Archer (Summons bow of your choice up to 4 miles distant)

Boots of the North (maintains a comfortable temperature for the wearer regardless of the environment)

Farwalker Boots (+10 to Movement Rate, does not stack with Expeditious Retreat or like spells and effects)

Boots of the Jester (When jumping heel click is performed, wearer is teleported 40 ft in a random direction)
Red Enameled Full Plate +4 (Revealed to be cursed armor of constricting when Brixmor donned it. Brixmor was saved from being crushed to death but the armor was destroyed extracting him)

* Illrean Ranger Armor- Captain Rank (+3 studded Leather, Max Dex +12, Move Silently +4, Hide in Shadows +6, Protection from Normal Missiles 1/week)

Scales of the White Worm (+2 Scale Mail, energy resistance cold 15)

Rhino Hide (+2 hide, light armor, max Dex +6, Victim of charge by the wearer considered bull rushed)

* Breastplate of Prince Calais (+4 Armor bonus, alien design, like cloth, deflects all 2nd level or lower spells)

Gnomish Vengance (+1 Brilliant Energy light pick)

+2 Keen Kukri of Wounding (Cursed Beserking, Liam was subdued and his hand chopped off after attacking the party un-controllably with this weapon)

* Harvest Sickle (+3 Keen Unholy Vicious Sickle of Life Stealing)

One of the 12 Coins of the Betrayer

* Cthonic Helmet (helm made to fit an Illithid, grants anyone with the mind blast ability the option to convert the mind blast into a Dominate Monster Spell)

High Thane’s Axe of Office (non-dwarves: +2 flaming burst Dwarven Waraxe; dwarves: +3 flaming burst Dwarven Waraxe of Constitution +2; if held by the dwarf destined to be High Thane the Axe sings (it did not sing for Brixmor))

Wand of Identify – 20 charges

Wand of Burning Hands – CL 5, 40 charges

Scrolls of Summon Monster 1, Halt Undead, Rage, Remove Curse, Illusionary Wall, Stone Shape, Symbol of Pain, Otto’s Irresistible Dance

Potions of Bull’s Strength, Barkskin X 2, Expeditious Retreat X 3, Cure Moderate Wounds

While the party was arguing about how to get out with every last copper piece they heard a loud noise from outside. Rushing to investigate they saw Elliot dismount from the back of a Dracoliche with 12 small green skinned humanoids. Elliot turns to the humanoids and says “After I lead you below, tell your master my debt is paid in full. There is enough wealth to finance whatever wars you wish to begin.” Of note, one of the humanoids is carrying a small box. The party decides that they can’t let the treasure fall into the wrong hands and prepares to attack. So ends the session.

End of Session XVIII

Game Notes - Session 19

2009-09-14T14:10:00.000-07:00

Session XIX Notes:

Gameplay begins as the party gets ready to fight Elliott and his forces. However, cooler heads prevail, and the decision is made to get out of there. When the party heads to the top of the canyon, they run into Floyd, who had been on his way to the Shield Splitter Inn to use the portal to get to Arimathea, but decides to stay with the party. The group goes back to the cave, and finds it cleaned out of everything, even the 60 head hydra skeleton. Virgil is upset by this.

After Oak departs the group (almost coming to blows with Virgil over who gets Oak’s mule), the party heads to Drea, and the Tower of the Broken Moon. They head to the top of the tower and find the Eye of Toth. The group then heads to Drea, with Guy stopping off at Garam’s to give him the eye for research. After a brief sojourn at Havern’s, the party goes to the Inn of the Jolly Badger, where Floyd is surprised to discover a gnomish bard named Mitchell singing one of his songs, and taking credit for it. Floyd challenges him to a fight, only to discover that he is woefully outmatched. Mitchell, after defeating Floyd, quotes a code called “Duelo” and claims that he is entitled to one item of his choice off of Floyd’s person. The party informs him this will not happen, and they fight him off. Mitchell disappears, threatening to keep Floyd forever barred from becoming a bard.

The party visits Havern again, where they get their weapons, and Garam, where they discuss some of their findings, particularly the Harvesters’ Scythe. Unbeknownst to them, Sally gets the Eye of Toth and insterts it into her socket, where she finds she is able to heal herself. She offers to heal Liam’s hand, and does so, but the regeneration is completely black, as is the eye that Sally creates for herself. Garam determines that Sally has not become evil, and assures the party he will do the right thing if it comes to it. Sally tells the party the eye called to her, and that the eye recommends she avoid four people: The Horned King, the Harvester, a man in a black cloak, and a man with red skin who hangs out around Linus / Zarin (possibly in his psyche).

The boys then head to The Warrior’s Rest, where they find that a new, cheery employee works there. They go to talk to the regular proprieter, who suddenly catches wind of the Hunt’s release, and gives the party a super duper dose of Expeditious Retreat, and sends them in the direction of Doovin. The boys bust ass to get to Doovin’s just beating the Horned King out once they arrive on Doovin’s farm. After sleeping the night, Doovin listens to the party’s story (a three hour affair via Floyd), then offers to let the boys store the Harvester’s Scythe there in his magic tool shed, though he recommends that they not store the Shiva Sword there (Doovin is able to draw the sword without it killing the bejesus out of him). He also shows them that he is the protector of the body of the Proclaimer, whose corpse remains fresh despite being dead for a very, very long time. The irony comes to light that Doovin is unable to go to heaven despite being one of its greatest mortal champions. While they are with Doovin, they learn the following:

The Shiva Sword has the power to undo creation (we already kind of knew this)
Nothing evil is able to enter Doovin’s property
The Harvester must undergo a one-month preparation for the Harvest
The “Tallyman” is not death itself, but an aspect of death
There are people born 100 years ago in the year of the Ram, and likely from years before
There are 12 members of the current Year of the Ram class, and though some have been slain, they may be alive again
Toth is a pagan god; using the eye’s powers takes pieces of your soul as collateral
Doogal is planning on marching on Compassgate in two weeks

Doovin offers the party the services of some flying white horses for six days. Guy and Floyd go to make peace with the human village that wiped out Yish, only to find citizens of that village racist / speciesist beyond reason. Guy and Floyd pay for the release of their only prisoner, Bricka, who harbors no ill feelings towards the boys, knowing that the conflict was to be inevitable. He tells them that the survivors of Yish joined / formed new villages, and he is no longer a chief, and that he will now wander the land as a journeyman for hire. Guy and Floyd offer him a position with them defending Compassgate, give him some starting cash, and part ways.

They join the rest of the party en route to Malus’ only to discover that the place has been untended for a few weeks, and that Abel is murdered and on the property. No sign of Malus anywhere leaves the party worried. They head for Compassgate, and the horses depart them in time to settle down for the night at the monastery.

End of Session XIX

Session XVII: Floyd's Puppet Theatre Interpretation

2009-09-10T13:28:00.000-07:00

The Order of the Abbey, Part Three: Puzzles and Traps

Act VI

Curtain opens on the exterior of the Cracked Flagon, early in the morning. FLOYD, BRIX, GUY, VIRGIL, and CHRIS TENNISON enter, weary from their long journey, but anxious for what is about to go down.

BRIX: Ah, the Cracked Flagon! What a sight for sore eyes!
CHRIS TENNISON: It’ll be nice to go in a put our feet up for a while.
GUY: Let’s not forget we’ve got business to attend to.
CHRIS TENNISON: Who could forget with you reminding us every ten minutes?

Enter ETHAN, ART, ZARIN (LINUS) and ORIN.

ETHAN: Hi boys – look what we found.
VIRGIL: Orin! Good to see you again.
ORIN: Fellas. Sorry about the freak-out last time we met.
VIRGIL: Eh – we’re used to it.

Enter PSKENART with a new friend. This is ARTAMUS.

PSKENART: Hi!
BRIX: Pskenart! Good to see you. Who’s this?
PSKENART: This here’s my friend Artamus.
BRIX: Hi.
ARTAMUS: Hello. I look forward to getting to know you all.
FLOYD: Yeah, something tells me that’s not going to happen.
ARTAMUS: Why?
FLOYD: (suddenly cheery) No reason! Come on, Artamus – let me buy you a drink, a cigarette, and a blindfold.

FLOYD exits into the Flagon with ARTAMUS.

BRIX: Pskenart, this my old mentor, Dr. Ethan.
PSKENART: Charmed!

PSKENART shakes ETHAN’s hand as he says this, accidentally charming ETHAN.

Oops! I keep forgetting that I do that.
BRIX: Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. He may never let you near him again, though. Come on, Ethan!
ETHAN: (charmed and unnaturally cheery) Sure!

TOK enters from within the Flagon, polishing a glass. CHRIS TENNISON is counting everyone as they go in.

CHRIS TENNISON: 11, 12, 13. Well, Tok, you ready for us to double your business?

The exterior of the Flagon opens up, revealing the interior. There are a butt load of people in here, including: GARAM, VIGGIO, HAVERN, BROMIR, ABEL, MURDOCK, DOYLE, PAXTON, ARTURO, TITUS, MARCUS, MARTIN, and even little SALLY, in addition to GUY, FLOYD, BRIX, GRAHAM, PSKENART, ARTAMUS, ETHAN, ORIN, ART, ERIC, SAMARID, and ZARIN. CHRIS TENNISON stares wide-eyed at the whole group assembled within. TOK enters.

TOK: Be my guest.
CHRIS TENNISON: (to GUY) Holy mother of crap! There must be forty people here!
VIRGIL: Yeah, and most of them are balls-to-the-wall with magic gear.
GUY: Party huddle!

GUY, BRIX, VIRGIL, and CHRIS TENNISON huddle up.

Okay, it’s very important that we cover the whole story here without boring these guys – to the point, but we cover all the major elements, okay, Floyd?

GUY notices FLOYD isn’t in the huddle.

Floyd? Oh, son of a bitch.

The huddle breaks up, revealing FLOYD in full storytelling mode.

FLOYD: … so we broke the fuck out of the cathedral, and agreed we should give you guys a call, and that’s why we’re all gathered here today. Any questions?
TITUS: I have one. When you guys broke out of the cathedral, was Guy still in his gnome makeover outfit?
FLOYD: Good question, but sadly, no. Faust had taken our possessions and we didn’t have time to re-disguise Guy.
TITUS: Oh. Well, that would’ve been funny.

General agreement.

GUY: Are you done? We need to tell them about the Harvester.
MURDOCK: Oh, don’t worry. Floyd told us all about it.
GUY: You… you already told them everything?
GARAM: Yep. The whole story.
GUY: ALL of it?
SAMARID: Every last word, as far as we know.
GUY: Great. So I suppose you guys know about the Shiva Sword and everything.
DOYLE: Shiva sword?
PAXTON: What?
PSKENART: You guys have the Apocalypse sword?

General murmuring breaks out.

FLOYD: Dude, I do have some discretionary powers.
MARCUS: Where did you find this sword?
GUY: Um… never mind about the sword. We’ve got bigger fish to fry right now.
VIRGIL: For rizzle. The Harvest is nigh!

Beat.

DOYLE: Can we see the Shiva Sword?

Everyone starts talking at once. GRUTH enters.

GRUTH: Yo!

All eyes on GRUTH. Many hands find their weapons.

VIRGIL: Gruth. You picked an interesting way to die.
GRUTH: I’ve come to offer you all one more chance. Join forces with Doogal, or be destroyed.
GUY: No dice, Gruth. Now lets you and me step outside so I can sell you for parts.
GRUTH: Oh, I’d love to step outside. You see, I have the place surrounded.

Murmur.

Seeing as how you won’t join our cause, I’ll just take the girl and be on my way.
BRIX: Come get her.
GRUTH: Fair enough.

GRUTH exits.

CHRIS TENNISON: …maybe he doesn’t know where she is.
VIRGIL: Or maybe he went outside to get his army. Quick, everyone – prep spells!

An explosion. The wall of the Flagon collapses, revealing an army of kobolds, lizardfolk, orcs, gnolls, a hill giant, and dwarven and human mercenaries. GRUTH hops on a black dragon and flies away.

GRUTH: I’ll come back and clean up the mess. Attack!

BIG FIGHT happens in slo-mo while light focuses on FLOYD and whomever he’s singing about. FLOYD takes up a position in the down right corner.

FLOYD:
Sings:
When the battle that rages
Is one for the ages
It’s appropriate to write a song
And as these songs go
You inevitably know
That they’re cool, but my God, are they long –

So I shan’t be surprisecd
By the look in your eyes
When I play the following chord –
But I’ve got some leverage
So order a beverage
And I promise that you won’t be bored.

What cracked the flagon?
It sure weren’t no black dragon –
Or a dragon by his lonesome, anyway.
It didn’t come on a wagon
To destroy the Cracked Flagon
On that momentous and ultimately vict’rous day!

Now, this song that is so true
Starts, as they most often do,
With a profile of the heroes of this fight –
And since they’re all good friends,
I’m sure we’ll make amends
When in this song of them I do make light .

First, there’s the cleric Brix
He’s the dwarf that’s in our mix
He’s tough as hell; hell, he only has one eye!
He got his dwarfly bod
By worshipping his God
And drinking ale that tastes like marble rye.

And then, Virgil the Ranger
Has never known a danger
That couldn’t lay him out with just one blow
He’ll track you to the end
Up the creek or round the bend
Then shoot you from afar with an arrow.

And when I’m on the road again
With a monk who’s named Chris Tennison
I’ll make sure to pack a cure potion or two –
He’d have everlasting fame,
But he’s had so many names
That too often folks are asking, “who are you?”

Still, Guy’s the one in this show
That you’ll really want to know –
He’s a gnome without the sense to wear a hat!
And while fighting is his nature,
He earned his nomenclature
By sporting such thoroughly average stats.

And I’m the bard named Floyd
Who you’ll likely want to avoid
Rumor is that I’ll eat you outta house and home –
I once downed a ½ lb steak,
And while that doesn’t sound too great,
Keep in mind that I’m a 3’8 ½ inch gnome.

And there were also Ethan and Orin,
Who came with us, exploring
To the Flagon on that very fateful day –
Pskenart and Artamus were there,
The glory of this tale they share
For they joined us when we met them on the way.

At the Flagon we did meet,
A great council, thought discreet,
To divvy up the issues of the day –
There was Tok and the minotaur, Graham,
And the rest of the year of the Ram,
But of this, there’s not much more that I should say.

While we met to save the world
Of whose problems were unfurled
Before us, the bar door opened wide
And in stepped a sinister man
Who thought it was his plan
To kidnap a human child that was inside

The man, named Gruth, opined,
And we respectfully declined,
So naturally he challenged us to a fight
A great and mighty battle
For whom the heavens themselves would rattle
Begun that day and lasting well into the night –

What cracked the flagon?
It sure weren’t no black dragon –
Or a dragon by his lonesome, anyway.
It didn’t come on a wagon
To destroy the Cracked Flagon
On that momentous and ultimately vict’rous day!

Gruth had brought with him a force
To be reckoned with, of course,
A horde of mercenaries and slaves
Kobolds and evil men,
Lizardfolk and their shaman,
Came through the front and back door in large waves.

And waiting there outside
With his great maw open wide
A hill giant waited for his turn
While a dwarf force from the north
Approached the windows, coming forth
And a fire to the roof was set to burn!

With siege laid to the Cracked Flagon,
Gruth rode off on a dragon,
Coward that he was, he would not fight that day
Still, left within the wake
Of Gruth and his flying drake
A small army was left for us to slay!

They poured in through the door,
A hundred, maybe, more,
And our brave and valiant heroes took them all –
But still, they charged inside,
Sometimes four astride,
Blasting smoking holes throughout the walls!

And fighting the attack,
We fought and struggled back,
First to gain, and then to lose the upper hand –
Separated as we were,
We were in serious danger
Of this being the end of our faithful band.

And though Artamus was slain,
His courage was not in vain,
Nor Arturo, who also met his end –
For a message was sent to Gruth,
That his minions, the great uncouth,
Were just fodder for us easily to rend.

We soon had them on the run,
But we found they weren’t done,
For no sooner did we have them than the dragon did return,
But the beast, it was no match
For our forces were dispatched
And they made short work of that vile wyrm.

What cracked the flagon?
It sure weren’t no black dragon –
Or a dragon by his lonesome, anyway.
It didn’t come on a wagon
To destroy the Cracked Flagon
On that momentous and ultimately vict’rous day!

Though the Flagon lay in ruin,
We knew that it would rise again
Like a pheonix from the ashes, this inn would be restored
It would see its former glory
To be the subject of a story
To leave you twice as entertained and half as bored!

What cracked the flagon?
It sure weren’t no black dragon –
Or a dragon by his lonesome, anyway.
It didn’t come on a wagon
To destroy the Cracked Flagon
On that momentous and ultimately vict’rous day!

Button; end of song.

When it’s all said and done, ARTURO, BROMIR, and ARTAMUS lay dead among the allies, the rest, though bloodied, bruised, and beaten, stand victorious. A small number of mercenaries have surrendered to VIRGIL and PSKENART; all the others combatants are dead, including the black dragon under the axe of GUY.

The Cracked Flagon, on the other hand, is in bad shape. Walls are knocked out, the thatched roof is burned, and there are broken chairs, tables, bottles, and stools everywhere, to say nothing of the bodies and the cuts in the floorboards, bar, etc. TOK looks on sadly at the shambles of his establishment.

CHRIS TENNISON: That was a hell of a battle!

BRIX begins praying over the dead.

PSKENART: What do you want to do with our captives, Virgil?
VIRGIL: They were in it for the money. I say we let them go on the condition that they never return to the Twilight Lands again.
MERCENARY CAPTAIN: Thank’ee, kind sir. We will retreat home northward and tell of your kindness.

The surviving MERCENARIES exit.

CHRIS TENNISON: Wow, Virgil… that was… very un-Virgil-like of you.
VIRGIL: What can I say? I’m all killed out for today.

ABEL approaches GUY.

ABEL: Guy… Floyd told us about Malus and the Preatorian Guard armor, and about the Imperial Scepter.
GUY: Some discretionary powers, huh, Floyd?
FLOYD: I said SOME.
ABEL: I think the best thing for me to do is to go to Malus’ farm and try to explain this relationship, especially now that the scepter is in the hands of Cardinal Nikolai.
GUY: Good idea.

VIRGIL approaches MURDOCK. ABEL exits.

MURDOCK: Virgil. Floyd says you guys could use a map of the area?
VIRGIL: We sure could.
MURDOCK: Here. You can copy mine.
VIRGIL: Much obliged, ace!

VIRGIL begins to copy MURDOCK’s map. CHRIS TENNISON approaches TOK.

CHRIS TENNISON: Hey, Tok…
TOK: No need to comfort me, son. I’ve lost buildings to bar fights before.
GRAHAM: Still, that was one hell of a bar fight.
TOK: That it was, that it was.
CHRIS TENNISON: I was going to ask you for a beer.

TOK stares at CHRIS TENNISON hard. In the distance, we hear wagon wheels. A man, OAK, pulls up in a wagon with a mule. An archer, LIAM STRONGBOW, sits in the back of the wagon.

OAK: Come, Liam Strongbow, this is my favorite watering hole. We can have a drink and… what the fuck?

The wagon stops short.

TOK: Welcome to the Cracked Flagon, what can I get you?
OAK: What the hell happened here?
FLOYD: Do I really have to sing the song again? It’s like five pages long.
TOK: No need. (to OAK) Big fight.
OAK: I thought fighting was outlawed at the Flagon.
GUY: BIG fight.
OAK: How big, exactly? Describe it to me in song.

VIRGIL finishes copying MURDOCK’s map and heads over.

GUY: Not now, okay?
VIRGIL: Hey, what’s going on here – what the bullshit! (to OAK with great intensity) Where did you find that mule?
OAK: I bought it, it’s mine.
VIRGIL: Where? Where did you buy it? Tell me!
OAK: What’s this guy’s problem?
BRIX: Modes of transportation have been hard to come by around here, on account of Doogal.
OAK: Doogal, eh? Never heard of him.

Beat.

VIRGIL: Get the fuck out.
BRIX: Easy now, Virgil. Maybe Oak knows where we can buy another horse.
OAK: Nope, sorry, this was the last one at the stable.
VIRGIL: Get. The. Fuck. Out.
GUY: Where is the stable where you bought the mule?
OAK: Little place up near Scar canyon.
VIRGIL: Then that’s where we’re headed.

VIRGIL marches off north where OAK came from.

OAK: Okay…
CHRIS TENNISON: We’ll catch up with him. Sit down, have a drink.
TOK: I’ve got beer with glass in it, and gnomish blue.
BRIX: I’ll have a beer with glass in it.

GARAM enters with SALLY.

GARAM: I’m taking Sally back to Dreia. Try not to start anymore huge battles.
CHRIS TENNISON: No promises.

GARAM and SALLY exit. FLOYD approaches LIAM STRONGBOW.

FLOYD: So, Artamus, you want me to buy you that drink now?
LIAM STRONGBOW: Artamus? Who’s that?

PSKENART approaches.

FLOYD: Pskenart, I think your friend has amnesia from the fight.
PSKENART: Artamus is dead, Floyd.
FLOYD: Then who is this?
LIAM STRONGBOW: I’m Liam.
FLOYD: Weird. You want Artamus’ drink?
LIAM STRONGBOW: I thought you’d never ask.

PSKENART, LIAM, and FLOYD cross to the bar. GRAHAM begins to sweep up. ZARIN enters, sneaks off into the night. ERIC, SAMARID, ETHAN, and ART set up a table and begin talking.

OLD TOM enters, whistling a tune. He stops short when he sees the devastation of the Cracked Flagon, and looks at all the adventurers picking up the pieces and drinking.

OLD TOM: God-damned adventurers.

END OF ACT VI

END OF PART III

Game Notes Session 17

2009-09-10T13:25:00.000-07:00

Session XVII Notes:

Gameplay begins as the party gets ready to leave the Shield Splitter Inn. The group that heads to the Cracked Flagon comprises: Virgil, Floyd, Guy, Brix, Chris Tennison, Dr. Ethan, Brother Art, Zarin, and Orin. On the way, they meet up with Pskenart and his new traveling companion, Artamus, and they decide to accompany the group to the Flagon.

It’s when the party arrives at the inn that the real fun starts. The assembled arrive, to discover the following people waiting for them:

Cracked Flagon Employees:
Tok
Graham

Party Associates:
Samared
Eric
Garam
Viggio
Bromir
Havern
Abel
Murdock
Doyle
Paxton
Arturo
Titus
Sally
Martin
Marcus

Everyone waits patiently for the party to start telling the story, and Virgil and Floyd primarily, tell everyone the story of the release of the Harvester, the upcoming Harvest (with Sally corroborating the description of the Harvester). In addition, they tell the story of Cardinal Nikolai and his secret room, and about the loss of the Imperial Scepter and the notion that there has been evidence of goblin activity in the Twilight Lands. The meat of the matter is discussing Doogal, and his plans, but the party is interrupted by the arrival of Gruth, who comes to inform the folks in the Cracked Flagon that they’re surrounded, and that the demand for a peaceful departure is for the party to turn over Sally to him. When the group turns down his request, Gruth exits, Virgil follows, and a grand battle ensues.

The party fights a contigent consisting of a large group of kobolds, including minor and advanced warriors (champions), shamans, and a warchief, human warriors, a group of dwarven mercenaries and their captain, orcs, lizardmen warriors and shamans, gnolls, and a hill giant. Gruth escapes on a black dragon.

The fight is a decisive victory for the Cracked Flagon residents, with three casualties on their side, with Arturo, Artamus, and Bromir being the only deaths, whereas the attackers are almost completely destroyed (Gruth escapes, and a small number of the dwarven mercenaries and their captain surrender and survive.

At the conclusion of the battle, the group determines that they will go to their respective allies and try to raise forces against Doogal, with the intent being to reconvene at the Flagon in three months time. The party, meanwhile, decides to head north to get the other part of Brix's weapon, Svarth.

End of Session XVII

Sessions XV & XVI: Floyd's Puppet Theatre Interpretation

2009-09-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

The Order of the Abbey, Part Three: Puzzles and Traps
Act V

Curtain opens in an alleyway. VIRGIL is facing a brick wall.

VIRGIL: All right, Virgil. You got yourself into this, you can get yourself out. You came through a portal, and you don’t know where you are, and you don’t know how to get back. It could be worse.

From above, a big load of garbage and excrement falls on VIRGIL.

Scratch that.

VIRGIL starts pressing bricks. One lights up and causes the rest of the wall to turn blue.

Bingo.

VIRGIL exits by jumping through the portal just as FLOYD, CHRIS TENNISON, and BRIX jump through the other side and out into the alley. The bricks turn red again. They look around furtively for VIRGIL.

BRIX: Virgil? Virgil?

Beat.

Well, crap, where is he?

FLOYD plays with the bricks until the bricks turn blue again.

FLOYD: There’s our ride.

FLOYD and CHRIS TENNISON jump through the portal. BRIX moves to go, too, but he ends up bumping into VIRGIL, who jumps back through into the alley.

BRIX: Oomph! Virgil?
VIRGIL: Hey, cowboy.
BRIX: Where did you come from?
VIRGIL: The portal. Duh?
BRIX: Yes, but how did we not see you?
VIRGIL: I’ve come to not question the logic of magic portals too much.

From above, another big load of garbage and excrement.

On the other hand, someone up there is going to have several questions to answer from me.

FLOYD, CHRIS TENNISON, and GUY jump through the portal, and rejoin BRIX and VIRGIL in the alley.

BRIX: Guy? I thought you were –
VIRGIL: Magic portal, my friend. You REALLY don’t want to know.
GUY: So, let’s check out Compassgate!

The boys walk out of the alley. The brick wall moves out as a bustling city streetscape flies in. Passersby move across the stage in both directions. GUY stops one of them, a YOUNG MAN.

GUY: Excuse me, good sir, but where is the magic shop located in this city?
YOUNG MAN: If it was up your butt, you’d know it.

GUY’s eyes narrow into murder. HE chops the YOUNG MAN in half.

VIRGIL: Goddamn, Guy.
GUY: What?

VIRGIL yanks GUY back into the alley. FLOYD puts his hands in his pockets, and moves away from the scene of the crime, whistling. TWO uniformed officers approach BRIX & CHRIS TENNISON.

OFFICER #1: Excuse me, sonny jimbo, did you see who murdered this here young man?
BRIX: Um…
CHRIS TENNISON: As a matter of fact, we did not.
OFFICER #2: Works for me. Let’s go have flapjacks.

The OFFICERS exit.

BRIX: I feel so dirty.
CHRIS TENNISON: You’ll get used to it.

VIRGIL appears from the alley, and drags CHRIS TENNISON and BRIXMORE back. FLOYD re-enters.

FLOYD: Hello? Where is everyone?
VIRGIL: (O.S.) Psst! Floyd! This way.
FLOYD: Hm. When given the choice of following a disembodied whisper or standing here in public with a corpse, disembodied whisper wins by a surprising margin.

FLOYD exits into the alley. City flies out, alleyway returns. All the boys:

VIRGIL: Now that Guy is officially wanted for murder, Floyd, we’re gonna need you to disguise him.
FLOYD: You… you want me to use my disguise kit?
VIRGIL: Yes. It makes sense.
FLOYD: I get to dress up Guy however I want?
VIRGIL: Within reason.
FLOYD: What if…
GUY: No.
FLOYD: Then maybe…
GUY: Nope.
FLOYD: Okay, well imagine that –
GUY: No!
FLOYD: Why don’t I just make you look like a gnome?
GUY: I already am a gnome.
FLOYD: Biologically speaking, I suppose. But a gnome wandering around wearing animal skins and no hat and brandishing a big sword –
GUY: It’s an axe, goon.
FLOYD: - well, he isn’t really a gnome at all, is he?
BRIX: He has a point, laddie.
CHRIS TENNISON: Yeah, I’ve been meaning to bring that up.
GUY: You have? In what context?
CHRIS TENNISON: I considered holding an intervention.
FLOYD: Shush, now. The gnome-ification process is delicate. It can’t be forced.
Sings:
A Gnome is not coarse
Nor is he ever vile,
A Gnome never has stinky breath
If he tells you a story
It may take a while
And a Gnome will never, ever,
Bludgeon you to death…

I’m gonna make you a Gnome in no time flat,
You’ll look so good you won’t know where you’re at
Gonna make you a round belly that is fat,
And I’m gonna top it off with a pointy, silly hat!

FLOYD, with help from VIRGIL, BRIX, and CHRIS TENNISON, begin to “make over” GUY.

I always wondered why your face looked so weird
Then I realized you never covered it with a beard
So I put one on you and everybody cheered
VIRGIL, BRIX, & CHRIS TENNISON: Yay!
FLOYD: These hairs came from some lady pubes I sheared!
VIRGIL: He needs some clothes that aren’t made out of fur
FLOYD: Good suggestion, Virgil, we’ll fix that up for sure
CHRIS TENNISON: It’s as though Guy has just received a cure
BRIX: We’re gonna see exactly how much he can endure!
ALL (excluding GUY):
A Gnome looks just like this,
His nails are always clean
And his hair is always perfectly in place
No smudges on his face or toes or anywhere between!
FLOYD: Gonna dress you up in a silky, shiny shirt
Gonna take this loincloth and bury it in the dirt
Watch out for the ladies, they sure do love to flirt
With a dandy fellow like you out on alert!
Now you look like a Gnome,
ALL (excluding Guy):
Sure as any illustration that you’ll find in a tome!

Button. GUY is now dressed from head to toe in Gnomish finery. He has a beard, and pointy hat, and a round little belly, and pointy shoes.

FLOYD: What do you think?
GUY: I think it’s surprising that you did this to me when you know that I’ve already killed once today.
FLOYD: Surprising?
GUY: Well, maybe not surprising. More like frustrating. How many murders do I have to commit to make you scared of me?
BRIX: Come on, we need to get moving if we’re going to find Brother Ethan in a town this big.

The boys exit. Alley out, street scene in. A chalk outline lies around the spot where the YOUNG MAN died.

VIRGIL: Careful, boys. Don’t get fingerprints on the crime scene.
CHRIS TENNISON: Oh, that’s not a crime scene. I drew that while you guys were singing.

The boys walk a little further down the street. Literally next door to where GUY killed the YOUNG MAN is the magic shop.

GUY: Hm. How ‘bout that?

The party walks into the magic shop. The interior of the shop flies in, where a stately half-elf minds the store.

SHOPKEEP: Hi, you want to buy magic items?
BRIX: We sure do, shopkeep!
SHOPKEEP: Great! Can I see your permit?
GUY: Permit?
SHOPKEEP: Why yes, my adorably pudgy little gnome friend. Magical items can’t be sold in Compassgate without a permit. So, do you have one?
GUY: Yes I do….

GUY pulls out his axe and waves it around furiously.

Right here! How’s this for a permit?!

Flashing lights outside. An amplified voice:

OFFICER #1: Don’t move! We have you surrounded!
VIRGIL: Guy… God. DAMN.

Exeunt all. A courthouse flies in. A CLERK is inside, and the party enters accompanied by the two OFFICERS.

CHRIS TENNISON: So, officer, what happens now?
OFFICER #2: You’ve got to explain your case to the judge.
CHRIS TENNISON: The judge? Which one is he?
OFFICER #1: Here he comes now.

The JUDGE enters, accompanied by music and dancing GIRLS.

JUDGE:
Sings:
I’m the judge!
I’m the judge!
And I’m here to hear your case!
I will give
You a nudge
Into jail or throw you out of here on your face!
Spoken:
BRIX: Neither one of those options sounds particularly pleasant.
JUDGE:
Sings:
When you’re here
With the judge
There are rules you must obey!
Stand up straight,
Speak up, son,
And never, ever run away!
GIRLS:
He’s the judge
When he rules,
Things are bound to go his way!
You’ll submit,
Or you’re fools
If you don’t bow to this display!

Button. The GIRLS exit, winking and giggling at the JUDGE.

GIRLS: Bye, judge, etc!
JUDGE: So, what seems to be the problem here?
CLERK: Your honor, these young lads are charged with threatening a merchant with a deadly weapon.
JUDGE: Boys, is this true?

The gang confers for a minute. Finally, FLOYD speaks for the group.

FLOYD: Your honor, my name is Floyd Fiftynames. I’m speaking for our group on the grounds that I’m the least objectional-looking.
JUDGE: Agreed. Go on, Mr. Fiftynames.
FLOYD: Your honor, I know when a cute, pudgy little gnome brandishes a mighty war axe in a mercantile store and yells at the proprietor, it may appear the proprietor is being threatened. However, this conclusion would have been reached on the basis of the evidence at hand, and not the situation that led to the brandishing.
JUDGE: What situation?
FLOYD: Simply this – my traveling companion and brother was simply checking his axe to see if the permit was affixed to his blade. As it so happens, the only reason he was shaking it was to knock the permit loose if in fact it had become wedged to the metal after the paper had become wet.
JUDGE: And the yelling?
FLOYD: Tourettes, your honor. It’s a mental disease in which the patient screams obscenities uncontrollably.
JUDGE: Why should I believe your story, Mr. Fiftynames?
FLOYD: Well, your honor, if this is the truth, then my brother is mentally unbalanced, yes?
JUDGE: Clearly.
FLOYD: And why would I, a self-respecting dandy, admit to having a mongoloid sibling in this stigma-ridden, medieval-inspired society?
JUDGE: You have a point. Very well, I’m ready to make my ruling. I find the defendants –

One of the GIRLS enters.

GIRL: Excuse me, your honor?
JUDGE: - yes?
GIRL: May we see you outside for an urgent and sexy matter?
JUDGE: (to the boys) One moment, lads.

The JUDGE gets up and exits.

Here COME the judge!

Silence. The boys look at each other uncomfortably. Finally, it is GUY that speaks up.

GUY: I’m just saying it’s a sad state of affairs when even the one-off NPCS come in here singing and dancing with chorus girls. Something should be done about it.
VIRGIL: I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
CHRIS TENNISON: No, no. Don’t say that. It’s going to be fine.
VIRGIL: When is it ever fine?
CHRIS TENNISON: Odds are it has to be fine one of these days, right?

The doors open and FAUST enters.

BRIX: I’ll take that bet.

FAUST holds out a gem.

FAUST: Boom!

The gem knocks the boys unconscious. The curtain closes. B-Stage opens. We are back under the sea. MER-FLOYD swims in with LILY the MER-GNOME.

LILY: What a magical afternoon this has been, Floyd!
FLOYD: Tell me about it, Lily. We went on a picnic, you showed me your collection of discarded trash –
LILY: Those are precious artifacts from the world on land, Floyd.
FLOYD: Lily. Take it from someone who’s been there. Those are forks and hairbrushes and pornographic magazines.
LILY: Yes, but it’s a veritable library of DNA!
FLOYD: Um, gross.
LILY: You know what would make this day perfect, Floyd?
FLOYD: Sandwich and a BJ?
LILY: …if you would sing me a song.
FLOYD: Your wish is my command.
Sings:
Lil, we’ve had some good times
In the salty, briny sea,
You gotta know no other Mer-Gnome
Has ever meant as much to me,
But the time has come for Floyd
To return to the dry land –
To shed his flippy-floppy fish tail
And once more walk upon the sand.
But someday I’ll return to you
Whenever I may dream
And all that separates us
Will not be all it seems
Yes, Lily I’ll return to you
One bright magical day
And if I don’t I’m fairly sure that you’re
A hallucination anyway.

Spoken:
LILY: I love you, Floyd Fiftynames, wandering Mer-Gnome minstrel!
FLOYD: And Lily, you’ve got real nice hair and killer boobies. For seriously.

B-Stage closes as A-Stage opens to reveal FLOYD, GUY, BRIX, VIRGIL, and CHRIS TENNISON stripped to their breeches, hanging by their arms in chains in a dungeon. Alongside them are ETHAN, ART, and ZARIN. FAUST enters.

FAUST: Wakey-wakey.
ART: (stirs) What? Well, if it isn’t a Morningstar Abbey reunion. Gotta say you could’ve picked a better venue.
VIRGIL: Sorry. Faust was in charge of the party planning committee.
ETHAN: What do you want, Faust?
FAUST: The guest of honor is here. (Announcing) His Eminence, Cardinal Nikolai!

NIKOLAI enters, a skeevy figure clad in scarlet. He oozes evil.

NIKOLAI: So good to see you all, especially you boys.
GUY: What do you want with us?
NIKOLAI: I’m here to offer you your freedom… and jobs.
CHRIS TENNISON: Jobs?
NIKOLAI: Yes. You boys have an important lineage, as I’m sure you well know. I could use you as agents of the Church.
BRIX: Not interested.
VIRGIL: Yeah, thanks but no thanks, Nikki. The year of the Ram won’t be a part of your plans, I’m afraid.
NIKOLAI: Oh, you misunderstand me. I don’t need you to accept. It’s purely out of the goodness of my own heart that I even make the offer. I already have at least one of your kind at my disposal, and that’s more than I require.
BRIX: What are you talking about?
NIKOLAI: In good time, Brixmore. Why don’t I give you a few more minutes to think it over? Faust, kill the other two.

NIKOLAI exits. FAUST looks to ETHAN and ART and smiles. He approaches them, but GUY summons all his strength and breaks through his chains, freeing BRIX, VIRGIL, and ZARIN in the process. VIRGIL leaps onto FAUST’s back and begins strangling him with his chain, while GUY starts whipping FAUST with his. BRIXMORE starts to free the others.

BRIX: Zarin, a little help?
ZARIN: My name is not Zarin. It’s Linus.
BRIX: Okay, Linus, A LITTLE HELP?
ZARIN: I’m going to find my swords.

ZARIN exits. BRIX frees FLOYD and CHRIS TENNISON.

BRIX: Son of a bitch.

FLOYD frees ART and ETHAN. FAUST throws VIRGIL off, but in the process, GUY gets a hold of FAUST’s sword.

FAUST: Oops.
ART: Quickly, Brixmore, follow me!

ART and BRIXMORE exit, ART shutting the door behind them just as FAUST reaches it. FAUST pulls at the handle, but his efforts are futile – ART has locked the door. He turns to face the boys and ETHAN, who are closing in on him, GUY brandishing the sword.

FAUST: This isn’t over.
GUY: Maybe not.

GUY runs FAUST through with the sword. FAUST dies.

FLOYD: But your character’s part in it certainly is.

ETHAN takes the keys from FAUST’s belt and begins unlocking everyone’s chains.

ETHAN: We don’t have much time.
VIRGIL: Where are Brix and Art?

As if on cue, BRIX and ART return with the gang’s weapons, including the Shiva sword, but not the Imperial Scepter.

CHRIS TENNISON: Sweet! Our weapons.
GUY: Where’s the rest of it?
ART: From what I’ve overheard from some of the other prisoners in my time here, a lot of adventurer’s gear gets funneled back through the magic shop.

GUY, in a rage, begins chopping FAUST’s body into small pieces.

ETHAN: What’s wrong with him?
BRIX: He’s got issues.
ART: Quickly, let’s get out of here.
ETHAN: Wait. We’ve got at least one stop to make on the way.

Curtain closes. B-Stage opens to reveal NIKOLAI’s chambers. A large summoning circle is on the floor. The whole group enters.

VIRGIL: Why’d you bring us here, Ethan?
ETHAN: See that summoning circle?
BRIX: Hachi-machi! That’s some infernal business right there.
ETHAN: Guy, you like smash?
GUY: I’m not a cretin. But yes, Guy like smash.
ETHAN: Well, smash the be-jesus out of that for me.

GUY obliges. The rest of the boys have fun trashing this room.

FLOYD: It’s fun to smash things!

NIKOLAI enters.

NIKOLAI: You little assholes! That summoning circle took years and the blood of countless innocents to create! Where am I going to find countless innocents at this time of night?
VIRGIL: Now what, Ethan?
ETHAN: Now we run.

GUY, VIRGIL, ETHAN, CHRIS TENNISON, FLOYD, BRIX, and ART run out of the room.

NIKOLAI: Those little punks are sooooo dead.

B-Stage closes. A-Stage curtain opens to reveal the magic shop. The SHOPKEEP is closing up for the night, when VIRGIL, GUY, FLOYD, BRIX, and CHRIS TENNISON enter.

VIRGIL: Not so fast, cowboy.
SHOPKEEP: You! What are you doing here?
GUY: We’ve come for our stuff.
SHOPKEEP: What stuff?
GUY: Is that how we’re going to do this?
SHOPKEEP: I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.
GUY: Floyd.
FLOYD:
Sings:
In days long ago at the Morningstar Abbey –
Spoken:
SHOPKEEP: Uncle! Uncle. Here’s your stuff.

SHOPKEEP hands them a trunk labeled, “HERO THINGS.”

VIRGIL: Much obliged.
SHOPKEEP: There you go, now get out.
CHRIS TENNISON: Hey, maybe we want to do a little shopping.
SHOPKEEP: We’re closed.
BRIX: But we –
SHOPKEEP: (losing his temper) Get out!

GUY, frustrated, chops the SHOPKEEP in twain.

VIRGIL: Guy! GOD-DAMN!
BRIX: (sighs) Come on, lads. Let’s go.

The party exits. The Magic Shop flies out as the Shield Splitter Inn flies in. The party enters.

VIRGIL: So I talked with Eric. We’re going to have a meeting at the Cracked Flagon with him, Ethan, Samarid, Garam, and anybody else they think is relevant.
GUY: The topic?
VIRGIL: Everything. The Harvester, Nikolai, losing the Imperial Scepter to Nikolai, and Doogal.
CHRIS TENNISON: That’s quite a list.
FLOYD: We should probably also mention goblins.
GUY: Fine. But no singing about it.

A GNOME enters.

GNOME: Greetings, fellow Gnomes!
FLOYD: Greetings, Gnome! What brings you here to the Shield Splitter Inn today, because that’s totally where we are right now.
GNOME: I’m seeking out fine Gnomes like you to represent all of Gnome-kind at an upcoming Gnome convention to be held in three month’s time in the nation of the Bodian Protectorates.
FLOYD: Really? Who’s going to be there?
GNOME: Bunch of gnomes.
FLOYD: Ooh! I want to go!
GUY: We’ll see.
FLOYD: (to the audience) We totally didn’t get to go, by the way. (to the GNOME) Thanks for the good word, sir!
GNOME: Great! See you there!

GNOME exits.

BRIX: Well, are we ready to go to the Cracked Flagon?
CHRIS TENNISON: I’m ready!
VIRGIL: Me, too!
FLOYD: Yep.
GUY: Well, let’s go.
CHRIS TENNISON: This kind of feels like the end of a part. Is it, Floyd?
FLOYD: Almost. We still have this meeting to go to, and THAT’S the end of the part.
BRIX: So is this meeting going to be important?
FLOYD: Oh, yes… for in the next act is the famous Battle of the Cracked Flagon.
CHRIS TENNISON: Cool!
VIRGIL: Wait. Why is it so famous?
FLOYD: You know, I don’t know. It hasn’t happened yet.
GUY: Your storytelling techniques leave something to be desired.
FLOYD: Your face leaves something to be desired.

GUY brandishes his axe.

VIRGIL: Goddamn, Guy!

Curtain closes.

END OF ACT V